


Know it by its Scent

by Kintsu



Category: Love Live! School Idol Project, Love Live! Sunshine!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Werewolf, Anxiety, Drama, F/F, Slow Burn, Werewolves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-18
Updated: 2018-08-25
Packaged: 2019-03-20 15:33:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 52,888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13720665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kintsu/pseuds/Kintsu
Summary: Riko is scared of dogs, they’re scared of her back, it’s a mutual relationship. Riko is a werewolf, everything else is (almost) exactly the same.





	1. Chapter 1

The air outside the open window was chilly. Though spring was in full effect, the weather was still a bit on the cooler side. The late afternoon had seen the sun descend towards the horizon, letting the air drop in temperature.

“I don’t understand,” Chika said. She was pouting on her bed.

You sighed, “It’s not like someone would just automatically join us if we asked.” she flopped backward onto the floor. The two had retreated to Chika’s room after an unsuccessful day of recruitment.

“I know.” Chika muttered, “But she can compose! If we don’t manage to get her to join us, then we’re completely out of luck.”

“There’s always our plan B, start cracking those books Chika,” You laughed. It’s not that she didn’t think Chika would be able to learn how to write music if she tried, but the time it would take to produce something actually good would be much too long for them to get anything done in high school.

Chika opened her mouth to say something – probably snarky. Before she could get any sound out, the two were interrupted by the sounds of Shiitake just outside the door of the Inn. Barks and whimpers rose up from the entryway and drifted through the window to attack their ears. You ran to the balcony and peered out, trying to catch a glimpse of what was going on.

“Is that Shiitake? I’ve never heard her sound anything like that!” You knew something had to be wrong. Without hesitating the two sprinted out of Chika’s room and down the stairs. They turned the corner and skidded into the foyer. There, standing outside were Chika’s older sisters trying to calm down a frightened Shiitake. You hung back, but Chika dashed forward.

“Is everything okay?”

Shima turned, “Everything is fine.” She replied. Shiitake stood pressed against her. Chika knelt down to pet her. Shima looked upwards and apologized, “She never acts like this, I’m really sorry for disturbing you.” Chika suddenly became aware of what Shiitake was apparently scared of.

“It’s really no trouble. This occasionally happens.” A red-haired woman stood awkwardly across from the sisters. Shima looked from Chika to the woman.

“Ah, Chika. This is Sakurauchi from next door, and her dau –“

“Riko-chan!”

Cowering behind the woman was the figure of someone Chika was quite familiar with. After all – she had spent the past day chasing her around. The girl jumped slightly at her name. You, stepped forward from the entryway and peeked around at her. It was indeed Riko Sakurauchi. Riko, looking everywhere but the girl standing next to the dog, met eyes with You. Startled, Riko immediately looked away.

“Hello.”

“Sorry, about Shiitake. She’s not usually this loud, she’s actually quite gentle!” Chika let go of Shiitake and stood, dusting off her knees. she walked towards Riko, continuing to chatter. As the distance between the two decreased, Shiitake got wilder. She thrashed in Shima’s arms. It’s almost as if, thought You, Shiitake didn’t want Chika getting close to Riko.

And looking at Riko, You could almost see why. She couldn’t put her finger on it, but something was off about Riko. It’s possible the girl was just shaken by Shiitake; she had looked terrified. Even now Riko was keeping her distance from the dog. Sweat had trickled down her face. Her hands – clenched at her sides – shook. Yet, You wasn’t sure. The strained smile Riko had given Chika seemed too pointy. And even though it couldn’t be true, for a moment You had thought Riko’s yellow eyes had glowed.

You stared harder at the girl in front of her. As if sensing You’s intensified glare, Riko glanced over, her nostrils flared for a split second. You forced a smile and casually walked over to join the conversation. Carefully positioning her body slightly in front of Chika, You came to a stop just barely in between the other two. Better to be careful, her instincts screamed. She had no proof, but she was sure that Shiitake’s were as well. You had know Chika all her life, and Shiitake just as long. If Shiitake was reacting to Riko this way, then she would trust the dog.

“How are you doing? Crazy that you happen to live next door to Chika!” You wasn’t sure if Riko was buying it. Chika certainly was, but Riko was staring at You with an unreadable expression. Was it fear?

“it is isn’t it…” Riko’s voice was soft and low. As You had approached Riko too, Shiitake’s whimpering had gotten even louder. Riko backed away from the other two girls, and glanced back at the dog. As Riko moved further, Shiitake relaxed slightly.

“Not a fan of dogs?” You asked.

“Ah, no. Not really.” Riko’s hand drifted up towards her collarbone. As she rubbed her shoulder, her shirt collar shifted. You saw the bright, thick lines of a scar. A curved line of deep puncture wounds filled with fresh scar tissue. It looked nasty, and recent. Riko hadn’t noticed You looking, but as her fingers ran over the scar she flinched and readjusted her collar to hide it. You immediately felt bad about her intimidation tactic. Those were definitely from some sort of dog bite. No wonder Riko was reacting this way. Dismissing her earlier thoughts with a shake of her head, You looked away from the bite mark in embarrassment. Why had she been so suspicious? Riko had probably just been really nervous at seeing Shiitake, who had probably been thrown off by her odd reaction and new scent. There was no reason for You to act this way. Beside her, Chika continued to blabber on about something. You wasn’t paying much attention, but it seemed that the chatter had helped Riko and Shiitake both calm down.

The conversation could have continued for much longer, but Riko’s mother – looking up at the sky – had come over and grabbed Riko’s shoulder. At the touch, Riko had stiffened. Bowing slightly, the two said good bye to You and the Takamis before heading back to their house. Before they entered, Riko glanced back on more time and returned a slight wave to Chika – who had been waving non-stop. As the door to the house closed, Shiitake finally relaxed fully. She flopped down to the ground like a discarded mop. Chika spun towards You, hands thrust towards the sky with barely contained excitement.

“This is great You! I live next to her! I 100% bet I can get her to join our group, we’ll have a composer!”

“That’ll be great…” You replied. Though she had a reasonable explanation, she still felt shaken. You had learned early to trust dogs. But Chika wasn’t listening. She had already turned and run back to pet Shiitake. As Chika scratched her fluffy ears, she chattered on about her new neighbor.

Her stomach flipping slightly, You continued.

“Just be careful not to annoy her okay?”

* * *

 

Chika awoke to Shiitake racing through her room. She groaned and rolled over – and off her bed.

“Ow!”

Peeling herself off the floor, Chika looked up to see Shiitake standing on her balcony. Shiitake looked back and gave a low whine.

“Is everything okay? Come on girl, what’s wrong?” Chika whispered as she stumbled over. It was after 3 AM. Chika cursed internally, Shiitake had been acting weird all day, but this was really taking the cake. Shiitake returned her gaze across the balcony, staring at something across the way. Chika crept up on the dog. If she could get close enough to shoo her back inside maybe she could get some sleep tonight. Shiitake stiffened and pressed up against Chika when she stepped onto the balcony, trying to push her back inside.

“Come on you dumb dog, let me see what’s wrong.” The two scuffled briefly until Chika was able to push the dog aside and lean over the edge of the balcony. The opposite balcony looked normal. There was a sliding glass door with a pink curtain drawn, nothing seemed out of sorts.

“See? Let’s go inside.”

Shiitake suddenly whined. Her ears pressed as far back on her head as they could. Chika swiveled, turning back around to look at the door – the pink curtain now torn and pushed aside. Her eyes met with the glowing yellow ones of a large beast.

“Oh holy shi-“ Chika managed to get out a few syllables before the animal crashed through the glass door. Shards scattered down, shining in the moonlight. They skittered across the balcony and rained into the grass. Chika waited, curled into a ball, waiting for what she assumed was the end of her life. When it didn’t come, She raised her head and looked.

Shiitake had jammed herself in-between Chika and the railing of the balcony. She quivered but stood her ground. Chika stood up shakily. She peeked over the railing to see the animal snarling a low growl. It strained against a thick collar and chain, jaw clenched by a muzzle. Chika yelped and backed up. For a moment she waited, listening to the noises creeping across the way. When the situation didn’t change, Chika stood fully.

There were several things Chika could have done in that moment. First, she could have woken up her parents. Second, she could have called the police. Third, she could have walked over to the house and knocked on the door to inquire about the animal. Chika did none of those things.

Chika called You.

* * *

 

Over an hour later, You arrived on her bike. She scaled up the drainpipe on the side of the house and swung over onto the balcony. It was what she always did when she snuck over to Chika’s house. There were probably easier ways, but You had to admit she enjoyed how forbidden it felt.

“You! You’re here!” Chika had set up a base camp in her doorway. She had pushed her table on its side and skootched it up against the door frame. “I didn’t think you would have been awake.”

You hadn’t been awake actually, but there was nothing like a panicked call from your best friend to get you out of bed.

“Yeah. I brought some supplies. What are we dealing with?” You pulled her backpack off her shoulders as Chika shoved the table aside. “I brought a kendo practice sword.”

“Really? I don’t know if we’ll need it. The dog seems like it’s pretty stuck.”

The dog? You squinted through the gloom, shoving her glasses up on her nose. The massive animal on the other balcony kept circling back and lunging against the chain. Each yank caused the chain to creak, but it held. She watched it do it a few times before it stopped. It circled back again and sat down with it’s hackles raised, growling at her. You examined the creature; the color was hard to distinguish in the dark, but she could clearly see it’s glowing yellow eyes. With it’s pointed ears and bushy tail, You supposed it did look like a dog.

“Is it rabid? That thing looks super dangerous. Have you called the police yet?” Chika blinked.

“Ah, should I have?” You stared at her in disbelief.

“Sorry! Sorry! I didn’t know what to do. I’ll call in a little bit.” Chika pressed her hands together apologetically. You couldn’t really blame her for being shaken though, that dog was terrifying.

“Let’s see what the address is first, you’ll need to know so you can report it.”

“You’re so smart You! I’m glad you came.”

You turned quickly to hide her blush. Observing the house again, she came to a sudden realization. Running through the events from the afternoon in her head, You felt her blood run cold

“Chika, I think that’s Riko’s house.”

“Eh? No way! I didn’t see a dog when they moved in!” Chika looked confused.

“They probably hid it! Look at that thing, they wouldn’t want anyone to see that.” You’s brain was moving faster now. With a wince, You remembered the nasty scar on her collarbone. “That’s probably why Riko was acting so weird, no wonder she’s scared of dogs with that thing around! And why Shiitake freaked out at her! She smelled it on them!”

Concern covered Chika’s face. She glanced between You and the dog with an uneasy expression.

“You. We can’t call the cops on Riko’s parents. She’ll never join our group if we get them arrested,” Chika whispered sharply.

“ _That’s_ what your concerned about?” You yelped, “That thing is gonna eat us!”

“Shhhhh…. My parents are still sleeping!”

“Your parents are asleep? Why didn’t you wake them up? How are they sleeping through this?”

“I don’t know! I panicked!”

The two argued, their voices rising. Out on the horizon, the sun did too. Immersed in their bickering, they didn’t notice the dawn until they heard a piercing howl. Shiitake scrambled to the railing, Chika and You right behind her.

The dog on the other side was thrashing and howling. The early morning rays struck it’s reddish brown fur and made it shine.

“We’re gonna die,” You whispered.

Suddenly it stopped. Then the whining started. Before their eyes, the dog staggered backwards shaking its head. The dog shrunk, fur receded, flesh shifting and twisting. The whining turned into human groans, which gave way to human gasping. Riko Sakurauchi knelt amid the fragmented glass of her door, arms resting on the ground, head bowed. Her sides heaved, eyes staring wide ahead of her.

Chika and You stood frozen.

Suddenly, Riko’s head snapped upright. The muzzle, meant for a much different creature, slid down to her neck. Looking about in panic, Riko had finally noticed that she was standing in open air, on her balcony. She flinched and turned, nose and ears twitching, to stare directly at her observers.

For a moment, the air hung dead between them. Finally, Riko blurted out, “Please don’t tell anyone!” She turned and ran back through the shattered door, leaving the others still speechless.


	2. Chapter 2

You and Chika scrambled down the stairs, leaving Shiitake behind. Chika’s thoughts raced. The dog was Riko. The transfer student who had appeared like a miracle on the beach just a few days ago lived next to her. The transfer student turned into a giant monster. There was no way this was real, it _couldn’t_ be because this kind of thing just didn’t happen –

“Chika!” Beside her, You voiced those thoughts, “We did see that right? We’re not hallucinating from lack of sleep?” They turned the corner and sprinted out the door. Chika supposed that it could have been a hallucination, but glistening glass they dodged on the way to the other house seemed real enough. _Stay calm, Chika. Something is happening, stay calm._

They reached the door to Riko’s house. You raised her fist and pounded on it. Inside, she heard movement.

“I just realized that maybe running towards the house of a monster that wanted to kill us was maybe a bad idea.” Chika took offense at this a little bit, yes there was a monster. And yes, it had seemed a little aggressive, but that wasn’t Riko. Right? Before she had time to retort, the door opened.

An exhausted woman stood in the doorway. Mrs. Sakurauchi stared at them with her dark-circled eyes, a defeated and wary look on her face. Without saying a word, she pulled them inside. Behind her was a man who must’ve been her husband. He was scruffy and unshaven. Carefully, as if not to spook the girls, he laid down the baseball bat he was carrying.

“You saw.”

Chika and You nodded. He rubbed his face and looked at his wife. The two shared an unreadable glance. They looked so tired, Chika wondered if that was what she and You looked like too.

“I hoped we would be able to get through this full moon with the temporary setup, but when I heard the glass break upstairs…” He trailed off, “We should go check on her.” The Sakurauchis turned away and moved towards the stairs. Taking the first step, Mrs. Sakurauchi looked back, “You two are welcome to stay down here or come up with us. Please don’t leave yet though, I promise we’ll answer your questions in a moment.”

Without hesitating Chika started taking off her sandals. She threw them down and stepped out of the entryway, moving to follow the adults up the stairs.

“ _Chika!”_ You hissed, “Let’s just wait here! We don’t know what’s up there…” Chika ignored her, she knew exactly what was up there. Something twisted in her gut, she had been waiting for a miracle. For something to change. This hadn’t been what she expected, but something was telling her to follow it. You nervously crept after her.

Up the stairs, onto the landing, through the now open door to the room that overlooked her own. Chika moved on autopilot. You was whispering something behind her still, Chika wasn’t listening. Her focus was entirely on what was in front of her.

The room was destroyed. Riko’s parents were crouched, examining the chain that had been wrapped around a metal pole driven into her closet. Chika surveyed the area. Glass and chunks of what had once been floor and wall were strewn everywhere. Otherwise the room was empty of anything personal. In the middle of the room, surrounded by the tornado-hit debris, was the cause of it. Riko stood in a nightgown, fumbling with the chain and collar around her neck with shaking fingers. You sucked in air, Riko looked up.  Riko’s face drained of blood. Her fingers worked faster, but that made her fumble more.

“You’re standing on glass.” That’s not what Chika meant to say, but it had slipped out. Everyone in the room jumped a bit, Riko stopped and looked down at her feet, she picked a sliver of glass out of the heal.

“Chika-“ Riko started and stopped. She looked away. She took a breath, “I’m sorry.”

Her voice was small and shaking. She was terrified, Chika realized. Of what? She wasn’t that scary, neither was You.

“I didn’t hurt anyone?” Riko addressed everyone in the room, her parents shook their heads. Riko dropped to her knees and folded forward into a deep bow. She repeated herself, “I’m so sorry.”

Chika and You looked at each other in utter confusion. “Uh, please get up,” You said. She didn’t really know what to do. Riko didn’t move.

“Can we maybe get an explanation?” You continued, “I don’t understand what’s going on.”

“I’m so, so sorry. This was just a temporary setup until we could get the basement sorted out. This won’t happen again, I promise we’re really careful about this. That’s why we moved out here – there are less people – “ Riko was rambling.

“We apologize for the trouble.” Riko’s mother cut through. Riko stopped talking.

The trouble. You wanted to retort to that badly, but she felt that if she did it would delay getting answers. As if she read her mind, Riko’s mother continued, “Riko is werewolf. We weren’t quite prepared for the full moon after having just moved in. Next time we will be more careful, there will be no repeats.” Her voice was strict, but it wavered as if it wasn’t a tone she was used to.

That wavering evaporated, “We ask that you keep this to yourselves. Don’t talk about it to anyone else. We won’t cause anymore trouble for you.”

What else could they do? Chika looked from Riko – who hadn’t moved; her back was tense, she had looked so afraid earlier – to her mother. Mrs. Sakurauchi, met her eyes. They were steely with determination. She was protecting her daughter, Chika realized. She considered them threats.

“We won’t.” Chika gazed back, hoping her sincerity was coming through. She heard You echo her. Mrs. Sakurauchi broke eye contact, relief written on her face.

“Thank you, now we have a lot of cleaning to do.” This was their que to leave. They had questions, but they wouldn’t get answers to them this morning. As they left the room, Chika looked back at Riko. Riko’s hands clenched, but she still didn’t move. Riko’s father escorted them out of the house and closed the door.

You looked at Chika, “Werewolves aren’t real.”

“No, they’re not.” Chika responded. Yet, their new classmate was one. Neither of them said it, but they both thought it. Without saying another word, the two turned and walked back to Chika’s house.

 

* * *

 

The two of them didn’t hear anything from Riko or her family for the rest of the weekend. Chika caught glimpses of the parents out the window coming and going, but they disappeared quickly inside before she could talk to them. After the third time missing one of them, Chika grabbed her phone and messaged You.

_Still nothing from Riko or her family. I haven’t seen her at all._

You responded quickly.

_Maybe that’s a good thing. Your family runs an inn, what if she bites someone?_

Less than a second later,

_Not just customers, you and your family could be in danger. You live next to an actual monster. Maybe it’s better if you never see them._

That was maybe a little far, but Chika had to admit You had a point. They had both seen what that anim- Chika corrected herself. What _Riko_ had been like. They didn’t know anything, who knows what she could do. Still, Chika remembered the fear in Riko’s voice when she had asked if she hurt anyone.

_She’s not a monster You. Don’t call her that._

_You have a point, but I would like to see her again. I want to know what’s going on._

You replied.

_I don’t want to get too mixed up in this, you have to look out for your family first. But yeah, some answers would be nice._

Chika sighed and tossed her dying phone aside. They went to the same school, surely Riko wouldn’t be able to avoid her forever.

 

* * *

 

It turns out that was exactly what Riko’s plan was. Chika discovered this the next morning at the bus stop. Riko who had been standing there before Chika had arrived, awkwardly turned away from her and moved over a few feet. This might’ve been less noticeable if it weren’t for the fact that it was just the two of them at the bus stop, waiting for the only bus that would get them to school on time.

“Good morning!” Chika said brightly, there was no reason in ignoring her. Chika believed in greeting everyone enthusiastically. Riko mumbled a reply, but refused to meet her eyes. Or say anything else.

A few seconds passed.

“Did you get your room fixed up?” Riko looked up in surprise. Chika smiled awkwardly at her. Riko blinked, “What?”

“Your room, it was kind of destroyed last time I saw it. I saw you got a new door. How are your feet too? There was a lot of glass in there, you didn’t get hurt did you?”

Riko’s eyes narrowed, frantically searching for a way out, she was rewarded by the arrival of the bus. Chika hopped onto the first step, and beckoned for Riko to join her. Once they were inside, Chika moved toward the back of the bus. Riko saw the person she was planning to sit with and quickly sat down in the front. Chika turned and opened her mouth. Before she could ask Riko to sit with them, You called to her. Riko busied herself with her phone, Chika trudged to the back of the bus resigned.

You looked at her in confusion, “What are you _doing?_ ” Chika sighed. This was going to be even harder than she thought.

 

* * *

 

You had to admit, she felt a little vindicated that her instincts were correct. But she still felt bad as she watched Riko in class. Riko sat in front of her and to the side, giving You the perfect angle to observe her. It was almost funny, now that she knew what Riko was, the more signs she noticed. The scar was hidden under her uniform collar, but there were other physical tells. Her ears for one, they were large and tapered into a sharp point at the tip. You was honestly surprised she hadn’t noticed before. She sighed softly and watched as the ears swiveled slightly to pick up the sound. It wasn’t a human movement, but it wasn’t that noticeable if you weren’t looking for it. Riko must have very good hearing.

_Sense of smell too,_ though You, thinking back to the way Riko’s nose had twitched. She chuckled under her breath, Riko turned to look at her out of the corner of her eye. You gazed back defiantly until Riko looked away.

She felt a little bad about this, but it without any information besides the basic, it was the only way to figure out what Riko was capable of. Riko’s ears were turning red. Her hands under the desk trembled and clenched. You saw sweat roll down her cheek, she must be nervous. To You’s surprise the reaction didn’t stop there. The skin on her arms darkened – no that wasn’t it. The hair on her arms was thickening, growing in darker. Fuzzy sideburns were starting to peak out around her ears, which were lengthening. You’s eyes widened, _no no no she isn’t gonna transform here and attack is she_?

Riko held up her hand and asked to go to the restroom. The teacher waved at her to go, and Riko got up. Before she exited the room, she looked back at You, eyes fearful. You looked back at Chika. Chika hadn’t seemed to notice what had just happened, she looked concerned and mouthed “ _sick?”_ back at You. She shook her head.

For a second, she briefly considered going after her, but decided against it. Riko returned, significantly calmer and less hairy and proceeded to not look at or talk to Chika and You for the rest of the day.

 

* * *

 

Not for Chika’s lack of trying.

 

* * *

 

Riko hadn’t been on the bus back home. Chika guessed that she must have caught the earlier one. Her suspicion was confirmed when she saw the other girl sitting on the beach. Without hesitating, Chika walked over.

Usually, Riko seemed one step ahead of Chika. She always knew when and from where she had been coming from, so Chika was surprised that Riko hadn’t reacted to her coming over. Chika plopped down onto the sand next to the other girl, who yelped in surprise.

Chika smiled, “Guess I finally caught you!” Riko looked at her warily and started to stand. Chika grabbed her hand and pulled her back down.

“I’m not gonna ask about what happened if you don’t want me to.” Chika steeled her nerves and continued, “I won’t ask you to join my idol group either.”

Riko stalled for a second, then settled. Her eyes returned to the ocean, “What are you going to ask, then?”

“If you’re okay.” Riko looked at Chika. Really _looked_ at her for the first time in the past few days. There was a gentle warmth in her.

“You seem… scared. Like, all the time. Of You, of me too. I mean, I can guess why. But I wanted to tell you that we won’t tell anyone okay? I just want to make sure you’re okay, you’re new here and I haven’t seen you talking to anyone but us, but now you’re avoiding us…” Chika was rambling, she knew she was. But Riko just kept looking at her, transfixed. So Chika kept talking.

“So I guess I just wanted to tell you that you don’t need to avoid us, or to be scared. I mean, if you really don’t want to ever talk to me again that’s okay too, but it would be cool if we could… you know... maybe be friends?” Chika finished, lamely in her opinion.

“You’re weird.”

“Huh?”

Riko stared at intently at Chika. Her eyes burned like the setting sun behind her, Chika felt uneasy for a second. Riko turned away again.

 “Aren’t you scared of me? You should be. It’s weird that you aren’t. Even my parents are, I am too.” Riko dug her hands into her temples, curling inwards. Her voice was slightly muffled, but Chika could still tell what she was saying.

“You should avoid me, I don’t know what I’m doing. I could _hurt_ you! You should be scared of me, I would be okay with that.” Riko’s voice rose, spilling out. Chika could hear how upset she was. It welled out, tinging every syllable, “I would be okay with you hating me, avoiding me. So _please_ …”

Riko trailed off, unable to voice her request. Chika waited for her to finish, but when it didn’t come she leaned back.

“I was scared of you.” Riko gave a dark sigh. Chika sat upright and waved her hands, trying to backpedal.

“I _was_ scared of you. Not anymore, I don’t think. Maybe a bit, of the other you? I guess? But not _you_ you. Not you right now…” _Smooth Chika, you’re botching it._

“Ahhh sorry, that didn’t come out right. Riko, I promise you that I’m not scared of you right now.” As an almost afterthought she added, “And I don’t hate you, and I’m not going to avoid you.”

Chika hesitated, trying to choose the proper words, “Honestly you seem more afraid than I do. And you’re the one who’s been avoiding me!” Chika injected some mock outrage there, hoping to get a laugh out of it.

She didn’t, but Riko still hadn’t left yet, so she was counting it as a victory. Chika considered what to say next, a few beats passed when Riko started talking.

“I’ve only been a werewolf for four months.” Riko was speaking directly into her forearm, having shifted positions into hugging her knees.

“Eh? Really? Aren’t people usually born werewolves?”

“I have no idea. I’m the only one I know. There’s the one that bit me, but I never got a chance to talk to it…”

Chika leaned back again, flopping all the way over onto her back.

“Wow. I guess you really did mean it when you said you had no idea what you’re doing.”

Chika could have sworn Riko looked a little bit miffed at that comment, which was progress! Riko was starting to open up, even just a little bit. Chika laughed, “Sorry! Sorry! That wasn’t funny.”

Riko sighed, “Look, as I was saying. I’m… new at this. I shouldn’t be your friend, and I definitely can’t join your idol group. I can’t control myself, I’ll be a burden on you.”

Chika interrupted her, “That’s okay. I won’t force you. But I thought, that maybe you needed a friend.” Chika stood, “I don’t really understand any of this, I definitely can’t help you with any magic, or supernatural, or whatever this is. But maybe it would be nice to, I don’t know, have a little normalcy? A friend who knows, who you can still hang out with… maybe that could be nice.”

She spun around again, grinning widely, “Though I won’t say no if you decide later to join our idol group!”

“I can’t.” Riko looked away again, “I know you want a composer. There are so many people who could help you. People who aren’t cursed. I can’t play anymore… the last time I did… it went poorly.”

She knew Chika was there, waiting for an answer. Riko inhaled a stuttering breath, “I started shifting, during a competition. I couldn’t stop it, I had to walk out in the middle. Music makes me transform. I don’t know why, but if that’s the case then I can’t do it anymore.” Riko waited for Chika to say something, anything.

“That sucks.”

Here it came, the part where Chika inevitably gave up on her. No one would want to be saddled with a monster with nothing to get out of it. She wasn’t worth it, now Chika would see that and leave her alone.

“Shouldn’t music help you? I mean, it’s a human thing right? I don’t know how this whole thing works, but couldn’t doing something that only humans can do help?” Riko looked shocked, and skeptical. Chika panicked, “I’m just saying that because listening to music makes me feel better! I listen to it and it makes me feel like I could be more than I am… ehehe, I guess it sounds stupid when I put it like that…“

“That’s not stupid!” Riko hurried to make her feel better. She used to think that way, seeing someone who still did made her desperately want to protect that line of thinking. Chika appeared startled. Determined to keep up momentum, Riko pressed on.

“You like idols right? Tell me your favorite song and I’ll look it up. Maybe I’ll give it a listen…”

Chika’s eyes gleamed, this was either the 4th worst decision Riko had ever made, or one that could be the best.

 

* * *

 

Riko sat at the piano, her fingers pressing the keys. Chika had been right, the song was beautiful. Something inside her ached, yearning to find that brilliance, to just say yes to Chika and pretend to live a normal life. She shoved it down.  

She didn’t deserve that. If something went wrong… well, few things in her life had been going right recently. _Still,_ Riko thought, _maybe something could change._ She smelled something outside her open window, the scent of citrus shampoo and warmth that was all Chika.

It was overpowering. But there was something intoxicating, something comforting. Riko was starting to learn to trust her nose, maybe that was why she couldn’t avoid this girl. Hearing her call out to her, Riko walked outside to once and for all put an end to any friendship.

She tried, she really did.

But Chika had ignored Riko’s warnings to keep away, and her refusal to be friends. She had stretched her hand out as far as it could reach, beckoning to Riko.

Chika called out, “You can’t lock yourself up forever! If you do, then nothing will change! I’ll help you!” Her voice was gentle, and Riko wanted so desperately to trust the words she was saying.

“Maybe your life will never be normal again, but you still have to live it! I promise you, we can figure it out together!“

The last time they had been in this position, Riko had not been there. Her unconscious body had strained desperate to reach, held back by chains. She was thankful for that.

But now, Riko was here. She looked at the girl across the way from her, reaching out to drag her into something new, something unknown. Riko reached out too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2 already? I got super fired up and wrote this pretty quickly, I won't be updating this fast in the future though. I have the full story plotted out, and detailed outlines of the first 5 chapters. This is gonna be long...
> 
> In the next chapter we'll get to see more of the three interacting, as well as You's reactions to their new group member. For future reference, I won't go into depth about events that happen in the show. This is set in the time between episodes, as I'm not particularly interested in writing out episodes word-for-word. Some events will feature, either referenced or rewritten, but otherwise if I don't talk about it, assume it happened as it did in the show.


	3. Chapter 3

Riko opened her eyes. Actually, this was the fourth or fifth time she had opened her eyes over the course of the night. She sat up in bed groaning, she hadn’t been able to sleep through the night since the Incident. Something in-between nightmares and restlessness kept waking her up. At least this time, the thing that had woken her up was her alarm.

Right. School.

Riko robotically got out of bed. Even with as little sleep as she was getting, she didn’t really feel that tired. Well, she did and she didn’t. _Physically_ Riko always felt ready to go, mentally was another story. She shuffled over to the light switch – she didn’t really need to turn on the light anymore, but she still did out of habit –  then the chair she had placed her uniform on last night and dutifully changed.

Ah. Last night.

With a rush, Riko remembered what had happened. The promise she made, how she had stretched out to touch Chika’s hand. She had agreed to join an idol group. What was she doing? She’d figure it out later, right now she had other things to take care of. Like brushing her hair and going downstairs. To eat breakfast. With her parents.

She couldn’t avoid it forever, so down she went. Every morning it was the same. She could hear and smell her parents before she walked into the kitchen. Some mornings they would talk, occasionally in hushed tones about her. She wasn’t sure if they knew how well she could hear now otherwise maybe they would be more careful. Today her mom smelled like her dad’s shampoo, Riko grimaced and wished she didn’t know what that meant. Mixed in with it was the other scent, one of the category she was still working on recognizing; she thought this one was maybe content? That was a good sign.

She stepped into the kitchen. Her mom was at the stove cooking breakfast, her dad at the table reading some work documents. How stereotypical. Riko sat down next to her father. He looked up to greet her and frowned.

“Uh, you’re all fuzzy today…” He trailed off and awkwardly tapped the side of his cheek. Riko reached up and rubbed her face, he was right. Heat rose up to the tips of her ears.

“I’ll go take care of it,” she muttered. Her father wouldn’t meet her eyes, he just nodded. No one knew how to bring up the subject of her condition without awkwardness, so Riko tried to avoid the topic. But that was almost worse. Irritation ran constantly under her skin since the bite, making her quick to anger or cry. Maybe that was another side effect.

The scent in the kitchen changed, the smell of building awkward tension was the first one she learned to pick out. Without waiting for her mother to put anything on the table, Riko stood up, “I’ll be back in a bit.”

As she exited the kitchen, she pretended she didn’t hear her mother sigh. Locking the bathroom door behind her, Riko examined herself in the mirror and winced. She looked worse than she thought. Fur had sprouted sometime overnight all over face and ears. Another treat.

This whole thing was like some demented second puberty. Hair sprouting in uncomfortable places, mood swings, another monthly cycle to keep track of. Ignoring the tiny pinpricks of frustration forming in the corner of her eyes, Riko screwed them shut and concentrated. She was rewarded with all of the unwanted fur receding, the almost human-looking girl in the mirror stared back, relieved. She was getting a bit better at controlling her transformations. Not great, but better.

She should probably head back to breakfast now, she didn’t have much time left before she had to go catch the bus. But she wanted to check one last thing first, before she had to go back to the kitchen. Carefully she reached up and pulled the collar of her uniform down.

There it was, the bite mark. Today it looked faded. As faded as a four-month-old scar that had healed too fast could look. As the next full moon approached it would grow more noticeable, until looked as shiny and new as the first night she had got it. When she had first felt the heat on her collarbone and discovered shiny white scar tissue under the bandage, instead of angry red stitches. She ran her fingers over it. The scar was still burning, significantly hotter than any other part of her body – even though she ran warmer than most human beings. She fixed her collar. Time to get going.

After an unsatisfying breakfast, Riko braced herself to go outside. Taking a deep breath, she opened the door and stepped out.

Everything hit her at once. It was easy when she was inside, to keep everything tempered. Outside was just, too much. The sun was too bright, there were a million smells coming from everywhere at once, and the sounds pressed in on her.

_Breathe Riko. Just breathe._

Riko did and doubled over, choking on the scents. Trees were starting to bloom, which meant the air was filled with overpowering fragrance. Someone a few houses down had thrown away a particularly rotten tomato. Her stomach rolled, she wished she couldn’t smell that. The inn next door, _Chika’s house_ , was serving breakfast. Shiitake’s dog food mingled with the smell of rolled omelets, which mingled with the tomato, which mingled with the trees. Which mingled with the scent floating out from every kitchen and garbage can, the ocean, cars – there were too many parts to distinguish.

Those were only the smells.

She needed to find something to focus on, just to find her center for a second so she could push the background away. Then she would be fine. Even as bad as this was now, it was still better than what it had been like in Tokyo. She did not miss the headaches, or the nausea.

Her ears instinctively swiveled at a new sound. She grabbed them, human ears don’t do that – if someone noticed she would have to come up with an explanation. A familiar scent – somewhere between honey and mikan, now with a tinge of joy – hit her nose. Chika was exiting her house. Light footsteps echoed, then skidded to a stop.

Chika looked at her, “You okay?”

Riko choked out, “Just allergies.” Chika didn’t need to know the real reason. Still, this had been the focus point she needed. When she unfolded and smiled at Chika, it was genuine. She listened, “The bus is coming.”

“Really? I don’t see it yet.” Said Chika, straining her neck to find it. Riko shook her head and tapped her sensitive ear, “I heard it.”

“I can’t hear anything,” Chika said, concentrating. “Your hearing must be amazing!”

Riko didn’t reply. Once she got them under control, the advanced senses could be beneficial. Maybe she might even like them if she ever got to the point where they stopped making her sick.

Just as Riko had said, the bus pulled up a few seconds later. The two boarded. Chika grabbed Riko’s hand and dragged her to the back of the bus, pulling her into the seat next to You.

You looked startled.

Chika smiled at the two of them.

“Isn’t this exciting guys! We have all the parts to start our idol group now!” Chika smiled so brightly it made both You and Riko wince. The two glanced at each other, then back to Chika.

“Yep! Super exciting!” Said You, surprisingly convincing.

 

* * *

 

You was not excited. There were two reasons for this; first she had secretly been wishing that it would be just the two of them and she wasn’t thrilled that another person was encroaching on them. Secondly, the person encroaching on them was Riko. The same Riko who transformed into a homicidal wolf and tried to kill them.

Okay, that was maybe a little unfair. It’s not like Riko was _intending_ to kill them. Though that was frankly more worrying. _I mean,_ You thought, _She almost lost control in class yesterday! And today I’m supposed to just ignore that and be buddy-buddy?_ That was not going to happen.

The three of them had passed the school day uneventfully. You had tried her best all day not to think about this, but Chika had pounced on the two of them as soon as the bell rang. A song had to be written after all. You had expected Riko to make up an excuse not to join them, she had been surprised when Riko had agreed with Chika. Which is why they were here.

Heading to Riko’s house.

Neither Riko nor You had been thrilled with that idea. But Chika didn’t have her lyric notebook, and Riko needed a piano. Which meant that the logical place to go was Riko’s house.

The three girls got off the bus, and walked up to the door. Riko hesitated, then pushed it open. Tentatively she called out, “We’re home…”

They stepped into the foyer and started taking off their shoes. Riko’s mom peeked out from a doorway.

“You’re back. You brought home friends?” Riko’s mother looked steely when she saw who it is. Chika brightened up and waved at her. You gave a small smile. She got the impression that Riko’s mother didn’t really want visitors around. The older woman beckoned to Riko to come talk to her.

“You can head up to my room, do you remember where it is?” Riko asked.

“Yep!” Chika chirped. You nodded. They started walking up. Riko and her mother shared a conversation of rushed whispers, they did know that the other two could hear them?

You wanted to leave immediately.

Riko’s room was drastically different from when You had seen it last. It had been painted and carpeted. Actual shelves with books and personal belongings had been set up, and on the side of the room was the piano that they’d come here for. It looked like the room of a normal girl, not like the wreck it had been before.

Chika sat down on the ground, You went to close the door and discovered that there wasn’t a handle.

_Interesting…_

They were joined a few minutes later by a miserable looking Riko.

“Why don’t you have a doorknob?” You asked, genuinely curious. Riko went a funny color, “I… accidentally broke it off the other day. It was early and I forgot to pay attention to how much force I was using… We’re getting it fixed soon. For now we just won’t close the door.”

 _Ah, comforting._ That made You feel much better about this situation. Quick change the subject.

“Everything alright with your mom? Is it okay that we came over?” Chika asked. _No, not that subject._

“It’s fine. We haven’t really had people over for a while.” _Gee I wonder why._ Before Chika could ask any other awkward or invasive questions, You intervened, “Chika, don’t you have to go get your lyric book?”

Chika jumped up, “Right! Be back in a sec, don’t start without me!” She sprinted out of the room and down the stairs, leaving You alone with Riko. Maybe this was not the best course of action.

Riko and You sat in silence. Riko glanced over and away in a repeating cycle. You pretended not to notice.

A knock. Riko’s mother stepped in through the doorway with a tray of tea. She placed it on Riko’s desk.

Riko and You thanked her in a chorus. When Riko turned away from her to hand You the cup, Mrs. Sakurauchi’s hand lingered over Riko’s shoulder. Riko jerked away. She squeezed the empty air above it instead. The silence stretched, Riko didn’t look up at her mother. Taking the unsubtle hint, Riko’s mother left. God, You wished she could leave with her.

You had eyes. It wasn’t hard to tell that things were not going well in the Sakurauchi household. But she didn’t particularly want to get involved. Where the hell was Chika?

Still, she would rather not be stuck in silence. So, “Uh, what do you think is taking Chika so long?”

Riko jumped, You caught a glimpse of desperate hope in her eyes. _We’re not friends,_ You thought, _this does not make us friends._ Riko opened the glass door to balcony.

“She’s not in her room,” Riko tilted her head. You watched with fascination as her ears moved. “I don’t hear her either, she must be downstairs.” She turned, and seeing that You was looking at her again, sighed.

“It’s okay to ask.” You blinked. Riko continued, “I know that you’ve been observing me. And since you already know the worst of it, so until Chika comes back I’ll answer all of your questions.” She sat, folding her legs underneath. Riko didn’t particularly look pleased about it, but hey – You wasn’t about to let this chance get away from her.

“How good are your senses? You definitely have better sense of smell and hearing than a human right? What about vision?” That was a good start, You didn’t want any questions to get lost.

“All three are better than they used to be. Hearing and smell improved the most. I can see in the dark now, but otherwise I don’t think it’s much better than when I was a normal human.” Riko replied.

“But like, how good?” You pressed. Riko coughed uncomfortably, “I haven’t really tested it that much, but I can hear sounds you can’t.”

“wow, that’s impressive.” You meant it.

“Smells are different, it depends a lot on the direction and strength of the wind.” Riko paused, unsure if she should continue, “Emotions have smells too. I haven’t been able to figure all of them out, but they do. I don’t really have words to describe them though…”

Riko was being way too truthful. You felt weird knowing that Riko could potentially smell how she felt about her.

“What do I smell like?”

“Chlorine,” Riko shot off. You grimaced, then hearing a small snicker realized that Riko was teasing her. Seeing You’s serious face, Riko stopped. “Okay, fine. You smell like chlorine and… distrust. Irritation maybe… I’m not very good at distinguishing some of these.”

“Damn, I still smell like chlorine.” It was out in the open. No use hiding it now. “Okay, moving on. Can you turn into a wolf at will? You started to in class the other day, but it didn’t seem like you wanted to.”

Riko flinched, “I… haven’t tried. Sometimes when I’m nervous I start to change involuntarily, which I can usually stop and reverse when I calm down! But I haven’t tried to shift on purpose, I would rather stay human.”

You didn’t know what to say to that besides, “Oh.” You wanted to push more down this line of questioning, but Riko seemed… fragile. The mention of transforming made her react like someone had hit her.

Even though You had admonished Chika in her head earlier for asking invasive questions, You needed to know. “Why did you end up joining?”

Riko looked surprised, “Chika invited me, she said it might be nice for me to try to live normally. I can’t… forget about what I am, but maybe if I tried, it could be a place where it didn’t matter.”

 _Yikes,_ thought You. Riko’s voice was so soft and tentative, her lips trembled. What do you say to that? You wanted to tell her that it did matter, it always would. How could it not? But she couldn’t force those words out. Riko wouldn’t look at her, her hands twisted in her lap.

It occurred to You, that as cynical as she had been to Riko all day, this might be the first time she had a semi-normal day in who know how long. When had she last had friends over? When was the last time this girl had felt at ease? _With the vibe I got from her mom? Probably not here,_ You thought with a start.

It was easier to equate Riko to the animal on the balcony, but every second You spent with the other girl made her come face to face with the uncomfortable truth; that Riko was just that, another girl.

You tried to push that out of her head. Riko’s nose flared, You wondered what she smelled like now.

“HEY! I’ll be back in a little bit! I got tied up with something!” Bellowed Chika through the open window. Riko covered her ears, You saluted back. She probably only had time for one more question. She needed to choose wisely.

Choosing wisely is for other people, thought You.

“You said you ripped off your doorknob earlier, how much can you lift?”

 

* * *

 

Chika had secretly been hoping that You and Riko would bond a bit before she got back. She certainly wasn’t expecting to return and find Riko princess-carrying You, who was holding a large potted plant.

She supposed she had seen weirder.

Riko sheepishly put You down and the three got settled. Riko on the piano bench, You and Chika on the ground together.

“Okay! So I’ve been trying to think of lyrics. µ's most iconic songs were Snow Halation and START:DASH!!, so I was thinking we could maybe try a sound along those lines.”

“Sure, sounds great.” You had no idea what any of those songs were, a glance at Riko revealed that neither did she. The two shrugged at each other, they’d just have to wing it.

 

* * *

 

At some point, after Chika had returned home and as Riko waited with You at the bus stop like a good host, You realized that she had never seen Riko smile before today.

Working on music had been fun. Neither of them knew anything about idols, but Chika’s enthusiasm was infective. You did like having Riko to bounce off of to reign in Chika’s more wild ideas, and she was a fantastic piano player.

You wondered if they could have been friends if it weren’t for the whole transforming into a monster thing. She caught a glimpse of movement out of the corner of her eye, Riko’s mother let the curtain fall and cover her face.

“Can I ask you another question?” Riko nodded. “Your mom doesn’t seem to like us…”

Riko grimaced, “It’s not like that I promise. It’s just that – ah how do I put this – things are weird right now.”

_No shit._

“She’s just worried about me. I’m trying to ease the burden a bit, but it hasn’t really worked. Once she’s sure that you won’t go around spreading rumors I’m sure she’ll warm up to you.” Riko wore the miserable expression You had gotten used to.

“We won’t tell anyone, we promised,” You said. “Look, I know you know how I feel about you. This is weird and it’s kind of scary.” You ignored Riko’s hurt expression. “Still, unless you hurt Chi-someone, I promise I won’t do anything to you. I’ll even… I’ll treat you like a normal human when we hang out. That way no one will know.” _And Chika will be happy._

You spread her arms wide, _“_ You can give me a big whiff if you want, I promise I’m telling the truth.”

“That’s not exactly how it works.” Riko’s eyes were starting to glow in the dusk that surrounded them, but You wasn’t afraid this time. There was gratitude shining through.

“Yeah, well, I can’t smell emotions so cut me some slack here.”

Riko smiled, You wasn't used to that expression on her face yet. Long sharp canine teeth flashed at the corners of it, Riko stiffened and moved her hand up to cover it. But in those brief seconds before she did, it was possibly the most genuine happiness You had seen from Riko yet.

Behind her, the bus pulled up. You hurried to board. Before the door closed she leaned out.

“Riko, it’s definitely not my place, but maybe talk to your mom? She worries about you, and I know that you don’t want her to. But if you don’t let her in she’s just gonna worry more.”

The doors shut.

Riko turned back to her house. Her nose’s impression of You had been right. She was a bit rough around the edges, but she cared a lot. _And she’s probably right_ , Riko thought as she looked up at her mother who was peaking out the window again. She locked eyes with her and smiled a full smile. Relieved, her mom smiled back.

Today had went well, Riko thought as she walked back inside. Dinner would be ready and her father would be home soon. She was actually looking forward to it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was hard! I rewrote it at least 3 times and I'm still not entirely satisfied. But hopefully it got what it needed to across.  
> There's a bit of a time jump next chapter to get to the meat of things. More members! More character interaction! I'm excited, it should be fun! I'm gonna try to update at least once a week, but I'm also writing a thesis so that comes first.


	4. Chapter 4

They had a song, they had a dance, they even had costumes. Mari had offered them the auditorium with a condition. The three of them had everything they needed to put on a performance.

Except a date.

Which is why Chika had taken it upon herself to choose a date and time. Soon, but with enough time to prepare.

“I told Mari that the best time would be next Friday, I think we’re ready!” She had told You and Riko excitedly while they ate lunch. You had given her a thumbs up. Riko on the other hand…

Riko flipped through her calendar planner desperately. She had memorized the date each month and the chance of her being wrong was slim. Still, she hoped that she was.

She wasn’t.

“Chika,” She hissed softly. Chika leaned closer. “That’s a _full moon_.”

Chika paled, her mouth forming an ‘O’. Without saying a word she turned on her heal and sprinted back out of the classroom. Riko could here her faint calls as she ran down the hallway, “Mari wait! I gave you the wrong day! Wait!”

You leaned into her palm, eyebrows raised at the girl across from her. She smirked, “Classic Chika.”

Riko sighed, “Sorry for being a problem. That would be the ideal day otherwise.”

You shook her head, “She should have asked. Besides we need to change it. I can only imagine how badly it would go if we tried to put on a concert with you in that condition.” Riko winced at that.

“I’ll go after her. She might need help convincing Mari to let us change.” You waved at her to go. Riko pretended not to notice that she was eyeing Riko’s lunch and went after Chika.

Riko headed towards Mari’s office. Before she could get very far, she was stopped by someone.

“You’re Riko Sakurauchi, correct?” The girl had black hair held in place with distinctive hairclips. This must be the student council president Chika had complained about before. Riko nodded in reply.

“May I speak to you a moment, about the concert you plan to put on?”

“You would be better off talking to Chika, she’s the one organizing it. She is the club leader, so I’m sure she would be more helpful to you.” Riko wasn’t sure where this conversation was going, but something seemed off. Dia stared at her judgmentally. She gave off a calm and dignified facade, but all Riko could smell off her was concern.

“No, you seem to be the most reasonable one out of the three of you.”

Riko’s eyes narrowed. Chika had mentioned that Dia was against their group, what was she planning? The scent of concern made her more threatening, it was always harder to deal with someone who meant well.

“This concert isn’t a good idea. The scale is too large and the expectations are unreasonable. Perhaps you should postpone or start smaller. You seem to be more level-headed than the others, perhaps if you talked to Chika she would-“ Riko stopped listening. Was she more level-headed? She didn’t think so. Maybe she was before.

The irritation was back again, clawing at her insides and dragging her mood towards anger. More than her new senses, this was the thing Riko wanted control over the most. Why was she angry? What was Dia even asking her to do? Stop her friends? That’s a perfectly reasonable request. The idea hurt though, why did it hurt? Anger at Dia rose inside her, how could she assume that Riko would consider doing that? Riko bit her lip to prevent a growl; her lip bled a bit before healing, her teeth were starting to sharpen. _Calm down, you’re overreacting._ She needed to get out of here before she did anything reckless. Dia was just worried about them, she didn’t deserve to be on the opposite side of Riko’s unreasonable anger, Riko tried to convince herself.

“Thank you for your concern, but we aren’t going to stop. We’ll work hard, and I promise it will turn out well.” Riko smiled, then bowed and turned. Leaving Dia standing, mouth open in the middle of a halted sentence. Riko marched down the hall without looking back. She quickly turned the corner and ducked into a bathroom. The irritation was still there, but weaker. She rubbed her eyes, feeling exhausted.

Riko didn’t particularly like being angry. Sometimes she thought that was all she was these days, that and afraid. Fear was better though, fear didn’t get people hurt. She hoped she hadn’t been too rude to Dia. The student council president was just doing her job. Still, Riko had meant what she said. She would see this idol group to the end.

Riko splashed her face with water and returned to the classroom.

 

* * *

 

It was tonight. The heaviness of the situation settled on their shoulders. Every classmate who had come up to them during the day to tell them how excited they were added their weight on top of it.

The rain howled outside and Riko wanted to go out and howl alongside it. Would anyone come in this weather? Maybe Dia was right, they should call it off.

You had left to check on the stage lighting one more time. Chika bounced in the corner. Up. Down. Up. Her heals clicked when they hit the floor. Riko waited. She used to have rituals to calm her down before her piano recitals, but after last time she had discarded them all. They didn’t work.

“Riko?” More startling than a bolt of lightning, Chika’s voice struck through the tension.

“Yes?”

“Are you nervous.” It wasn’t a question.

“A little. Of transforming.”

“It’ll be fine, we’re gonna be right there with you.”

“I know.”

Riko was nervous, but not. She felt calmer than she had in the past, was it because she had the others with her? She didn’t think she looked particularly nervous, so why had Chika – oh.

The rain had deadened her nose, a blessing. She didn’t need it to figure out Chika, the tension in her back was enough.

“Chika?”

“Yep?”

“Are you nervous.”

No response.

“Chika…”

“A little.”

Riko made her way over to Chika, hesitating before putting her hand on her shoulder.

“What if we can’t do it?” Chika’s voice wavered. It was so soft, softer and shakier than Riko had ever heard it.

“We will. I know we will.”

Riko gently turned Chika to face her. “Chika, they’ll see how passionate you are and they’ll come.”

“Do you actually believe it that.”

“I do. Because that’s what happened to me.” Chika didn’t look convinced, worry crinkled her eyelids and eyebrows. “I want to be as passionate about this as you are, not because this makes me feel normal, but because I want to be like you. To be this passionate is special – it’s intoxicating and the rest of us wish we could feel this way too. People are attracted to that, they’ll come.”

“That’s not true – I’m not – “

“Chika,” Riko cupped her cheeks. “It is. You may not believe it, but I will be here supporting you until you do. So take a deep breath. We’re here for you too, no matter what happens.”

Chika closed her eyes, leaning into Riko’s palms. Slowly, she opened them and nodded. Chika burned with a determined light, Riko snatched her hands away at the heat of it.

“We should head out.” Chika strode out of the room, newly determined. Riko followed after. Chika walked towards the stage with tunnel vision, completely missing You, who was leaned up against the wall outside the room. She peeled off and fell in step with Riko.

“I assume you heard all of that.”

You shrugged, “Yeah. You did a good job calming her down, I didn’t think I should interrupt.”

They were almost to backstage by now, Chika ahead of them. Her back looked firm and steady. Before Riko could follow Chika onstage, You grabbed her and pulled her aside.

“Listen, thanks. I just wanted to tell you that I’m glad you joined our group. I wanted to tell you that before we went out.”

An embarrassed flush rose in You’s cheek as she let go of Riko and rushed away. Riko let her go. She didn’t need to say anything, they would have plenty of time to talk about that later.

She took a deep breath and joined the others in formation. The last time she had stood on stage like this she had lost control, this time she felt confident. As long as she was with the others she would be okay. And as long as she was with them she would do her best to make sure they were alright as well.

Curtains would rise any minute now, they all shared a glance. Whatever happened, they were going to do this together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this isn't exactly the chapter I promised. While writing the original chapter 4 I realized that there needed to be something between it and chapter 3 to make things a bit more consistent and to develop the character relations more, so I had to shuffle everything around. Whoops. Ah well, it happens. On the bright side I have most of the next chapter written, so I should be able to have that up pretty soon. This chapter is a bit more of a serious tone due to the shuffling, but the next chapter will be a lot lighter, I've been having a lot of fun writing it. 
> 
> Thanks for reading, and I'll update soon!


	5. Chapter 5

The first person to finish the run was Riko, as usual. You came sprinting in shortly after. Despite having just finished a mile run with a brisk climb up to the shrine, Riko looked completely unfazed. You on the other hand…

“I – _hate –_  how much – more stamina you have – than me,” You wheezed. She was in good shape but trying to keep pace with Riko destroyed her.

“Thanks, I hate it too.” You looked up in time to see the tail end of Riko’s smirk fade away. She put this into her column of “things that were acceptable to tease Riko about” which was right next to her much longer column entitled, “never bring this up to Riko ever because it’ll make everything horribly awkward.” Her planned sharp retort was interrupted before it even took shape by a desperately gasping Chika. Who, upon finally reaching the top of the stairs, collapsed like a fish.

Chika spluttered on the ground while You and Riko watched her with something not quite pity and not quite amusement.

“I’ll catch up to you one day,” muttered Chika darkly as she rose to her knees. _Unlikely,_ You thought. If Chika trained as hard as You did she might have a chance of achieving similar stamina. But matching Riko’s superhuman abilities? Not unless she wanted to join in on Riko’s curse. The cursed girl in question settled down on her haunches next to Chika.

“I used to have really bad stamina too, I’m sure you’ll get stronger soon.” Chika’s eyes – no – her whole body shone with newly acquired hope.

“Riko? No offense, but you improved your stamina by getting turned into a werewolf.” You knew she was trying to cheer Chika up, but she wasn’t about to give Chika false hopes.

Riko looked around frantically, “Don’t say that so loud!”

Good timing, one of their newest members appeared at the top of the stairs. Ruby folded at the waist and gripped her knees trying to control her breathing. Hanamaru appeared a few minutes later and sank to her knees. Ruby patted her back gently.

The two first years were sweet – not super athletic – but sweet. There enthusiasm added a new feel to the group; for the first time the three second years felt pressure to be good upperclassmen.

 “That was a great practice, good work. I can see the improvement already! How about we go out together to celebrate and get to know each other?” Chika said enthusiastically. She had been planning this since Ruby and Hanamaru first joined, slowly building up familiarity until she could pounce on her new (soon to be) friends.

Ruby and Hanamaru exchanged excited glances. They admired the three second years, You was sure that would soon pass once they got more friendly and realized just how dorky they all were.

“Would it really be okay?” Ruby asked.

You glanced at Riko, whether she agreed to this plan depended on the werewolf. Riko for her part seemed excited. This was they type of thing she had always hoped for secretly as she had gone off alone to her daily piano practice. Those hopes had been dashed by the appearance of the aggressive creature on her way one night. Riko nodded.

“Well, we’re up for it!”

Chika grinned, “Great!”

 

* * *

 

As far as restaurants go, Numazu Burger was reasonably priced for its food quality. It was a good choice for a group of people who didn’t know each other too well yet. Who didn’t like burgers?

Apparently Riko Sakurauchi.

She stood frozen at the menu, eyes scanning it looking for something else to eat.

“Riko just order a burger, that’s literally why we’re here.” You said exasperated, the rest of the group had already ordered and sat down. “I saw you eat a hamburg steak yesterday.”

“There is a _difference,”_ Riko hissed under her breath, too concerned at her current predicament to take offense at the dig at her eating habits. “I have to bite into a burger, my–“ She leaned in, “ _my fangs will show.”_

She lifted the corner of her mouth slightly to emphasize the oversized canines.

“Riko, no one is gonna care about your dental problems. Two cheeseburgers please.” The last part was to the relieved cashier. You grabbed a protesting Riko and dragged her to the table. Riko’s paranoid wolf rules made sense most of the time, but this one was just exhausting.

You forced Riko into the seat next to Chika, then kicked herself for not sitting there herself. Ah well.

“Did you guys get lost?” Chika grinned, thinking she was hilarious.

“Riko was having trouble ordering.”

“Why, it’s literally all burgers.”

“I have a _reason_ but you just ignored it.”

Ruby and Hanamaru watched, fascinated.

“You get along very well.” Hanamaru stated. Beside her Ruby nodded. The two of them looked like they weren’t sure if they could interrupt.

“I guess we do for the most part…” Riko was just relieved to turn attention off her ordering.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to be shy. Feel free to join the conversation!” Chika said warmly, effectively killing it.

No one said anything.

“So… Hanamaru. You like books right? Read anything interesting lately?” Chika leaned forward, oblivious to the atmosphere. Hanamaru perked up.

“I usually read historical stories, but I read a pretty good romance the other day!”

“Ooo! What was it about!” Chika looked excited, Riko tried not show that she was intrigued as well. Hanamaru paused as the waitress delivered their burgers. Riko stared at the offending meal, maybe she could wolf (ugh) it down while everyone was preoccupied with Hanamaru’s book.

She took a bite, her jaw stretching.

“Well. It was a supernatural romance story. Normally that’s not something I’m that interested in, but the bookshop owner recommended it. The protagonist gets bitten by a werewolf and thrust into a world of urban fantasy.”

Riko choked.

Hanamaru gave her a weird look as You pounded on her back. Riko could feel Chika and You’s eyes on her. All the heat in her face had pulled away from the skin. “… sorry, continue.”

Even if it was just a book, Riko did not like where this conversation was headed. The heat was rushing back, fizzing underneath the surface.

Hanamaru turned back towards Riko, “Are you sure you’re okay? You don’t look well…”

“I… fine. I’m fine.” She picked up her burger to take another bite.

“You have really sharp teeth.”

Riko choked again. Beside her, You froze in disbelief.

“Sorry, it’s just that with your eyes and teeth, you kind of remind of the protagonist.”

Her eyes? What was wrong with her eyes? This was the exact opposite of what Riko wanted to hear. Hanamaru looked at her inquisitively, as if she was reading Riko’s story just by looking at her.

She could feel it starting; the telltale signs of a panic attack. The calm part of Riko’s brain felt stupid, was this really enough to set her off? If she could just ride it out and pretend everything was normal, maybe Hanamaru wouldn’t find out.

Her body had other plans. The weird tingly sensation of hair growing in thicker crept over her arms – the panic had triggered a shift. _No. Nonononono._ The restaurant was too crowded, it would take to long to get out of the booth. Her gums stretched as her teeth (fangs) forced themselves into long sharp points. The room buzzed dully in the background, she thought she heard You changing the subject, but she couldn’t be sure. Riko was too hyperaware of each nanometer her fingernails (claws) were growing.

A warm hand closed on hers beneath the table. The thumb stroked the back of her (hairy) hand. _Focus on me,_ it said.

So Riko did. The strokes were rhythmic. She counted the seconds between each one. _1.. 2.. 1.. 2…_ The tingling faded and her teeth shrunk. Riko looked up and into Chika’s eyes.

“ _You okay?_ ” She whispered. Riko nodded. You relaxed beside her, she gave Riko a shrug of acknowledgment.

The conversation had moved on without them thanks to You. Hanamaru hadn’t lingered on the subject, nor did it appear that she had noticed what had just happened. Even Ruby as shy as she was had begun to throw some words in.

Riko let out a slow shaky breath and rejoined the conversation.

 

* * *

 

By the time they left the restaurant, the sky had darkened. They would have to hurry before they missed the last bus. Despite the earlier mishap, the rest of the time had been fun. She wouldn’t mind doing this again, Riko thought.

The group walked towards the bus stop and a quick, but comfortable speed. With the full moon a few weeks away, Riko felt at ease as the sun set. Walking home after going out with friends after school? This was the high school life she had always craved. Nothing could disrupt this moment of content.

A small dog zoomed at them out of nowhere.

Riko and Ruby shrieked in a harmony. You, recognizing the sound of true terror dashed in front of them to intercept the fuzzy animal. The dog careened into her gut, winding her. Riko’s mind went into factory default mode. Riko is scared of dogs = run. Ruby is scared of dogs = protect. And thus, in a brilliant flash of logic, Riko picked Ruby up, threw her over her shoulder, and sprinted full tilt towards the bus stop. She left in her wake an extremely confused Hanamaru, a gasping You desperately trying to hold onto the loose dog, and Chika – who was yelling something that Riko almost listened to.

She didn’t stop until she reached the bus stop.

“Riko? I think I’m okay now, you can put me down…” Ruby squeaked out. Her hair had been mussed up by the chase. Riko gently set her down and turned away, covering her face in her hands.

“You’re really strong. Thanks for getting me away from the dog, I didn’t really expect you to pick me up though…” Ruby spoke hesitantly.

“Sorry, I, uh, didn’t mean to do that. It was adrenaline.” Riko didn’t think Ruby would buy it. Ruby didn’t, but she wasn’t going to say that to the person who just saved her.

Ruby weighed her options, then settled on asking, “Are you scared of dogs too?” Riko nodded in response, “I don’t like their teeth. Or their energy. When they run at me like that I can’t help myself.”

“Me too,” Ruby said. “My sister says I should get over it, but I don’t think she understands how scary they are!”

Riko removed her hands from her face, “That’s what my mom says too.”

The two smiled at each other. There is nothing stronger than solidarity in fear.

 Ruby and Riko chatted until the rest of their party straggled in, a little worse for wear and more than slightly confused.

 

* * *

 

“I think that went pretty well.”

Chika and Riko were the last two on the bus. Everyone else had gone in different directions, leaving the two of them to head back to their neighboring houses. Chika bounced in her seat. Riko sat beside her slightly slumped.

“I suppose so,” Riko said. She straightened up, leaning back in her seat and stretching slightly. “The first years are very sweet.”

“You and Ruby seemed like you bonded a bit. But that’s not what I meant exactly,” Chika said. A small smile pulled her at her lips. “I mean all of it. I know it got a little shaky here and there, but you did good.”

Riko slid down in her seat again. “That’s one way to put it,” she remarked dryly.

Chika’s smile slid off her face, she leaned forward, concern crinkling her forehead. “Did you not think it went well?”

 “No! I did. My control is getting better, and I meant what I said, the first years are very sweet. It was nice to go out with them. It’s just…” Riko stopped.

“It’s just?”

“…tiring. I want to get closer to them, but as long as I’m like this I’m not sure I’ll be able to.” Riko closed her eyes and sank into her seat. “Do you think Ruby would be scared of me?” she whispered.

“I don’t know, probably,” Chika said, bluntly. Riko heaved a deep sigh. “Riko. I think you’re overthinking it. I think most people would be, especially if they’re afraid of dogs. But if that’s what you worry about every time you hang out with them, you’ll never get anywhere.”

Chika leaned her head on Riko’s shoulder, gently bumping her. “You’re allowed to just try and make friends.”

“Thanks.” Riko rested her head on top of Chika’s. “Not just for this, everything. For helping me calm down earlier too.”

“No problem, any time.”

Riko settled in, breathing in the scent of Chika’s hair. The citrus shampoo Chika used was growing on her.  

“Riko, this is really comfy, but this is our bus stop.”

Riko groaned under her breath and lifted her head. She followed Chika off the bus and onto the sidewalk outside their houses. The air was still warm even though the sun had already set. Summer was almost here. Chika walked backwards, chattering. Riko didn’t want to leave yet and go inside, she would rather stay outside and just listen to Chika talk – she was so good at it.

It couldn’t last forever, Chika waved good bye and went inside. Riko hesitantly did the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a really fun chapter to write, I really enjoy writing the banter between the characters. This chapter was supposed to be chapter 4 originally, but I felt that the banter between Riko and You at the beginning was to friendly without enough build up, and I really didn't want to cut it. Oh well.
> 
> It's also apparently ChikaRiko week! I won't be participating, but maybe this counts for the AU bonus prompt? Probably not, but it's really nice to see so many people creating content for something they love. 
> 
> See you next time!


	6. Chapter 6

“1… 2… 3…”

Riko leaned forward at Dia’s count. She gripped her ankle and stretched. Around her the others did the same, all 8 of them. Today was their last practice of the semester, and in celebration of the nice weather they had gone for a run on the beach – if you could call that a celebration. Uchiura beach was beautiful though, the sand was warm, and the ocean sparkled behind them. If they had to run (which they did if they wanted the stamina to win Love Live) then it might as well be here.

“Alright! Good stretch everyone, gather around!” Chika’s voice rang through, bold and confident. Riko obeyed and crushed in close with the others in a circle. With 9 of them now, they had to pack in tight.

“Okay,” Chika said, scanning the group. “So, I know we’ve been working hard for the Love Live prelims, but Dia has an idea to suggest and we wanted to see if everyone would be willing to do it.“ With that, Chika turned it over to Dia.

Dia coughed, “So I thought it would perhaps be nice if we held a small summer break concert. I think it could be good practice for us before the prelims. We need to get used to dancing as a group more, the extra experience should be useful…”

“We get it Dia, you’re chomping at the bit for another chance to sing and you don’t want to wait.” Mari said, a cat-like grin spreading on her face. Dia stiffened, “That’s not why I suggested it!”

It totally was. Riko stifled a smile too, a quick look at the rest of the group revealed most of them doing the same. Except for Ruby, who was gazing at her sister as if she had announced the meaning of life.

“A-anyway,” Dia said, drawing herself to her full height as she tried to regain her composure. “I suggest we try for Wednesday, that’s when the snack bar opens.”

Riko winced, what was with everyone trying to schedule concerts on full moons? Though she couldn’t really blame Dia for not knowing about her condition.

“Could we do Friday? I unfortunately have plans on that Wednesday, and I think Friday is a better day for a concert.”

Dia nodded, then deferred to Chika. She was the leader after all, she had the final call.

“Works for me! I was thinking, what if everyone stayed over at my house while we trained? There’s plenty of room and we can bond!”

No one had any arguments to that. Riko could smell excitement and nerves. They were a raw group, full of overeager people ready to make something great, Riko was getting swept up in it. She agreed without a second thought.

 

* * *

 

The first time Riko woke that night was around 2 AM. She had gotten about 2 hours of fairly restful sleep, which may have been a new record of uninterrupted sleep after the bite. The restless feeling of something buzzing inside her had forced her bolt upright, panting. Next to her someone stirred. Hanamaru sat up rubbing her eye.

“Riko? …Is everything okay?”

“It’s fine, thought I forgot something important.” Hanamaru nodded and crashed immediately back to sleep. Riko watched her start snoring, jealousy rising up inside her. Taking a deep breath Riko turned onto her side and screwed her eyes shut.

4 AM.

That was two more hours, not bad tonight. That horrible jolt of something rushing at her had kicked her out of REM with a violent thrash.

“ _OW!”_ Mari rubbed her cheek. Beneath her Kanan groaned, “ _what time is it.”_

_“Sorry!”_ Riko whispered back. “ _Bad dream.”_

Kanan nodded and shoved Mari back towards her own sleeping bag.

4:30 AM

Riko hadn’t fallen asleep again. A foot appeared at the side of her face and she and its owner stifled a yelp. Dia flailed her arms to stay upright.

“Why are you awake?”

“Why are _you_ awake?”

“Bathroom. Were your eyes…?” Dia trailed off, unsure sounding. Riko blinked. “Must’ve been my imagination. Sorry for almost stepping on you.”

5:30 AM

Riko had given up on getting anymore sleep. She didn’t need that much anymore, but she did miss it. She sat cross-legged on her futon, she would try to get resettled later. Yoshiko grumbled something incomprehensible and sat up, eyes glazed over. A sleep talker. Of course, she would be. Her eyes zeroed in on Riko.

“You have a beard.”

“Trick of the light.” It wasn’t, Riko had gone fuzzy again. She ran her hand over her face and felt the fur recede. It happened occasionally while she was sleeping. She felt a rush of relief that she’d discovered it now, and not in the morning when everyone else had woken up and seen. Yoshiko seemed satisfied with the answer and plopped back down with a discordant mutter of “Keychains.”

Riko didn’t care enough to wonder what that meant.

7 AM

Riko’s eyes snapped open at the sound of the alarm they had collectively set the night before. Dia had wanted them up early for training. About 5 hours wasn’t bad at all by her standards. Around her the other girls were grumbling as they extracted themselves from their bedding and faced the morning air. Riko waited for the rush to the bathroom to go past her before sitting up and gathering her things.

They all met outside the inn, eating light snacks before their morning training session. Chika had promised them a large, inn breakfast for when they got back. Hanamaru’s stomach growled. With a quick laugh as they hid their own hunger, they set off towards the beach.

The topic came up first while they were doing tandem stretches. Hanamaru asked, full of genuine concern, if Riko had gotten enough sleep last night.

“Ah, Hanamaru. Were you awake too? I hope I didn’t wake you up.” Dia said, Hanamaru looked confused. Riko could only look in horror as the group began to piece together last night. With each member piping up when they’d seen her awake, Riko felt her carefully constructed innocuous mask fade away.

“Did you sleep at all?” Kanan joked. Riko felt something settle into the pit in her gut and tried to remain calm. Just joke along and get them to stop worrying, concern makes people look too closely.

Riko attempted a laugh. It came out badly, more like a hoarse bark. “More than I usually get.”

Wrong answer. Dia leaned in, lecturing about proper sleeping habits. Mari rolled her eyes behind her and mimicked her with her hands, once you got Dia started she would never lay off. This was exactly what Riko didn’t want. Attention of any kind was bad, she didn’t need people looking to closely. Riko glanced at You and Chika; they were too busy doing tandem stretches – or maybe they didn’t think this was a problem.

“-are you listening to me? You don’t look well…” Dia placed her hand on Riko’s forehead, then jerked it back. “Riko! You have a horrible fever!”

Dia reached back towards Riko. Concern was etched on her face, the scent of worry settling sticky all over her. Riko hated that smell, she hated that she could even smell it in the first place.

“It’s fine!” Riko smacked Dia’s hand away. If anyone hadn’t been paying attention before, they were now. Dia’s eyebrows shot up in shock. “I’m fine, I promise. I run hot.”

 “Okay! Uh… let’s get started!” Chika jumped in. “Riko is fine, I think you’re making her a bit nervous though.” Dia’s lips twitched and her eyes narrowed.

“It’s not fine. If she’s sick she needs to go back and rest. The concert is today, we can’t risk her getting anyone else sick.”

Kanan nodded, “We can’t hide these things from each other. We don’t want anyone to get hurt.”

Mari slung her arm over Riko’s shoulder and leaned in, “How about we compromise. You go back and rest up, then we’ll see how you feel tonight before the show. Don’t push yourself too hard.”

Riko looked around at the group. Their faces all showed that sweet concern for a friend, all except for You and Chika. Their scents betrayed them; they smelled concerned to be sure, but they were marked by the odor of tension and unease. She nodded. She needed to go calm down.

 

* * *

 

They only had an hour before the show started. The plan was to perform on the beach in front of the food stand, but they met up at the inn for a last meeting beforehand. They had spent the earlier training session adjusting the choreography in case Riko wouldn’t be able to perform with them. Riko did not want them to have to use it. The members gathered in a circle.

“How are you feeling?” Dia’s eyes felt razor sharp. Riko swallowed and forced a cheerful smile.

“I’m feeling well, thank you. I should be able to perform,” she said. Dia raised one eyebrow. Kanan crossed her arms and swiveled her head back and forth from Dia to Riko.

“You don’t look it,” Kanan said. Mari nodded.

“Listen Riko, from someone who pushed herself to far; don’t try to muscle through things. We’ll trust you though, if you say you can do it then we’ll let you do it. Okay?” Mari drawled the last word in English.

Riko nodded. She made eye contact with each of the third years, “I can do this.” The three of them exchanged looks.

“Very well,” Dia said. “But we’ll be paying close attention, if at any moment we think otherwise we will pull you out.”

Riko’s ears buzzed. Chika had started her pep talk. On one side of her Hanamaru patted her shoulder. On the other Mari watched her out of the corner of her eye. Riko forced her face into a calm expression. Her ears itched. She fought the urge to twitch them to get rid of it and lost. Had Mari noticed? She couldn’t tell without looking at her properly, which she was not going to do under any circumstance.

Chika placed her hand in the center with an excited cheer. Everyone else followed suit. Riko placed a trembling hand into the middle. A hand rested on hers and she felt it react to the tremors. Whose hand was it? She wasn’t going to look and find out.

Riko let the hands below her lift hers up and into the cheer. Her hand limply fell to her side. As everyone turned away to make any last-minute preparations, Riko grabbed Chika.

“Chika? I think I forgot something in your room.” Her voice was hoarse and scratchy. Chika’s eyes widened, and she pushed Riko through the doorway. Chika jerked her head slightly at You to catch her attention, then made a motion with her eyes. You followed.

“Is everything okay.” Riko shook her head.

“I just need to a second to calm down.”

Chika closed the door to her room. When had they gotten up here? Riko felt something rise in her chest and kick her heartbeat out of rhythm. She doubled over. You ran to help her up.

“You’ve been acting weird all day, are you sure you can do this.” You’s voice was higher than normal.

Riko gritted her teeth, “It’s just a panic attack… from the attention… give me a second.” Something trickled down her spine and settled at the base of it.

“Riko… I don’t think this is just a panic attack.” Chika sounded as panicked as Riko felt. There was something soft against her leg, something warm. She looked down.

A tail.

Her jaw dropped. You yelped, she’d seen it too.

“That’s never happened before,” Riko said. Her mind was blank. She felt stretched out. Had she always been this much taller than You?

She hadn’t been. Her costume wasn’t fitting right.

“Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit.” You’s voice rose with each repetition. Her eyes swung from Riko to the door. Riko’s leg bent out of shape and she fell forward. On instinct You caught her, but she wasn’t strong enough to keep them both upright. She staggered backwards under Riko’s increasing weight and height.

“Chika!”

Chika left the door and dashed over and wrapped her hands around Riko’s torso. She spoke directly in Riko’s ear.

“Riko, you’ve got this. Calm down and reverse it. Just like you always do.” Her voice was low and serious.

“It doesn’t usually happen like this. It’s all out of order.” Riko couldn’t think. Calm down? How? Could she do that? She caught a glimpse in the mirror. Her lower body had completely transformed. She teetered on legs not meant for walking upright. If You and Chika weren’t holding her she would fall on her face.

“I’ve never been this far before.” Riko’s voice cracked into a canine whine.

“What do we do? Chika, we can’t stay here.” You’s desperate voice pierced Riko’s ears.

“Calm down, both of you! It’s fine!” Chika struggled to keep her voice even.

“We need to leave now!”

“Shut up!”

“Please don’t let me go,” Riko begged. “Please.”

“Is everything okay? We don’t have much time before the show.”

The three of them froze – as much as you could freeze while attempting to keep your rapidly transforming friend upright. The voice belonged to Kanan.

Chika dropped Riko and rushed towards the door. You yelped as Riko’s full weight collapsed on her. The door opened, Chika’s room didn’t have a lock.

All 6 other members of Aqours stood in the doorway. Riko hoped for a brief second, they wouldn’t notice what was happening, that hope died as soon as she saw their faces expand in fear and shock. You couldn’t hold Riko anymore and with a defeated grunt finally lost her balance. Dia shrieked. Chika slapped her hand over her mouth and hauled her inside the room.

Riko felt the stitching on her costume give way. _You worked so hard at that,_ drifted through her mind. Her face bulged out into a snout. She heard a thud behind her, something hit the floor. It was Ruby, whose knees had given out.

The door slammed. All 9 members were fully inside the room. You sat up and rubbed the back of her head. Hanamaru helped Ruby up, one hand clenched around her mouth as if she was going to be sick. Kanan’s jaw had fallen open, Yoshiko gripped her arm and peeked out from behind her. Mari’s face was unreadable, stony and closed. Chika still held Dia’s mouth shut with one hand, her other on the door. She had closed it.

“Riko, are you okay?” Chika’s voice cut through the shock that hung heavy in the air.

Riko tried to answer, but the only thing that came out was a pitiful whine. Her vocal chords weren’t human. Chika and You relaxed at the response.

Riko had never been transformed fully while she was conscious. Her body felt stretched and twisted, cramped even. Her ears lay flat against her head. Fur covered everything, it was so hot, too hot. She tried to stretch her fingers out and couldn’t. The tail – _her_ tail pressed between her legs. She wasn’t sure how to move it, she wasn’t sure how to move anything. Her whole body shook.

“If I let you go, will you promise you won’t scream.” Dia nodded and Chika let her go.

“Listen, we are going to go do the show without Riko. We are going to be calm, and collected, and I promise we will explain when we get back.”

Chika rushed over to Riko and fell to her knees. Her hands cupped around her head and hooked behind the base of her ears.

“Riko we have to go. Please stay here and try to calm down. You can wear anything in my closet when you’re you again. Okay?”

Chika tilted Riko’s head down and kissed her forehead, “It’s going to be okay, I promise. It’s going to be alright.” With that she stood again. Chika and You ushered the others out of the room.

Sakurauchi Riko stood on all fours, surrounded by the cloying odor of pure terror, and felt any chance of a normal life collapse around her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So much for keeping that a secret. 
> 
> As a heads up, the next couple chapters are going to be pretty intense. It kinda has to be when you find out your friend is some sort of magical creature. I'm not sure when it will be out though, I might have a concussion and if so I'll have to limit my screen usage until I get better. I wanted to get this chapter up as early as possible to make up for that.


	7. Chapter 7

All things considering, the show went pretty well. They had practiced enough that even in an unsettled state, they could pull off the vocals and dance moves without thinking. Chika had made a brief announcement that Riko was sick and wouldn’t be joining them and the audience had believed it without question. Anything off about their performance could be attributed to that.

They finished their set, bowed, and left their makeshift beach stage. As soon as they cleared the crowd of their classmates, Chika broke into a quick jog, then a run. Without a single hesitation the others matched her.

Reaching the inn, Chika rushed upstairs to her room. Shiitake sat in front of her door.

“Shiitake we don’t have time for this.” Chika squatted and pushed her dog out of the way. Chika knocked on the door, “Riko?”

“I’m still here.”

Chika let out a sigh of relief. She turned to face the rest of the group. “We’ll explain what’s going on, but promise you’ll try not to freak out okay? Just… it’s… it’s still Riko.”

She opened the door. Riko sat hunched over against the wall, hands wrapped around her mouth and nose. The clothes she was wearing didn’t quite fit, Chika’s horrible mikan sweater barely reached her wrists. When they entered, Riko looked up and then away again. Her hands dropped to her lap and twisted. Chika shut the door and sat down next to Riko. You stopped in the doorway, then did the same. No one else sat.

“What’s going on?” Dia broke the silence, she moved slightly in front of Ruby. Yoshiko coughed and struck a pose, “Clearly as one of my little demons, Riko has been bestowed with magical powe-“

“Yoshiko, this is not the time,” Dia snapped. Yoshiko wilted, Riko didn’t like the smell of excitement drifting off of her.

“She’s not completely wrong though,” Riko said, her voice scratched like an old record player. As if her vocal chords were still shifting back into place. “I wouldn’t use ‘bestowed’ but I suppose that’s a good starting point.”

“Maybe everyone should sit down?” You suggested. Ruby made a move to, but Dia shook her head. Mari pushed past her and plopped onto the floor cross-legged. “Let’s hear it then,” she said.

“I’m a werewolf.” Riko was surprised at how even her voice sounded. She bit her lip, waiting for a reaction.

“That’s so _cool,_ ” Yoshiko whispered, then yelped as Hanamaru elbowed her in the side. Not exactly the reaction Riko had expected. Dia took a huge step away from her, arms extended as she pushed Ruby with her. That one Riko had expected.

“And you knew.” Dia addressed Chika and You. Her tone was accusatory.

“Yes.”

“Since when.”

Chika hesitated, “Since before Aqours. We’re neighbors. You and I saw her through the window on a full moon.” She coincidentally left out the less savory details. You’s eyes darted towards Chika but she nodded and confirmed the story.

“This whole time. You’ve been coming to school and singing and dancing with us, and the whole time you’ve been…” Dia stuck, trying to say it.

“A monster,” Riko supplied. Dia nodded. Riko wished someone else would say something. Then Yoshiko’s unnerving thrilled scent hit her nose with a fresh wave and amended her wish, anyone else but those two.

“Dia it’s been fine, Riko is really careful,” You defended her. Riko jerked in surprise.

“That didn’t seem fine. That didn’t seem careful either,” Kanan spoke. Her voice was measured, devoid of any judgement. That was worse.

“Okay, it’s _usually_ fine. Everyone has bad days, right?” Chika tried to smile, it died on her lips with a withering glance from Dia.

“Riko? I want to hear from you,” Mari said. Riko met her eyes and saw nothing in them. Mari was too unreadable, even with Riko’s advanced senses. Her expensive perfume covered up any other smells. Riko looked up at each member for the first time. None of them would meet her eyes. When her gaze passed over the Kurosawas, Ruby yelped and ducked further behind Dia. Dia stepped forward to block her. Her legs trembled, she was terrified, Riko could smell it.

“I’m sorry.” Riko stood on shaky legs and folded forward at the waist into a bow. “This was unacceptable, I could have put you in danger.” Chika reached up and tugged her sleeve, whispering at her to sit down and stop. “I’ll quit. I tried, but it’s clear that it’s too risky for me to be a member.”

“No, you’re not quitting!” Chika leaped to her feet. “You’re our composer, you’ve been here way longer than anyone else but me and You.”

“Chika, that’s nice but it’ll be better this way.”

“I agree with Chika.” You stood. “Aqours isn’t Aqours without all of us.” She glared at the other members, daring them to say something back.

“Let’s all go home.” Dia rubbed her temples. “This is too much to deal with right now. I… need to think about what to do. Let’s meet up tomorrow morning.”

“Dia, I will remind you that I am the leader of this group,” Chika said.  She burned, her eyes sparked with intensity as she glared at the other girl.

“And I am the student council president, this is more than a club issue. This could put our entire student body in danger. You may be right, only you can kick her out of this group, but Mari and I will have the final say in what happens in our school.” Dia locked eyes with Chika, matching her glare with an impressive one of her own. Riko flinched and stepped back.

“Right, right.” Mari clapped twice. “Let’s all go home okay? It’s been a long day.” Her lazy smile doused the growing tension. Chika crossed her arms. Dia nodded and shepherded the rest of the group out of the room.

“Wait!” They paused, the group halfway out in the hallway and already whispering. Riko squared her shoulders, “Please, don’t tell anyone what happened. I don’t know what would happen if anyone found out.” Was that sympathy, or perhaps a dash of protective instinct that she smelled? Before she had a chance to wonder further, it vanished.

“Until we have a chance to discuss, this won’t leave out group,” Dia said. Ah, that was where the scent came from. Behind her, Hanamaru grabbed Yoshiko by the ear. “That means your subscribers,” She whispered in it. Riko felt a rush of gratitude.

“I’ll leave you to it,” Mari drawled as she left the room. With a wink, she closed the door. Chika reached out and grabbed Riko’s hand. She stroked out the same calming rhythm she always did when Riko needed a focal point.

“What do we do now?” You asked.

“I’ll talk to them and convince them. It’s not fair, Riko’s the only reason we were able to make this group in the first place!” Chika fumed. Riko shook her head, “Chika, you don’t have to.”

“So? I want to.” Chika stated, as if that made everything better. A warm feeling burned in Riko’s chest, she check to make sure nothing was changing, it wasn’t.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

 

* * *

 

Riko woke early in the morning and slipped down the stairs to pace secretly in the kitchen. Apparently not secretly or early enough – her mom already sat at the table with two cups of tea.

“Good morning, I thought I heard you come down.” She beckoned for Riko to sit at the table. Riko obliged, settling into the chair next to her mom. “Have you heard anything from them?”

“Not yet,” Riko shook her head. “They said they wouldn’t tell anyone, but I don’t know… more and more people keep finding out.”

“We could move again, find somewhere more rural. Your father can figure out work and we can find another house with a secure basement.” Riko’s mother pushed the second cup towards her daughter. Riko didn’t touch it.

“You don’t have to do that. You could send me off somewhere, then you wouldn’t have to worry about moving. I could take online classes.”

“Is that what you want?” Riko’s mother nudged the cup into her daughter’s hands and closed them around the edges.

“No.”

“I didn’t think so. That wouldn’t make us worry less you know, we’ll find a way through this together. And when you’re old enough to move out, we’ll figure a way out through that too.” With a final pat, she removed her hands from Riko’s and picked up her own cup again.

Riko nodded, her fingers tightening around the cup. “I want to stay… I think I’ll be able to figure this out. I may not be able to be friends with some of them again, but I’ll still have Chika, and You. I don’t think… I don’t think I want to give that up yet.”

“Okay.”

“Really?” Riko looked up at her mother, who took a sip of her tea. “Is that really okay? It’s selfish…”

“Riko, even with all of this, we still want our daughter to have the best life that we can give you. We don’t want you to live in isolation. If you have friends here, and you think you’ll be safe, we’ll stay. If that changed, we’ll leave. Simple as that.” She smiled, it didn’t quite reach her eyes. Sadness and exhaustion radiated off her mother in waves, but underneath those heavy scents were something that smelled lighter. Finishing her tea, Mrs. Sakurachi stood. She leaned over and gave her daughter a light kiss on her forehead before leaving to start breakfast.

Riko stared down at her hands. The tea was settling down towards lukewarm. There wasn’t anything left to do now but wait for the others to seal her fate.

 

* * *

 

The text came in the late afternoon. Riko had been exiled to the grocery store by her mother to run an errand. She didn’t think they actually needed cinnamon for dinner, Riko knew for a fact that her mother had hidden the jar in her pocket – she could smell it. She also knew for a fact that her mother was aware she could smell it and had simply grown sick of her moping around the house and kicked her out. Still, she really hoped her mother wasn’t using the cinnamon for tonight’s meal. She couldn’t be sure though, Riko wasn’t a very good cook, but every mistake she made she had learned from watching her mother. She wasn’t that hopeful.

The text came from Chika, and read in all capital letters:

EMERGENCY MEETING. CLUBROOM. MARI OPENED IT FOR US. BE THERE AT 4PM.

Chika had sent it to every member. The read counter ticked up. Riko stifled a resigned sigh and placed the cinnamon back on the shelf. She’d come back for it later.

 

* * *

 

Riko was not the first one to arrive, nor the last. She arrived perfectly in the middle. Mari, Chika, Dia, and surprisingly, You were all there before her. Riko took a seat.

“Um…”

“We’ll wait until everyone else gets here.” Dia’s voice was strict. She wasn’t here to make small talk. Unfortunately, that killed anyone else’s desire to as well. They waited in oppressive silence for the rest of Aqours to file in. Hanamaru and Ruby arrived together and sat across from Riko. Yoshiko appeared shortly after and excitedly sat next to Riko. She opened her mouth, but a slow shake of Hanamaru’s head caused her to close it and sit back with a pout. Kanan turned up last, dripping wet. She sat in the final open chair on the other side of Riko.

“Let’s get started then.” Mari picked up a sheet of paper. It was blank. “First things first, we’re not going to kick Riko out of Uranohoshi.” Good news, but Riko’s stomach dropped. They were considering that?

Dia cut in, “There are conditions to that, just so you know. You can’t just run wild around here and hope you won’t hurt anyone.”

Riko bit her tongue. Chika retorted for her, “I’ve told you, she’s not ‘running wild’ at all.” Dia ignored that.

“You’ll leave immediately after classes end. No hanging around after school. On full moons don’t even bother coming at all, we won’t risk it.” Riko winced. That was strict. She could manage it, but that severely limited the time she could spend making friends and participating in extra-curriculars. Which, she supposed, was the point.

“Chika and You fought hard for you, and there hasn’t been any trouble so far. So, we don’t have any reason to expel you.” Mari crumpled up the paper and shot a perfect three-pointer into the garbage can. “Next order of business, Chika?”

Chika nodded, “We need to decide about Aqours. We discussed and agreed the best decision would be for us to decide together as a full group. So that everyone agrees, and everyone know what they’re getting in to.” The speech came out polished, Chika had rehearsed it.

“So Riko, will you answer some questions first?” Mari folded her hands together in front of her face and cocked an eyebrow.

“O-of course.” She didn’t have much choice, did she?

Dia raised her hand first, “How often do you lose control like that?”

“I’ve never had that happen before.”

Hanamaru next. “Are you still yourself when you’re a wolf?”

“As long as it isn’t a full moon, I guess.”

Kanan. “Have you ever bit anyone before?”

“No.”

Yoshiko. “If you bit us, would we be werewolves too?”

“Probably? I’ve never tried.”

Dia. “When exactly do start changing on a full moon.”

“Sunset.”

The questions kept coming, and Riko’s head swam as she tried to keep up with them. There were too many she didn’t know the answer to.

“Okay, that’s probably good for now. Is everyone satisfied enough to make a decision?” Mari hadn’t asked a question the whole time. Heads nodded around the table. Dia looked as if she would refuse, but she nodded too. “Alright, let’s vote then. All in favor of letting Riko stay in Aqours?”

That was it? She wasn’t going to get to make a defense statement? Not that she had anything planned.

Chika and You’s hands went up immediately. Mari and Yoshiko after that. Tentatively Ruby raised her hand as well. Riko hadn’t expected her to vote yes. Judging by Dia’s shocked face, neither has she. That was the majority, 5 to 3.

“Are you not going to vote to stay?” Riko jumped. Mari stared at her pointedly.

“I… I didn’t think I got a vote.”

“Of course, you do. You are still a member, and seeing as you have the majority for you, looks like you’ll stay one. At this point though, you are the deciding vote. If you want to leave, we won’t stop you.”

Riko glanced over at Chika. She had roped her into this, Riko wondered briefly if the her a few months back would have jumped at the way out. She didn’t think so.

Riko raised her hand for yes.

 

* * *

 

Chika strode angrily down the beach and kicked the water with a savage snap.

“Chika! Pleas calm down! It’s okay, this is better than I expected.”

“It’s still unfair!”

“It really isn’t.” Chika swirled around, ready to yell. Upon seeing Riko’s strained face she stopped. Chika stepped out of the surf and plopped down on the sand above the tideline.

“How can you say that it isn’t? They shouldn’t have even considered kicking you out of the school, or even just Aqours. You weren’t there beforehand. Dia was so mean.”

“She’s not mean.”

“Oh, come on.”

“I’m serious. I’m actually glad Dia and Mari were this thorough. It means they care about the school and this group.”

“They should’ve trusted you when you said you wouldn’t hurt anyone.”

“Chika, I lied to them about being human. Besides you, no one would trust a monster they’ve only known for a short time.”

“You’re not a monster, you’re Riko.” Chika crossed her arms and set her jaw. Riko sighed.

“You’re weird, you know that right? It’s weird that you’re okay with any of this. Dia and Mari – well actually I have no idea what Mari thinks about any of this – are reacting to this the normal way. I’m not mad at them.”

“I am.”

“I know,” Riko said. “You don’t have to be. I’m fine. I get to stay in Aqours, and at Uranohoshi. The rules they set aren’t even that strict, I still get to hang out after school when we have practice.”

“Are you really fine?” Chika asked, her eyes cut into Riko’s chest. It ached.

“Yes. It hurt, to see them all afraid of me. I won’t lie about that. But I understand. They all have a lot at stake. Dia has to protect Ruby, Mari is in charge of the whole school, and everyone else has their own lives to protect.” Riko reached over and unfolded Chika’s arms, grabbing onto her hand.

“This means I still have a chance to make things better, okay?”

“I’m sorry, I should be the one comforting you.” Chika averted her eyes.

“It’s fine, you stood up for me. That’s more than enough.” Riko inhaled. Chika’s hands were warm and smooth, her fingers slightly stubby. She entwined her fingers through Chika’s, and slowly started to rub the back of her hand. Repeating the same motion that Chika always did to get her to calm down.

“That feels really nice.” Chika’s voice was soft now, missing the frenzied tone it had earlier

“It does, doesn’t it?” Riko leaned into her shoulder. She wouldn’t have to move, she had Chika on her side, and time to hopefully get things slightly back to normal – whatever that was for them now. Could be worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now everyone knows! Next chapter we'll get some more group time and really get an idea of what everyone thinks about this. Should be fun, probably.  
> In case you were wondering, Riko did not go back for the cinnamon.


	8. Chapter 8

Apparently, thought Riko. Dia considered trustworthiness in the kitchen to be more pressing than potential werewolf attacks. Which is why Dia had approached her with a face that looked like she had swallowed a lemon, and Yoshiko had been banished outside of the snack bar. Honestly, Chika would have been a better choice – she did help out running the inn. Clearly Dia didn’t agree. Chika was still outside wearing the billboard, and Riko was in here, trying to chop an onion.

“If you hold it like that you’re gonna cut your fingers off.” Hanamaru grabbed Riko’s wrist with a light touch. She reshaped Riko’s grip. “There, that’ll be easier to hold.”

“Oh! Thanks.” Riko nervously sliced the onion. At the cutting board next to her, Hanamaru settled back in and briskly chopped a carrot. Riko stole a glance at Hanamaru out the corner of her eyes.

Hanamaru handed her a pepper. Riko stared at in terror.

“You don’t cook very much, do you?” Amusement bubbled under the surface of Hanamaru’s voice. Riko shook her head. Sweat collected on the back of her neck. She resisted the urge to wipe it away.

“Not really,” Riko watched Hanamaru demonstrate how to cut the pepper. Riko attempted to do the same, but the pepper shot out from under the knife and rolled off the table.

“That was horrendous.”

“It really was.”

Hanamaru picked up a bulb of garlic, “Maybe peeling would be better for you.” She reached out to hand it to Riko, then yanked it away. Riko flinched. “You can do garlic, right? It doesn’t melt your skin, does it?” Hanamaru asked, eyes wide.

Riko blinked, “Isn’t that a vampire?”

“Maybe. Do they exist too?”

“Unfortunately for Yoshiko, I have no idea.” Hanamaru snickered at that and passed Riko the garlic.

Peeling garlic was something Riko could do. Probably. She set to her task, face screwed up in concentration. Her tongue poked out of the corner of her mouth, pushing up against a fang. Hanamaru paused in her chopping to watch with pity. She made a movement to correct something but shook her head and went back to her own cutting board. At this point it wasn’t worth it. Riko pulled the last of the skin off the bulb and set it down on the table. Her eyes flickered between the table and Hanamaru.

“Are you this nervous because you’re scared of cooking, or because you’re scared of me?” Hanamaru didn’t look up. Every hair on Riko’s arms stood up.

“That’s ridiculous,” Riko stammered. Her ears twitched, so did the corner of Hanamaru’s mouth.

“I voted against you.”

Hair prickled at the base of Riko’s neck. She nodded. Hanamaru used her knife to push the chopped vegetable into the bowl in front of her. She put her utensils down and looked at Riko expectantly.

Riko got the hint. “I’m not mad about it. Not at you or anyone else. It’s fine, I would vote against myself too.”

“But you didn’t.”

“No.”

Hanamaru shrugged. “If you’re wondering why, it’s just common sense to keep dangerous things far away from yourself and those you care about.”

“You’ve been treating me pretty normally though…” Riko noted.

“That’s just common sense too. We keep knives near us all the time and they’re dangerous too. We treat ‘em with respect and no one get’s hurt. Same with people.” Hanamaru picked up another carrot. “You’re a person, no use in pretending you’re not.” She chopped the carrot with an even metronome pace. “I know you and what you’re like. Just because you hid this from us didn’t mean you lied about that. I can understand why you did.” She scraped the carrot into the bowl. “Plus, Ruby voted for you. She’s a good judge of character.”

Riko swiped at her eyes with her wrist. She felt a gentle pat on her shoulder. When she looked back, Hanamaru had already turned away and started on another onion. She motioned towards the bowl, “Can you bring that over to the kitchen and see if that’s enough for You and Mari?”

Grateful for the escape, Riko picked up the bowl and headed into the snack bar kitchen. Strange scents had been wafting out of it for the past several minutes – after last night’s stewshine, Riko was both apprehensive and curious.

Mari stood at the stove, stirring another pot. Riko steeled her nerves and walked past Ruby – who was washing dishes at the sink – over to the oddly fragrant pot. Mari grinned up at her.

“Ah! Vegetables. Thank you Riko.” Mari grabbed a random handful and threw them into the pot. Riko blanched. Is this what cooking is? Mari winked at her, “The ingredients are more cost-effective, but the taste should be similar. Want to try?”

The spices in the stew tickled Riko’s nose. She stifled a sneeze, shook her head, and headed over to You.

“Ah sweet!” You grabbed the bowl and dumped everything onto the grill. “Thanks for the prep help, you guys are great.” She handed the bowl back to Riko. “Can you bring this over to Ruby?”

Riko turned and swallowed. Ruby had reverted back to her jittery self around Riko, they hadn’t talked yet. Riko had a plan though: approach gently, no sudden or threatening movements, keep her voice soft and low in tone. She took a step towards the other girl. Ruby appeared focused on washing the knife in front of her. Under her breath she hummed a song Riko didn’t recognize. Riko set the bowl on the counter.

“Hello Ruby.”

“PIIIIGYYAAA!” Ruby shrieked. The knife slipped out of her hands and spun up into the air. Riko grabbed Ruby by the back of her dress and yanked her out of the path of the spinning blade. Without thinking, Riko caught the knife. Point down. In her palm.

Riko yelped in pain. Ruby screamed. The two cooks spun around from their stations, rushing to turn off the heat and ask what was wrong in the same moment. Amid the chaos of You and Mari’s intermingled voices, Kanan kicked down the door.

“Get away from her!” Dia shoved Riko away from her sister. Already off balance, Riko toppled over. “Are you okay? What did she do to you? Oh my god –“

“Dia, i-it’s okay, I was just surprised…”

“Holy shit Riko, your _hand_ ,” You gasped. Riko looked at the paring knife sticking out of her palm. Ruby went white.

“Mari! Grab the first aid kit!” Dia was panicking.

“It’s fine, I heal fast.” Riko felt familiar heat searing in her hand.

“It’s not fine! You’re a _pianist_.” Kanan whipped out her phone, “I should call an ambulance, right?”

“Yes!”

“No!”

“I found a band aid!” Mari held an open first aid kit, in it was a single box of bandages.

“Kanan, do not call an ambulance,” Riko pleaded. She grasped the handle of the knife.

“What are you doing? Don’t pull it out!” Dia shrieked. Too late.

In a single fluid movement, Riko pulled the knife out of her hand and threw it in the sink. Chaos broke loose. You scrambled for a towel. Hanamaru caught a fainting Ruby. Voices overlapped in confusion. Her hand sizzled, it wasn’t healing fast enough. If an ambulance came and caught the wound disappearing she would be in trouble. She needed to speed it up. Riko shook her hand, then furtively licked the wound twice.

“See! All better, I heal fast.” Riko cut through the chaos, uninjured palms facing forward.

The only sound was Kanan’s phone dropping to the floor and cracking.

“Wow!” Mari grabbed Riko’s hand and twisted, holding it up to the light. She peered through it, as if she was looking for any trace of the hole. Gritting her teeth, Riko pulled it out of her grip. In the background, Dia stuttered a string of unintelligible syllables.

Heat rising in her face, Riko bowed towards a dazed Ruby. “Sorry for scaring you.” She picked the knife up from the sink, “I’ll go get rid of this.”

The door of the snack bar opened.

“Hey guys! Are we almost ready to open? A bunch of people from school are here!” Chika bubbled brightly, peeking into the kitchen. Several pairs of shell-shocked eyes looked back at her. Upon seeing the bloody knife in Riko’s hand, her eyes widened. From behind her, the distinctive head of a self-proclaimed fallen angel ducked out.

“Wow, what demonic ritual happened here?” Yoshiko asked.

 

* * *

 

It was a miracle that they managed to open on time. The miracle was Chika, who had used her inn experience to quickly reorganize the chaotic kitchen. Riko had been pushed outside to pass out flyers with Kanan and Yoshiko.

Kanan was nice, responsible – she didn’t talk much. After the morning’s disaster, that was welcome. It wasn’t quite a comfortable silence, but Riko could live with that.

The sun set behind them. Next to her, Kanan stretched and pulled her (now shattered) smartphone out of her pocket.

“The snack bar should be closed by now, we should head back for dinner and cleanup.” The third year broke into a quick jog, trailed by her two underclassmen. When they reached the snack bar, Kanan pulled the door open and gestured for them to go inside. Yoshiko walked right it, Riko hesitated.

“I’ll help clean, but maybe I shouldn’t stay for din-hrk,” Kanan wrapped Riko in a headlock and hauled her inside. “If you clean, you stay to eat.” Kanan said enthusiastically and all but threw Riko into the room. She stumbled directly into Mari, whirling until she regained her balance. As soon as she did, a mop was thrust into her hands.

“Let’s mopping!” Cheered Mari, and Riko was spirited off by the two third years. Mopping was fast work, made even faster by the banter Kanan and Mari traded over her head. Riko was content to listen to the familiarity.

Ruby passed by carrying a stack of plates. Riko watched her, maybe she should go apologize. Ask if she was okay. Or would that frighten her again? She didn’t want to make another scene, Ruby would surely drop the plate – A hand connected with the back of her head with a light thump.

“Leave her alone pup,” Kanan said.

“I’m not a dog.”

“No, you’re an idiot.” Kanan raised her eyebrows, “I know you mean well, but she’s not ready for that.”

“Plus, Dia will eat you alive!” Mari chimed in.

“I just want to make things right…” Riko trailed off, she was pushing it and she knew it.

“That’s gonna take time, and a lot of work.” Kanan picked up the mop bucket and pushed it into Riko’s hands. “Start off by showing us how serious you are, then we’ll build from there.”

“Step one is not avoiding us.” Mari smirked, holding up a finger. “We’ll figure out step two as we go.”

 

* * *

 

Out of all the people to sit in the open seat next to her, it had to be Yoshiko. With fervent eyes, shining with unfiltered excitement, the girl leaned in.

“Is it true that the demonic plane is drawing closer to our own? Have you met any of the emissaries? Can you introduce me?”

“The what?” Riko had no idea what any of that meant. From the kitchen, Hanamaru bellowed, “That’s not polite dinner conversation Yoshiko-chan!”

“Yohane.” Yoshiko sat back and pouted.

Mari slammed a pot on the table. “Ready?” She called. You leaned in and whispered in Riko’s ear, “Watch out, stewshine 2.0 didn’t sell either. It’s scarier than the first.”

“Riko, have the first bowl.” Mari placed a large bowl of the offending stew in front of her.

“Hey! No fair, we’re hungry too,” whined Chika. Mari shushed her.

“The nose plays a large part in determining taste, which means with a nose as sharp as hers, Riko should be able to truly appreciate my artistry.” Riko certainly could ‘appreciate’ the artistry. There had to be at least 40 different spices in the stew, the blend made her whole sinus cavity ache. Riko looked at You in terror.

You was sniggering behind her hand. Traitor.

Mari leaned in, “This is step two puppy, eat up.” You lost it, her hoots of laughter drowning out Riko’s protests.

 

* * *

 

Riko woke to warm hands cupped around her face.

“Riko-chan… let’s go somewhere.”

So they did. Chika dragged her out to the school, up to the piano room, then down to the sea wall. The melody she played still rang dreamlike in their ears.

“You have to go to the piano competition.”

“You don’t want me along.” Riko’s heart rose in her throat, Chika was finally kicking her out of the group.

“No! That’s not it, didn’t you love piano? You’ve performed with Aqours, shouldn’t you be able to go and face it again? It’s important to you.” The sun was rising on the horizon, lighting up Chika’s hair and eyes, making them glow with passion. It refracted off the strands of hair as Chika shook her head. She was right, Chika was always right. Riko threw herself into a hug. There it was again, that mikan-shampoo-scent, that sweet honey smell of passion and exuberance that was all Chika. That tinge underneath, a wisp of something not quite unfamiliar. Riko couldn’t grasp it.

Chika’s hands were so warm, how many times had Riko sank into the comfort of those hands? A lifetime’s worth, the calm in them kept her feet firmly planted in humanity. The sun peeked out from the ocean, Riko stood hand in hand with Chika, and at that moment, Riko came to three conclusions.

  1. Chika Takami was correct, she should enter the piano competition.
  2. Chika Takami was weird, but also beautiful.
  3. She – Riko Sakurauchi – was possibly, maybe, almost definitely in love with her.



So, she said so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been looking forward to this chapter for a while now. Mostly because I like writing goofy parts, but also because it gave me an excuse to rewatch episode 10 of season 1. Always a good thing to have an excuse to do. 
> 
> Will Chika respond to Riko's confession? Does Chika even know it's a confession? How will Riko fare in Tokyo?  
> Well, it's a slow burn for a reason. Tune in next time for answers to some of these questions, as well as an appearance by a very special guest.
> 
> I hope Rikyako learns how to cut an onion safely one day, she doesn't have Riko's healing ability.


	9. Chapter 9

_Congrats on winning!_

Riko stared at the text on her phone. She swiped up, looking at all the other texts from the weekend. There were messages from You thanking her, and from Chika about You. Both of them had sent her good luck texts. With a sigh Riko shut off her phone and tucked it into her purse. She was glad that You and Chika had sorted things out, but that didn’t help her current predicament. Maybe a walk would. The competition had gone smoothly, but now Riko had to deal with her other situation. She had a lot to think about before the rest of Aqours got here tomorrow.

Tokyo was pretty much the same as the last time she had been. The familiarity of the area was still there, but her new senses revealed a whole different side to it. At least this time she could stand to be outside for longer than a few minutes. She had either gotten much better at controlling her senses, or she was finally getting used to them. Tokyo had many more smells and sounds than Uchiura to be sure, she didn’t feel nearly as overwhelmed as she had been in the past. Riko remembered with a grimace how bad the first few days after her senses kicked into overdrive had been. The vomiting and headaches had made her want to lay down forever, finally her mother had dragged her out of bed and sent her still dizzy to pick up milk.

It occurred to Riko, as she put on her shoes, that her mother’s default parent move was to send Riko shopping. She couldn’t say if it was actually helpful.

Her mother. Riko pushed her door open and blinked as the streetlights hit her eyes. Only a few months ago Riko’s biggest problem had been how to tell her mother she was gay. That had been put on hold indefinitely after she was bitten. Now it was back. Each time Chika messaged, her heart skipped, beating the reminder she would have to tell someone eventually deep into her chest. Though if her mom could accept her daughter being a werewolf, she would probably be alright with her being a lesbian. Right?

The streets in her area weren’t as crowded as they normally would be. It was around dinner, perhaps everyone was heading home. Dinnertime scents drifted along the breeze, Riko sniffed and her stomach growled. She should pick something up while she was out.

Her eyes glowed in the dusk, a passerby gave her an odd stare. Riko didn’t notice. Her purse vibrated. Riko pulled out her cellphone and read Chika’s message off the screen. Shutting it, she placed it back in her bag.

It had become increasingly obvious that Chika had not realized what Riko had meant on the sea wall. She wasn’t exactly sure how “I love you” hadn’t gotten through. But at least this gave her more time to figure things out. The spur of the moment confession had surprised her too. It had slipped out before she processed it.

Fog trickled in from all sides. Riko cursed, she hadn’t bothered to check the weather. Eyes burning in gloom, she peeked at a street sign. Even muffled her senses could make up for the fog.

Maybe Chika was oblivious, maybe she was straight. Maybe she was both.

Her stomach growled again and Riko looked up to see if there was a restaurant nearby. The only buildings around were offices. She would have to backtrack. Riko turned and sniffed the air, her trail should still be there. It wasn’t. The fog maybe?

Why was it harder to tell someone you’re gay than it is to tell someone you’re a werewolf? Then again, she never actually chose to tell anyone she was a werewolf. Was adding the gay thing on top of it pushing it? Riko made a face. If they didn’t kick her out for being a semi-regular homicidal monster it should be fine, right?

Cold metal wrapped around her neck with a click. Riko yelped with surprise – it was cut short by sharp, bitter tasting steel forced in between her jaws. The person behind her was taller, but not stronger. Riko ripped out of their grasp and fell forward. Her body was melting – no – transforming. Her clothes split.

What the hell, why hadn’t she sensed anything–

The fog.

Riko struggled to her paws. _Focus_. Her body refused to shift. As opposed to before she felt solid. Locked. The collar and muzzle pulled heavy at her head.

The man approached her, no there were two. Three? One of them held a chain. They were idiots, she didn’t need to change back right now. She could outrun them, she had claws- they lunged at her. Riko dodged and slammed into something solid. She couldn’t see clearly. Her jaw ached. The muzzle cut into the sides of her mouth and clenched her teeth shut. If she could just get it off- another lunge, another dodge, another slam into something solid.

Yellow eyes rolled wildly, there shouldn’t be a building there. She needed to get out. Get back on her feet. Where? Faster. Lunge. Where was the third man? She could only see two. Why can’t she smell anything? Wait –

Sweet incense drifted through the fog. Some exotic flower Riko didn’t recognize. It winded all around the four, weaving itself into the fog. The first man dropped, then the second. Riko didn’t wait for the third, she bolted. The incense straightened out into a path, leading her somewhere. She followed it blindly to its origin, a long set of stairs.

She knew this place. This shrine – she had _been_ to this shrine before. With Chika and Aqours, and before to pray for entrance exams. This was near Otonokizaka. She could find her way back to the apartment from here.

Her paws carried her up the steps. The incense closed behind her into a soft blanket barrier.

“Hey, it’s okay. I’ve got you.” A shrine maiden approached her. Riko flinched, head weaving back and forth as she backed up, ears flat against her skull. The woman stopped. Should she run or stay? Riko wasn’t sure. All she knew is that she wanted to be herself again. Without bothering to worry is she should shift in front of a stranger, Riko strained at her mind. _Human, you’re human._ Was she? Her body refused to obey her, staying firmly settled in this too-large wolf’s body. Why wasn’t it working? Riko’s scream of frustration came out as a pathetic howl.

“It’s the collar.” Riko whipped her head around to look at the woman. The shrine maiden regarded Riko with an even gaze. She tapped her own neck, “I’ll have to look closer at it, but I can see the enchantment on it. I think I can help – if you let me examine it.”

Enchantment? Riko’s eyes widened. The woman had been talking to her as if she was a person, as if she knew exactly what Riko was. The shrine maiden took another step towards her. The werewolf growled instinctively in response.

“I won’t hurt you. I can help, I sent the incense.”

The woman’s clothes smelled of it, pulling Riko back from anxiety to the forefront of her mind. Step by slow step the woman edged towards her, palms held out. Her fingertips brushed the side of Riko’s snout. They worked back along the metal muzzle then down to the collar. She frowned.

“This is some serious magic, it’ll take me a while to undo.” She stood and beckoned for Riko to follow her deeper into the shrine grounds. “I don’t know where they found that thing, there aren’t many of this sort of objects left. Those curators meant business. I supposed you'd fetch a hefty price from a collector, they usually only go after artifacts though. I guess an actual, live werewolf was too much to pass up..." The woman purse her lips, the expression was fairly neutral. The rage Riko smelled off of her was anything but. Riko's head spun. She shook it to clear it out. The woman saw Riko's confusion and reassured her,  "Don’t worry – the incense will keep them out of the shrine. I doubt they'll come after you again.”

Riko trotted after the woman. Her voice was soothing, it’s sounded familiar. She sighed, “What’s your name? Do you think you can scratch it out on the ground?”

That was a brilliant idea. Kanji would be too difficult, but Riko could manage to scratch out the hiragana of her name. The woman nodded.

“Riko? Would you mind if I saw your purse? If you have a phone I can call your parents – or anyone you trust.”

Her purse? It was still there, hanging loosely around her body. It bumped against her leg with each step. How hadn’t she noticed it before? The woman slipped it off her head and pull out her cellphone. Riko scratched the passcode into the dirt. The woman entered it, scrolled for a bit, then held it up to her ear.

“Hello, are you Riko’s mother? … I work at the Kanda shrine. …Yes she’s fine, there was a …dog problem. Yes. She’s a bit stuck right now, can’t talk. I can help her, don’t worry. …no, don’t worry about it. Come tomorrow morning.”

Ending the call, the woman knelt down and rubbed Riko’s ears. Riko pressed into her hand, trembling. “You’re mom will be here tomorrow first thing. In the meantime, I’ll get you some food and a bed.”

In response, Riko’s stomach rumbled. Food sounded good, rest even better. She moved to follow the woman, then paused, eyes narrowing. She was forgetting something important.

Riko’s etched out a name in the dirt. She pushed a whine out through the bars of the muzzle. The woman watched patiently. Unlocking Riko’s phone, she scrolled until she found the right contact.

She called Chika.

 

* * *

 

Eating was difficult. Riko was starting to think this woman was an actual goddess, she had patiently fed small pieces of meat through the muzzle so that Riko could get them in her mouth. The muzzle made it impossible for her to pick anything up. The collar rubbed raw against her neck. Every time she shifted her head the muzzle pressed into the corners of her mouth and over her tongue. Each swallow sent a fresh throb of pain. She wasn’t healing. Riko shook her head and gagged, but both stayed firmly in place.

The woman stroked her head and whispered for her to move gently. “I’ll get you out of this, I promise. I just need time.”

Time. Riko didn’t know if she could wait. She tested the shift again. The picture of her human-ish body clear in her mind, Riko concentrated. Nothing. Not even a ripple of fur. Her tail slipped in between her legs. Riko still hadn’t figured out what muscles made it move like that, so she let it be. Heaviness set into her bones, making her joints tremble. A soft whine trickled out of her mouth. She was so tired. Her whole body cramped and ached in the unfamiliar form. If only she could stand up straight on her hind – on her legs – and stretch. Maybe that would give her some relief. 

The woman led Riko to a pile of blankets. “Sorry, this is all we have.” Riko didn’t care. She curled up in the blankets. The collar dug into her neck again. She changed position, it pressed into her windpipe. No matter how she arranged her body some piece of metal pushed into it somewhere.

The woman sat down next to her, letting a hand fall on Riko’s long back. “It’s going to be a tough night.” She stroked her hand down the length of her spine. Wow, that felt surprisingly good. The woman hummed a familiar tune. Her hand pet the rhythm down Riko’s side, stroking in the direction of the fur. The heaviness settled onto her eyelids. Weight pressed into all corners of her body and settled into her chest with an deep ache. Canines can’t cry like people do, their tear ducts don't work that way. Riko desperately wanted to. Her emotions had nowhere to go. So instead, Riko closed her eyes and dreamed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally Riko runs into someone who maybe knows a bit more about her condition. Everyone gets one guess as to who the woman is. I'll update the tags to reflect this after I post the next chapter so as not to spoil anything, just in case.


	10. Chapter 10

_The street was empty on her way back from the convenience store. Riko usually didn’t stay out this late, she always came home right after piano practice. She had been hungry though. Those egg sandwiches had called out to her. Sharp scratches came from behind her – in time with quick, heavy pads of feet. Riko turned and felt a searing pain in her shoulder._

Riko thrashed awake. Her neck hurt. Her jaw hurt. Now that she thought about it, her whole body ached like she had pulled a muscle. Like she had pulled a muscle everywhere. Where was she anyway?

Her hands wouldn’t move to her sides to prop herself up, and when a yawn forced its way out her jaw refused to open – oh. Riko shook hear head and felt the weight of the collar pull against it. Furry ears lay flat against her head. Right. She was stuck.

The early morning sun streamed through the open doorway. Riko didn’t have any more reason to stay in the cramped room with the pile of blankets that she must have slept on last night, so she peaked her snout into the courtyard.

A familiar smell hit her nose. Riko padded into the open area behind the shrine. There, stood a crowd of people Riko knew very well. An orange-smelling girl perked up when she saw Riko’s hesitant shape and waved.

“Riko! We all came! Your mom’s here too!”

Her ears swiveled forward at the sound of Chika’s voice. She took a step towards her – but didn’t get very far. A pair of salty smelling arms wrapped around her neck. Her mother. She had been crying. Riko pushed her head into her mother’s chest. Even if her hearing hadn’t been so sensitive, Riko still would have heard her mother’s whispers. After squeezing her daughter tighter, Riko’s mother pulled away. She slipped her fingers around the muzzle straps and pulled. Riko’s face up to her own. The corners of her eyes drooped with exhaustion, she wasn’t wearing makeup. With how early it was, Riko realized, they must have all come on the first train from Numazu. Her mother hadn’t looked this tired since her first full moon. How much sleep had she gotten?

Her mom’s eyes softened, threatening to spill over again. “Oh, Riko. Who did this?”

“As I was just about to say, Curators.” The woman from last night joined them. Aqours followed, Dia made a frantic motion to the woman’s back.

“That’s _the_ Nozomi Toujou. From _Muse_ ,” She hissed. Ah, that explains why her voice was so familiar. Riko knew she should be excited, but honestly this woman’s participation in a popular idol group seemed a lot less important right now than her ability to help her.

Nozomi smiled patiently, “Yes, that is indeed me. Anyway, Curators. They’re… glorified flea market hunters. They mostly go after magical artifacts and try to resell them to collectors. Usually they don’t go after magical creatures, they aren’t exactly fighters. I guess they felt confident since you were so young.” She reached down and touched the collar. “I’m sure they only went after you because they have these. There aren’t many left, I don’t expect they’ll come after you again.”

Riko’s mother stood, “Can you be sure? How did they even know to go after her in the first place?”

“I can’t be, I expect that’s not what you wanted to hear.” Nozomi placed a hand on Mrs. Sakurauchi’s shoulder. “That being said, I think it’s very unlikely. As for how they knew, I can’t say. Maybe they have an artifact, maybe they just saw her and recognized some features. I don’t think we’ll ever know.”

Riko felt a hand on her head, she twisted up to see Chika had moved to stand next to her. Chika smiled at her, it didn’t reach her eyes.

“Do you know anything concrete? I am trying to protect my daughter from these… curators. I need more information than this.” Mrs. Sakurauchi’s voice was steely, Riko cringed at the metallic scent that came with it. Nozomi just smiled.

“I brought red bean buns!” A warm voice that reminded Riko of nutmeg cut through the tension. A young woman with light brown hair walked into the courtyard holding a bakery tray. Behind her followed a ginger. She held up a bag, “I brought the med kit.”

Dia’s jaw dropped. She tried to say something but only an incoherent string of syllables came out. She moved towards the new people, Mari and Kanan wrapped their arms around her and yanked her back. Chika’s hand gripped the fur on Riko’s back, pulling at it. Riko yelped. The hand loosened, “Ah! Sorry!”

Honoka smiled and pressed a warm bun into Ruby’s hand, who looked as if she was going to pass out. Honoka didn’t seem to notice. Maki skirted around the edge of the group, noting the fervent admiration burning in their eyes. Nozomi clapped her hands, “Okay, we can get started now.”

“Are you going to do magic?” Yoshiko shoved through to the front.

“Not exactly. I’m going to unravel it. No one does magic anymore.” Nozomi kneeled down to get closer to Riko. Yoshiko’s eyes narrowed in confusion, “whu?”

“What do you two do?” Hanamaru whispered to Honoka as the latter placed a bun in her hands.

“Nothing!” Honoka said cheerfully, “I’m just here for breakfast. Maki helps out if there are any injuries. This doesn’t happen that often.”

“Oh.” Hanamaru looked slightly disappointed.

Nozomi lifted the collar away from Riko’s neck, twisting to peer under it. “According to my research, it should be… ah!” She pinched. The air flattened, every hair on Riko’s body stood straight up. Nozomi pulled and Riko felt a stretch in her gut. With a final tug, the collar unlocked and fell to the ground.

Riko’s mother let out a breath. Wiping sweat from her forehead, Nozomi gently maneuvered Riko’s head to the side. “Sorry,” she muttered. “I just need a better angle.” Riko puffed air out her nose and let Nozomi manipulate her head.

“There we go.” The pinch, the pull, the tug. The muzzle unlatched. Riko shook her head until it slid off onto the ground. Her mother motioned toward Chika, who ran over to the back of the shrine and grabbed a bag.

Riko scrambled to her feet, straining and shaking. Human. She could go back to being human – if her body would just respond.

“Riko, calm down. There might be some aftereffects of the spell, give it a moment to wear off.”

Legs shaking, Riko pulled away. Come on, come on. She whined and shook her head. Fur receded on her paw – finally. She stumbled forward, unfolding. Behind her Chika unzipped the bag. Riko’s human legs collapsed underneath her. Soft cloth draped around her shoulders – Chika wrapped a thin blanket around her naked body.

Hands and arms reached underneath her own, pulling her to her feet. She leaned into her mother, legs still shaking.

“Can you walk?”

Her vocal chords squeaked. She cleared her throat and tried again, “…es.” The cuts at the corner of her mouth cracked and bled. It hurt. Why wasn’t she healing?

“The spell still has your form locked. Let’s get some clothes on you and we’ll have Maki take a look, okay?”

Riko nodded.

 

* * *

 

“Here you go, I warmed it up for you.” Honoka reached around Maki and shoved a bun at Riko.

“Thanks,” Riko said and winced. Maki stuck a piece of gauze to her face.

“Stop moving.”

“Sorry.”

Maki frowned and moved to clean the raw patch on her neck. She bandaged the area and sat back on her heals.

“There we go, there may be some scarring – but I guess that depends on when your accelerated healing kicks back in.”

“Thanks.” Riko looked down at her lap. Her mother had picked out comfy clothes for her. Riko still felt unsettled, she was all to aware of the soft sweater rubbing against the back of her neck.

Maki glanced up at Honoka, “I… guess we should go back to the others?”

 

* * *

 

Riko heard Yoshiko before she saw her. They all did. Her voice had a tendency to carry. As they walked into the courtyard, Nozomi’s patient voice joined in.

“I can’t teach you magic. It’s not dying, it’s already dead.”

“But you can do it! I just saw you!”

“Seeing and unraveling isn’t the same, it’s like picking apart a seam. No one can create magic anymore. Some plants still have properties, and there are a few artifacts and curses here and there, but if you want to craft spells you’re out of luck.”

“That’s enough Yoshiko.” Hanamaru pulled the other girl away from Nozomi.

“But what about Riko? That’s magic right?” Yoshiko gestured towards the girl in question, yanking her arm away from Hanamaru. At Yoshiko’s outburst, Chika and Riko’s mother rushed towards Riko.

“That’s a curse, Yoshiko. Unless you get bitten you can’t shapeshift. Even lycanthropy is weakening over time. It’ll die out eventually too.”

“It is?” Riko tried to contain her swelling hope, but it slipped out anyway. Nozomi winced at the sound of it.

“I mean over generations; the curse gets weaker with each time it gets passed on.”

“So you can break it, right? Like you did with the collar.” Riko pushed past her mother, “Please! I can’t keep this up forever.”

Her hands grasped the air frantically. She felt a hand on her shoulder, her mom looked towards Nozomi as well.

The scent betrayed her before she even began to speak.

“I wish I could, but I can’t.”

“But.. you..” Riko deflated. There had to be a way to end this, wasn’t this her best shot?

“It’s a blood curse. It’s already integrated with your body, it’s impossible to unravel.” Nozomi crossed her arms, Riko could still see them trembling. Maki and Honoka exchanged a look, they must have noticed too.

“When I said the curse was dying out, I meant literally. Werewolves… don’t last very long. There aren’t many of them left, in fact I’ve never actually met one before. I didn’t think there were any in Japan.”

“What do you mean, don’t last long?” Her mother’s nails dug into her shoulder, cold fear struck her nostrils. Nozomi shook her head.

“One that can’t control themselves often get shot, and those that can…” Nozomi hesitated, “It’s hard on them mentally, depression is… very common. So are the outcomes related to it.”

Buzzing rang in her ears. She almost wanted to laugh. Riko felt her knees buckle, she caught herself. She decided to sit down anyway. Her mother moved down with her. Someone was calling her name, was it Chika?

Stupid. It was stupid of her to think that maybe this would end. Her nose was dulled, but she could smell the pity emanating from her – were they friends? It pressed on her. She didn’t want to see their faces, she didn’t want to see their eyes. If she did, she would probably cry. Riko would almost rather they were afraid of her than pity her.

“I’m going to be like this for the rest of my life.” Riko was surprised by how upset she as by this. Before this morning, she hadn’t even though that there may be a way to fix this. Then again, perhaps there had been a part of her secretly hoping she would wake up normal one full moon. At least, as normal as her human self could get. Riko shoved that anxiety down. Heat pricked at the corners of her eyes. She was so stupid. Here it was, the official confirmation.

With a rustle of skirts and dirt, Nozomi sat down next to her. Riko looked at her. Doing her best to keep her voice even, she said, “I can’t do it. Not for that long. It’s always there in the back of my brain, just waiting for me to let my guard down. I can’t…”

“That’s not how the curse works.”

“Huh?” Riko blinked back pinprick tears. Nozomi continued.

“I’m not an expert, but I’ve done my research. Lycanthropy doesn’t work like that.”

“But-“

“Riko.” Nozomi grasped her hand. “It feeds on your insecurities. Your anxieties, anger, and self-hatred. All those negative thoughts. The curse manifests those outwardly. There isn’t a monster inside your body, trying to wrestle control away. You’re not sharing your consciousness with some wolf.”

Nozomi squeezed her hand tight. Her mother’s shaking hand rubbed her shoulder, trying to soothe them booth. “There’s no ‘it’, there’s just Riko Sakurauchi.”

She let Riko’s hand fall out of her grasp and stood, brushing off her skirts. “I know that doesn’t make it easier, it might make it harder. But there isn’t anything there that isn’t you.”

“Then…” Riko’s mind raced. She leveraged herself to a kneeling position. That didn’t make anything any better then. She was always anxious, she always had been. This whole time, everything had been her fault. All of it. Her voiced had stayed mostly steady before this. Now, it caught in her throat, breaking.

“Then what do I do?”

Nozomi helped her to her feet. Behind her, Riko saw the rest of Aqours, peeking at her with concern shining. Nozomi smiled, sadness tinged her scent.

“You just have to find a way to live with it.”

 

* * *

 

Riko stood with her back to them, staring out towards the ocean. Her mother watched her. Aqours milled uncertainly around. The train home had been a silent tomb of stress.

“Is there anything we can do?” Ruby asked, she fiddled with a bracelet. Chika shook her head.

“Not right now, I don’t think. We can talk to Nozomi and see if she has any advice, but I think Riko wants to be alone.”

You nodded, “Let’s go guys. We have to meet up for practice tomorrow anyways. We can talk then. Let’s give her space.”

Reluctantly, they headed to the bus stop. Chika turned to go back to her own house.

“Chika.”

Chika couldn’t say she’d ever had a real conversation with Riko’s mother. Her mother gazed at her, her hands twisted at her sides. Riko did that too, Chika realized.

“Can you talk to her?” Mrs. Sakurauchi glanced back towards her daughter. “I know I’m asking a lot of you, but she talks to you. She tells you things she never tells me.”

Chika forced down her surprise, surely that wasn’t the case? “I can try.”

Mrs. Sakurauchi’s shoulders relaxed. “Thank you, I don’t know where we – where Riko would be if you weren’t around. You know that right?”

Wasn’t it the other way around? Chika bowed slightly towards Riko’s mother and walked out to join Riko on the sand.

“Hey.”

Chika waited for Riko to respond, once it became clear Riko wouldn’t, she continued.

“Remember when you told me, here actually, that it was good I was finally letting my emotions out?” She steeled herself. “It’s okay if you do the same.”

“No offense Chika, but when you let your emotions out, you don’t turn into a monster.”

“Riko… you aren’t…” Chika sighed. “Fine. That’s true, I don’t. But if you bury them won’t it just be worse? Maybe if you just talk about it, it’ll bleed off a bit.”

She waved her hands frantically, “It doesn’t have to be to me! If you don’t want it to, that is. But you can, I’ll listen. It’s pretty much all I can do to help you. I promised after all.”

“I release you from that promise. You don’t have to help me, nobody can.” Riko sat down cross-legged. “There’s no point.”

“Yes, there is.” Chika sat down next to her. “I don’t know what’s going on, and maybe it won’t help with the werewolf thing. But maybe it’ll help you. That makes it worth it.”

“I’m sorry,” Riko whispered.

“Eh? What for?”

“For always making you do this. Taking care of me.”

“You do it for me, you did after that competition. And you write songs! Without you there wouldn’t be Aqours. Isn’t this the least I can do in return?” Chika nudged her head into Riko’s shoulder, “Plus, we’re friends. Who’s keeping score?”

Friends. Right. Frustration bubbled inside Riko. Her body was still fighting the after effects of the spell, otherwise she was sure she would have started shifting already. She was so tired. Chika’s head was so warm on her shoulder. There wasn’t any scent trace of her mother, she must have gone inside already.

“I’m gay.”

Was a weight supposed to lift off your chest when you said that? That’s certainly not how Riko felt. Instead Chika’s head seemed to be even heavier.

“Oh.” Chika didn’t move. She stared ahead, brain whirring. “Oh,” She repeated, louder.

“Is that what you’re so anxious about-“ Chika cut herself off. Riko was shaking. “Okay,” She whispered. Chika reached down for Riko’s hand and found it digging into the sand. She pulled it out and held it tight.

“Your mom doesn’t know.” It wasn’t a question. Riko shook her head.

“Nobody does.”

“I won’t tell.”

Chika sat up. One arm wrapped around Riko and pulled her closer. Riko’s breathing was erratic and stuttered. Chika rubbed small circles into her back until Riko stopped shaking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry it's been a while, I had a very busy couple of weeks. Life kinda caught up with me there.
> 
> So now Riko knows a little bit more about her curse! Which is good, even if she doesn't feel that way yet. This also means we've gotten out of a dark patch for a while, I promise the next couple chapters will be fun.


	11. Chapter 11

“Riko, wake up.” You was shaking her shoulder.

Riko hadn’t actually been asleep. She had never considered herself to be a good actor, but her act must have been convincing. She sat up and faked a yawn.

“Is it our stop yet?”

You shook her head, “I think we’re almost there though.”

The nine of them had been on this charter bus for hours. Riko had no idea where they were going for their “special training camp” as Mari had put it. She was pretty sure no one did. The scenery raced past them out the window. This place had to be even more rural than Uchiura – which was quite something.

“So, are you going to answer my question?” You raised a single eyebrow expectantly.

Riko rubbed the faint, lingering collar marks on the side of her neck. Everything had healed up within a few days, but the slight raised ridges still textured her neck and face. They were barely noticeable unless you knew they were there. You’s eyes flickered to the scars and then back to her face. If You had noticed Riko’s new nervous tic, she wasn’t going to say anything.

“Uh… I don’t remember what you asked.” Lies. Riko had hoped her fake sleeping routine would get You to drop the subject.

“You blew Chika off to sit with me. Are you guys fighting or something? You’ve been weird all week. Did she say something to you that night?”

“No! I told you, Chika’s fine. I’m fine. No fighting here.” That was true, they weren’t fighting. Poor Chika had no idea why Riko was avoiding her. In fact, Riko wasn’t sure Chika even knew she was. Chika was an idiot. That was the problem. Or maybe, it was Riko’s saving grace.

Somehow, Chika had not figured out that Riko liked her. Or maybe she had, Chika was pretty perceptive. She hadn’t said anything yet, though.  Riko didn’t know which was worse, Chika knowing and ignoring it, or not knowing at all. Either way, she was going to lie low a little bit. Let the gay thing become normal and just hope that Chika forgot about the confession.

She wasn’t about to tell You that. If only You would just let it go too. Instead, You raised her other eyebrow.

The bus pulled to a halt, saving Riko with a gasoline-tinged cough.

“Alright everyone, let’s go!” Mari drawled. They filed off the bus with their luggage and stared at the surprisingly large house in front of them. A dusty road stretched as far as Riko could see. There didn’t seem to be anything around but trees.

Dia clapped her hands, drawing everyone’s attention. She stood next to Chika and Mari.

“Before we get settled in, let’s go over why we’re here. The first reason is simple, can anyone guess?”

Ruby’s hand shot towards the sky, “Training for Love Live!”

“Yes! Exactly right! My little sister is so smart-“ Chika cut through Dia’s big sister routine.

“The song and lyrics are already done, so that means we need to work on costumes and choreography. We have some ideas, but we need to really push it if we want to go further. We’ll divide into two teams to work on those.”

“And secondly!” Mari leaned in with a shit-eating grin. Riko’s stomach dropped. “Obedience training!”

Chika elbowed Mari in the side. “Don’t be rude. But yes, we decided to do two things at once. This place is far enough from anything that we should be able to help Riko out with some stuff.”

Riko’s stomach rose again, now with a new queasy sensation. When had they decided on this? How? She couldn’t imagine Dia agreeing to this. As if reading her mind, Dia coughed.

“We talked extensively to Nozomi about ways to help you… get better at this. We’ve followed every possible precaution in designing this training menu, so don’t worry. This will help our group cohesion and hopefully allow us to avoid any incidents in the future.”

“She just wanted an excuse to talk to Nozomi more.” Whispered Mari with a wink.

“That’s not true!”

“Why didn’t you tell me this?” Chika avoided her eyes.

“Well… we didn’t think you’d go along with it if you knew. And well... you’ve kinda been avoiding me so I didn’t have a chance to tell you.”

_Shit._ She had noticed. Riko desperately searched for an explanation. There wasn’t one.

“Uh, why wouldn’t I have gone along with it?”

Mari’s eyes twinkled. Never a good sign.

“Glad you asked. Nozomi said that the best thing for you to do is to get more comfortable with your wolf form.”

“No.”

“Yes! We’re going to be here for two days. Starting from now, you’re going to spend the next 24 hours transformed. No changing back.”

“I’m not doing that.” She wasn’t. Absolutely not. This was a horrible idea.

“Really? Then you can’t come inside.”

“I’ll turn around and go home then…”

The bus was gone. Riko scanned the area, nothing in sight.

“You don’t even know where we are.”

“I’ll follow our scent trail back! I have the stamina, I can run!” Riko bluffed. If there were walking it would have worked, but a bus? Buses didn’t have distinct smells.

Mari gave her a skeptical glance.

“Fine! Dia, doesn’t this put Ruby in danger? This is way too risky…” Riko tried to appeal to Dia’s protective side.

“It’ll be fine as long as you don’t come near her. Plus, we did come prepared. Don’t worry, this muzzle is made of cloth, so it won’t hurt your mouth. You stay in control when you’re transformed, this is just to prevent any accidents.”

“I refuse, you can’t do this to me.” Her ears buzzed. Heat burned at the back of her eyes. Chika bit her lip, she was wavering. “It’s humiliating to wear that, and shifting hurts! It’s bad enough on full moons…”

“Nozomi said it wouldn’t hurt if you shifted willingly.” You leaned against the fence. Betrayal stabbed in Riko’s chest. You was part of this too? “The pain and discomfort come from your body fighting against it. If you choose to shift, it shouldn’t hurt.” She shrugged, ignoring Riko’s wounded expression.

Riko whirled around, hoping to find allies in the first years. They avoided her eyes. Kanan was her only hope left. Kanan looked at her watch. In an even tone she said, “The longer you wait, the later you have stay shifted tomorrow.”

Riko gritted her teeth. Kanan tilted her head as if to say, “What’s the big deal?”

All of it’s a big deal, Kanan. All of it. Damn, these humans really don’t under- Riko caught herself. Forcing herself to stay calm, she let out a resigned sigh.

“Riko, I promise we wouldn’t make you do this if we didn’t think it would help you. And if you really can’t do it, you can stop.” Chika pressed her hands together in a placating gesture. Riko’s gut twisted, they were just trying to help. Maybe she could give it a shot, for Chika. Just to make up for ignoring her earlier.

“…Fine.”

“Really?” Riko winced, Chika sounded so relieved.

“Yeah. I do trust you.” She hesitated, “Can I get some privacy though? I don’t want to ruin these clothes…”

“Oh! Right!”

Chika grabbed Yoshiko by the arm and forced her to turn around. The rest followed suit. Riko trudged into the woods, leaving her luggage behind.

 

* * *

 

Her clothes lay in a neat, folded pile on a tree root. Not that it would matter anyway, she would have to carry them back in her mouth. Hopefully she wouldn’t rip them. She’d never felt this vulnerable before, crouched out in the woods like an animal. Well, she guessed she could be considered one. Even though summer was in full swing, the shade and the breeze were too cold to be in without clothes. Better get this show on the road.

Riko had gone both ways before – but never from human-ish to wolf of her own accord. It had to be similar to when she changed back, picture the form you want to be in and focus. Her eyes screwed up in concentration. Wolf. Wolf. _Wolf._

“Are you done yet?” Yelled Chika.

“No! I’ve never done this before!”

Riko’s body was still stubbornly human-like.

“Also, if I was, how would I answer you?” Riko yelled back.

“I dunno, howl?”

Riko rolled her eyes. Typical. Maybe she was thinking about this all wrong. When she changed back to human, she thought of herself. Who she was, who – _what_ she liked. She thought of herself – a human (maybe, close enough) girl. Perhaps she had to do the same thing here.

But who was she as a wolf? It’s not like she had any real memories of it, and it’s not like she was anyone different when she was. Isn’t that what Nozomi said to her?

Oh. Of course.

Rather than think about _a_ wolf in an abstract sense. She just had to think of herself again, just in a different form. Okay. She could do this.

Riko shook out her hands and concentrated again.

She was Riko Sakurauchi. She liked piano and singing, and her friends, and family, and Chika… Anyway. She had anxiety, she was gay, she liked trashy romance novels. And sometimes she ran around on four paws covered in fur. The fur never made her feel overheated, and her senses were so good when she did.

The world sharpened.

Riko shook her head, ears perking up at the sound of the forest around her. There weren’t any animals nearby, they must have sensed a werewolf and fled.

Still, that had been the smoothest transformation she had ever done. In fact, she’d barely felt it happening. With surprise she noted that You was right. Her body didn’t ache, it didn’t even feel cramped. Maybe this wouldn’t be too bad.

Gingerly, she picked up her clothes and trotted out to meet the others.

Ruby yelped when she emerged. Understandable. Riko tried not to flinch and walked over to Chika, pushing her nose into her hand.

“Okay? Here, let me grab those.” Chika gently lifted the clothes from her mouth. “Sorry Riko, I’m going to put the muzzle on now.”

Riko’s ears flattened out and her tail snaked between her legs. She cursed mentally, she needed to get used to that, otherwise it would betray all her emotions immediately. Chika reached out and ruffled her ears, finger gliding down to scratch the base of it. _Wow._ Riko felt a jolt of lightning hit her. That felt _good._

Chika quickly slipped the muzzle over her snout. It could barely be called one, just two connected loops of fabric similar to a leash. If she wanted to she could probably rip through it, but it would be enough to stop her from snapping at someone if she got surprised.

Still, it was embarrassing. Riko sat down with a huff.

“That wasn’t so bad, right?”

Riko flicked an ear in response. Chika’s face creased in confusion, “Was that a reply?”

“Right! Let’s all head inside. We have a lot of work to do.” Dia picked up her suitcase with one hand and Riko’s with the other.

 

* * *

 

“Dia, Ruby, You, and Hanamaru are on costumes. Mari, Yoshiko, and Kanan are on choreography.” Chika read off her list. “If you have ideas for the other one though, feel free to switch around. It’s no big deal.”

“What about you?” Yoshiko accused, “You’re not doing anything!”

“I already wrote the song with Riko. I can’t sew or dance, so I’m working with Riko on werewolf stuff for today. Tomorrow we’ll both join our respective crews.”

“Oh, okay.” Yoshiko muttered sheepishly.

Riko froze up. This wasn’t going to be awkward at all. At least she couldn’t talk, her mouth couldn’t betray her if all if could do was howl.

“Ready? Let’s split!”

 

* * *

 

It turns out that Chika’s big plan was to do nothing. Okay, that wasn’t exactly fair. There wasn’t much they could do while Riko was like this. Chika hadn’t put it like that either, what she’d actually said, while lounging on the floor in the living room, was this;

“The goal is to make this form feel more natural to you. We aren’t going to do anything special, just live your life normally and get you used to moving around like this. Maybe try to associate some positive things with this.”

Chika had smiled brightly up at Riko. Riko snorted. How was this supposed to help? She flopped down on the floor anyway.

A light touch brushed against her ears. She flicked them to get rid of it.

“Ah sorry, was that uncomfortable? I should have asked.”

Riko shook her head. It wasn’t uncomfortable, just surprising. She hadn’t realized how sensitive her ears were in this form. Chika grinned and reached out again. Riko didn’t like dogs, she had never pet one or scratched its ears. If she had, then maybe she would have had some concept of what this felt like. But instead, it came as a complete surprise. 

Chika rubbed the base of Riko’s ears, scratching lightly with her fingernails. Riko’s whole body stiffened. _Shit._ Each movement sent waves of satisfaction. She leaned into Chika’s hand. Something thumped against her leg rhythmically, to her mortification it was her tail. Riko knew dogs wagged their tails when they were happy, she thought she had more control than that.

_Stop it._ Her tail joyously refused.

“Shiitake loves this too,” Chika giggled. Riko didn’t know how to feel about sharing something with Shiitake. Chika’s hands moved down to the corner of her jaw, ruffling her fur furiously.

“You’re so fluffy. Did you know that?”

_Yes._ She was the fluffiest.

Riko whined. Chika’s face split into a wide grin. She tackled Riko to the ground. Riko found herself on her back. Her tail swept across the ground in wide arcs as Chika tickled her belly. Dogs had it good. So good.

“Wow.”

Riko froze. You snickered in the doorway. Mari stood behind her, covering her mouth as she filmed the scene on her phone. Riko suddenly became aware where her crush was petting.

Oh _no._

“I never would have expected dignified, composed Riko would like belly scritches.” Mari drawled, laughter bubbling under the surface. You dissolved into laughter, folding in on herself.

Riko scrambled to her feet, pushing Chika to the floor with a hard thud.

“Ow.”

If canines could blush, Riko would have been flaming. Chika sat up giggling. _Traitor._ As if karma hear her, something came flying at Chika, hitting her in the face and knocking her down.

“If you are going to cause so much noise, do it outside!” A red-faced Dia appeared in the doorframe. Chika pushed herself upright, rubbing her cheek and holding the leash Dia had thrown at her.

 

* * *

 

“I don’t get why have to come too. I wasn’t doing anything.” You complained.

Chika shrugged. The three walked along the road in the direction of town. Dia told them to come back with groceries. Riko trotted next to You. The collar around her next jangled with each step. Humiliating.

She understood why, of course. They were probably going to run into people at some point, and that meant they had to convince them she was a dog. A really, _really,_ large dog. At least Chika had agreed not to attach the leash until they reached the store.

A collection of buildings appeared in the distance. Chika leaned down and hooked the leash on. She rested a hand on Riko’s head for a minute.

“Just bear with it for a little bit. This is good practice, you can get used to being around new people.”

It’s not like she was ever going to do this around new people though. She didn’t intend to be in this form any more than she had to. Especially not around people. What if she hurt someone by accident? At least her friends knew what they were getting into.

As if sensing her trepidation, square a kid ran up to them as soon as they stepped into the town. Riko stepped backwards. Anxiety coiled in her chest. If she ran off at full speed Chika would be sent flying. On one had she didn’t want to hurt her, on the other, running sounded really good right now. With a soft sigh, Riko chose to stand her ground. Chika smiled at the girl, “She doesn’t really like getting petted.”

“That’s not what we found out 15 minutes ago,” snarked You under her breath. Riko shot her a glare. You snickered. Chika dug her fingers into the fur on Riko’s head. Riko nodded. Chika’s fingers jerked in surprise.

“You sure?” She whispered. Riko nodded. Chika crouched down to let the kid get closer. “I’ll be here the whole time.”

If the girl thought the way Chika talked to “her dog” was weird, she didn’t say it. Then again, kids didn’t really care. The kid held out a sticky hand. Riko sniffed it and consented to one quick pet. She wasn’t going to crush a little kid’s hopes. The child giggled and ran her hand down Riko’s back. She tugged on Riko’s tail with a quick jerk. Riko yelped and whirled around, clenching her jaw to keep from snapping at her.

You shook her head, “Don’t pull on it, how would you like that?”

The kid stuck her hands behind her back, her shy embarrassment twisted in Riko’s nose.

“Sorry.” The little girl ran off, stopping and waving when she reached her mother.

“See, not so bad? I see the store over there.”

It actually hadn’t been. Well, the tail-pulling had been… weird. That hadn’t been a sensation Riko had ever really thought about.

The store was small, the door propped open as a fan buzzed in the background. The owner took one look out the window and shook his head.

“That’s not coming in here.”

“Uh…” Chika looked down at Riko, visibly torn. You pushed her forward.

“I’ll take Riko over to the tree over there. You get supplies.” Chika nodded and transferred the leash to You. She waved once and disappeared into the shop.

You strolled over to the tree and sat down. She appeared nonchalant to the casual observer. Just a nice girl out with her dog. To Riko, her scent told another story. A heavy scent – like hot pavement – hit her nose and collected on her tongue, sticky. Riko wasn’t familiar with this one, never a good sign.

“So Riko, let’s chat.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can't avoid things forever, Riko.   
> Long time no update! But I'm back with a fluffy chapter I've been looking forward to. I say that with every chapter though, they're all fun to write.   
> This one is only half of what I planned, but it just kinda stretched and got larger than I expected. Whoops. Look forward to next time! One-sided conversations! Shenanigans! Romantic progress? In this fic? It's a possibility!
> 
> See you, probably soon?


	12. Chapter 12

You leaned back, noting Riko’s terrified expression. Riko had never been that difficult to read. Enhanced senses or no enhanced senses, You was pretty good at telling what she was thinking.

“Calm down, I’m not gonna bite.” _Ooh, that might be insensitive._  If it was, Riko didn’t show it. You sighed, she only had a little bit before Chika came back.

“You’re avoiding Chika because you like her, right?”

Riko yelped, and shifted awkwardly. She threw her head back as if to say, _I have no idea what you’re talking about._

You rolled her eyes, “Oh come on, you’re really obvious.”

Riko shuffled her paws.

“Look, I understand why. Chika is… amazing. And I can imagine for you, she’s pretty much your lifeline.” You took a deep breath. “I was pretty rude to you at first. I still am, if I’m honest. Chika’s the only one who’s really been there for you.”

Riko looked away. You clenched her hands into the grass at her side. She just had to go for it. There was no way Riko didn’t know how she was feeling. You wondered briefly how this must smell to her. Her voice forced its way out in a hoarse whisper.

“I can see how you fell in love with her.”

Why was she doing this? You already knew the answer – she needed to.

“Chika doesn’t think anything of herself. I’m sure you’ve noticed by now. She doesn’t see herself as anything special.” You was speaking faster now, it all flowed out. Good. She couldn’t stop herself now. “It’s her big blind spot, she’ll never think that anyone could possibly think of her as anything other than normal.”

Riko rested her head on You’s knees. The touch of comfort made You’s breath hitch. Riko wasn’t denying anything anymore. You looked her straight in the eyes. You had noticed, that she could tell if Riko was in control by the eyes. When she was shifted, there was no trace of the terrifying yellow eyes that had been on that balcony that night. They were sweet amber and honey, very human.

If it was Riko it would be alright.

“You have to tell her that.” You lifted her hand to Riko’s ears and ruffled them.

“You have to tell her all the time how amazing she is. She doesn’t believe me when I do. But she’ll believe you.” Riko pushed herself upright until she was eye level. “It has to be you.”

You narrowed her eyes and pointed at her, “This does not make us friends.” _Too late now._ Riko rolled her eyes and butted her head into You’s side, knocking her over. That was a thank you. Sprawled on the ground, You started laughing.

“OOF.” Riko flopped on top of her.

The wind got knocked out of her, and with it went any resentment she might have had toward Riko.

“I’m sorry I was a jerk to you,” You whispered. Riko flicked an ear in response.

“What are you guys doing?” Chika’s head appeared in You’s field of vision. She dropped a bag of groceries next to You’s head.

“When you’re ready, help me carry this.”

 

* * *

 

 

“We’re back!”

Chika threw the groceries on the counter with a thud. Dia gave her an exasperated look.

“You’re going to damage everything.”

“Nah!” Chika pulled a carrot out of the bag and stuck it under the faucet. Dia’s eye twitched. Looking to vent her frustration somewhere, she turned to Riko.

“You shouldn’t be in the kitchen. Dirty paws.”

Riko huffed. _This is ridiculous._ She wasn’t about to get into an argument about this, though. Riko strongly believed in picking your battles. She dutifully turned and slinked out of the room. Behind her she heard Chika snap a retort to Dia.

She had Chika to fight the battles she didn’t pick.

Which brought her back to the start. You was right, she needed to actually talk to Chika about this. She would have to wait until after this weekend though.

“PIGYA!”

Riko hadn’t been watching where she was going. She looked up from the legs she had just run into – from one Kurosawa to the other.

“Oh, Riko. It’s just you…” Ruby’s voice trembled. She steadied herself against the wall. Dual scents of fear and determination fought each other all the way to Riko’s nose. Ruby was really trying, but she could barely look at Riko when she was in her human shape. The wolf shape was not going to be any better. Riko acknowledged her with a nod and moved on.

There wasn’t anything for her to do until dinner, the costume team had dissolved to cook. Maybe the choreography group was still up to something?

Riko pawed the door open. Nope. They were just laying on the ground. At the sound of the door creaking open they all sat bolt upright spluttering excuses. Riko pushed the door closed. She wandered back over to the living room and plopped on the ground. When was dinner again?

“How are you doing?” Riko jumped, tail snaking in-between her legs. Hanamaru looked at her in confusion. How had she snuck up on her? Relaxing, Riko shrugged. That was one movement that easily translated.

Hanamaru sat down next to Riko. She pulled out a book.

“Curry’s cooking. Should be ready soon.” Hanamaru flipped to her bookmark. Riko lay back down, Hanamaru leaned into her side.

“Gosh, you’re soft.” Hadn’t someone said that to earlier? Riko was glad she couldn’t blush at the memory.

The sun filtered in through the window and turned the floor into a checkerboard of warm spots. One hit Riko’s back perfectly.

She sighed and settled into the floor. She could stay like this for a while.

“DINNER’S READY!”

Or not.

 

* * *

 

“So… How are we going to do this?”

Chika looked awkwardly from Riko to the table. Riko narrowed her eyes. If they were expecting her to do something like eat dog food, then morals be damned – she’d eat all of them.

No, she wouldn’t, but maybe she’d tell them that.

“Can Riko eat human food like this?” Hanamaru questioned as she set the table, hesitating before finally putting down a ninth plate.

“Probably? Shiitake eats everything. She got into my bathroom trash yester-“

“Chika, no one wants to hear that.” You cut her off, “I think it’s fine if Riko changes back for dinner.”

“Nozomi said 24 hours!” Dia pulled out her timer, “It’s only been 4.”

“She _recommended_ 24 hours, she said it was whatever Riko was comfortable with” Chika retorted.

 _Oh, did she now?_ Well, Riko felt pretty much done. She was picking this battle.

People often forget how tall wolves actually are. The seem smaller than they are because they’re on all fours, but when they draw up to their full height…

Riko pulled herself up onto her hind legs, teetered for a moment, then rested her front paws directly on Dia’s shoulders. Riko looked her dead in the eyes. Dia’s jaw locked and her eyes widened in fear. They darted over to Chika desperately.

“Riko, that’s enough. You’re scaring her. You’ve made your point.” Chika yanked on the back of Riko’s muzzle, guiding her down onto all fours again. “If you want to change back you can, I told you that remember?”

Riko suddenly caught the stench of stale relief. A flush of shame rose in her body, her ears flattened. What was she doing? Maybe the transformation was affecting her more than she thought.

 

* * *

 

Riko slinked into the open seat, this time fully clothed and less hairy – and hopefully less aggressive. Kanan shoved a plate at her. Her stomach growled, she didn’t want  to appear too animalistic though – so while everyone else started shoveling food into their mouths, Riko took small, neat bites.

“Dia…” Dia looked up, there was rice stuck to her cheek. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.”

“No, you shouldn’t have. It’s… fine.” Dia said begrudgingly. Mari flashed her a thumbs up.

After that, Riko gave in and ate as much as she could.

At her third plate, Kanan finally commented. “You’re hungry today.”

Riko nodded, “Transforming takes a lot out of me. I need to eat more to keep up with the energy it takes.”

“Huh. Never thought of that.”

“Hmm.” Riko took another bite.

Finally satisfied, Aqours collectively leaned back into digestive slump. Dia checked her timer. Riko knew what that meant.

“I don’t want to shift again.” She looked at her hands. Dia opened her mouth, but Mari shook her head.

“Okay, you don’t have to. You did good.” Chika smiled at her, “Are you alright?”

“I… yes? I think.” She was. But still, something bothered her. Maybe she should say something.

“It’s still me, remember. When I’m transformed.”

She fidgeted in her chair. “So, can we maybe stop with the dog jokes? I’m not one. I mean! I know I’m not human either, but that’s what I’m closest to.”

Chika winced, “Sorry, we didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

Riko looked up in panic, “No! I know! It’s the same thing with the collars and muzzles, I understand why. It’s just, humiliating.”

“I think this was maybe too much too fast.” Mari leaned back in her chair. “None of us really know what we’re doing. We’re trying to help, but that means we’ll make mistakes too. We’ll be less insensitive.”

Riko stared at her lap, heat rose in her ears. “Thank you.”

“Actually this is great. We do need to start practicing with all of us. Riko needs to get fitted anyway. We were losing time with Riko transformed.” You reasoned. She winked at Riko and mouthed, _Now’s your chance._

Yeah right.

 

* * *

 

“Welcome to the costumes crew!”

You grinned at Riko from across the table. Fabric spilled all around them in the room. A small pile of finished outfits sat on a chair in the corner. Ruby picked up a strip of cloth and pinned it to another.

“Isn’t Hanamaru supposed to help out too?” Riko asked. She could use the buffer. Between You’s new goal, and Ruby’s extreme fear of her, she couldn’t see this going well.

“Yeah, but she’s cleaning up in the kitchen. We can get working without her.”

At least Riko was better at sewing than cooking. Not that it was a high bar to clear. She sighed and picked up the trim she was supposed to pin on. You would do the final stitching.

“So let’s talk about how you’re gonna confess to Chika.”

Ruby squeaked and stabbed herself with a pin. Sucking on her finger to stop the bleeding, she stared at Riko with wide eyes.

“Or we could talk about something else?”

“No, I don’t think so.”

Riko sighed. Her trim was crooked. She removed the first pin.

“Fine. I’m very glad you’re encouraging me, it means a lot. However, I already confessed to Chika.”

“WHAT!”

You dropped her sewing, then cursed as she bent under the table to retrieve it. Ruby pretended to busy herself with her part.

You resurfaced, “And?”

“Well, I don’t think she understood. Or maybe she doesn’t like me.” Riko pulled out another pin. “What if she doesn’t like girls? She didn’t say anything when I told her I was gay…”

“You told her that too and she still doesn’t?” You trailed off. She ran her fingers through her hair. “God damn it Chika you oblivious...”

You folded her hands and brought them to her chin. “Okay, I’m pretty sure Chika is into girls and you, I bet she just doesn’t think anyone could like her like that.”

Riko conceded that it was a possibility. You did know Chika very well.

“So here’s the plan. You dress up in a butler suit and pin her against the wall.”

“I _what?_ ”

“No, that’s too aggressive. Maybe go with shrine maiden costume?”

“It sounds like you’re just projecting your own interests.”

“What if you just tell her you’re interested in her romantically, and that you want to date her?”

At Ruby’s soft voice, both second years stopped.

“Yeah, that’s probably your best option,” You said sheepishly, rubbing the back of her neck.

Ruby gave Riko a small smile. She put down her sewing. Her arms pressed together, then pulled apart in their signature move.

“Just do your best!”

 

* * *

 

At lunch the next day, Riko sat next to Ruby. Or rather she tried too. Ruby perched on the opposite side of her seat from Riko. It was progress though, she was still technically in her chair. Close contact still seemed a little out of Ruby’s comfort zone.

Careful to keep their conversation hushed, Riko whispered near (relatively) Ruby’s ear. Ruby gave good advice, and Riko needed as much coaching on this as possible.

Dia dragged Riko to a private corner as soon as lunch was over.

“I thought I told you not to go near my sister.”

Riko blanched, “I thought you meant while is in my wolf form?”

Dia’s eyes narrowed, her aura was intimidating. Too bad Riko could smell her soft core. It smelled like forced responsibility and mint toothpaste.

“Frankly I’d rather you stay as far away as possible, but I understand that as members of the same group we need to have some degree of closeness.”

Did acting like this hurt Dia? She had steely resolve, but Riko could tell she was forcing herself a lot. There as a little ache in there, as if she wished she didn’t have to.

Riko threw her a bone, “Okay. I won’t do anything unnecessary.”

Dia’s facial muscles relaxed for a fraction of a second before snapping back.

“Perfect. Anyway, that’s not all I wanted to talk to you about. You utterly failed the assignment from Nozomi.”

Well. That was one way to put it.

“But, I must concede. This was an uncomfortable experience for you, and we may have forced you to do too much too quickly.”

Dia reached into her pocket and pulled out a sheet of paper. She unfolded it.

“I took the liberty of crafting a more conservative training schedule for you.”

She passed it over to Riko, for a brief moment their fingers touched. Then Riko took the note. At least Dia didn’t flinch away. She studied the note.

There was a list of little exercises to practice. Things such as timing her shifts, or transforming parts of her body and not the others. Everything was meticulously planned out with levels and thresholds of where Riko should work on once she met certain standards.

“If any of these turn out to not be feasible let me know. Once you finish with this we can figure out some new ones to work on.”

Riko blinked away tears, she swiped at her eyes. “Thank you, Dia. These all look really helpful.”

There was a tinge of pride in the air, followed by a warm scent that faded quickly. Stern Dia was back.

“Just as expected. Work hard and don’t come near my sister.”

Riko saluted and turned away. You was rubbing off on her.

 

* * *

 

Riko sat next to Chika on the way back. Or rather, You shoved her into the seat next to Chika.

Chika gave Riko a startled smile. Riko returned it nervously.

“So… how did it go? I’m sorry if it was too much.”

Riko shook her head. “It wasn’t.” Chika tilted her head, knowingly.

“Okay fine, it was just a little bit. But I think it worked the way you wanted it to. I figured out some things about transforming, and I think I did get a little more comfortable with it.”

Chika’s whole face lit up. Her smile shone with a relived warmth, “I’m so glad!” Clouds covered it again.

“I’m sorry though, we should have discussed it with you first.”

Riko wasn’t going to argue with that, “Yes. But it was sweet that you went so far for me.”

Chika shook her head, “A lot of people planned it together.”

Butterflies rose in Riko’s stomach straight up to her chest. Their wings tickled against her heart, making it pound.

“Maybe so, but you’ve been the driving factor in all of this.”

You had her headphone in, she sprawled in the seat next to her. Riko’s hearing was fantastic, and despite appearances no music was actually coming from You’s headphones.

 _Very sneaky._ She’d let her get away with it though.

Riko took a deep breath, “Chika, I really like you.”

“I like you too!” Came the cheery reply.

“Let me finish. I like you. Romantically.”

Chika looked confused.

“Me? That’s… definitely not true.”

“It is. I like you and I’d like to be your girlfriend, if you’d let me.”

Chika looked around to see if it was a joke. Everyone else seemed preoccupied. No one was filming her reaction. You appeared to be hyperfixated on her phone. The screen was off.

“That’s silly, someone like you? And me?” Chika pressed her hand to her forehead, “That’s just not…”

“I’m just so… boring?”

Riko shook her head furiously. “You’re not boring, or normal. Or anything else you call yourself. I promise that I really mean it.”

She reached out and wrapped her fingers around Chika’s hand.

“It’s only because of you that I was able to change.”

“That’s not true! It was all you!”

“But you were with me the whole time, without you I never would have had the courage to even try.”

Chika’s hand trembled in Riko’s. Riko gripped it tighter, to stabilize her. Chika looked from side to side, once again no one appeared to be listening.

“Are you sure you’re not mistaken?” Chika whispered, her voice hoarse and low.

“I know I’m not.”

Chika leaned fully into Riko’s side, head buried into her shoulder. Warmth spread on her shoulder, was Chika crying? The butterflies in her chest plunged down.

“I’d like to be your girlfriend too, if you’re sure about someone like me.” Chika whispered it into her shoulder. Riko’s ears twitched to pick up the barest trace of sound.

“I am.”

The butterflies in Riko’s stomach rose again, filling the back of her throat, tickling the roof of her mouth, brushing against her lips. She wanted to let them burst out and tell everyone. But she didn’t. Doing so would break this moment, so instead she held tight to Chika in the back of the charter bus.

In front of them sat Kanan, playing some trivia game on her still shattered phone. The seat in front of her held Dia and Mari, who were preoccupied arguing over some administrative issue. In the left row sat Yoshiko. She muttered as she played on her game system. Hanamaru looked on in amazement from the seat behind her. Ruby curled up in the front seat. The last finished costume lay folded next to her. Hopefully she wouldn’t roll over onto any pins.

Next to Chika and Riko’s relationship revelation was You. She let her own butterflies go in a long sigh. They could take any of her lingering feelings towards Chika with them. She tilted her phone, letting the reflective surface bring the image of the new couple into view.

Chika clasped Riko’s hand, head resting on her shoulder. Riko rested her own hear on top of Chika’s. A tiny smile lingered on Riko’s lips, letting a fang slip out ever so slightly.

You grinned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> According to my calculations, it took approximately 31,707 words Riko to finally clearly confess to Chika. Sorry for the wait, but don't say I didn't warn you with the slow burn tag!
> 
> Lot's of things had to come to a head in this chapter, but don't worry. There's still quite a bit of story left to go. But I have to say, it was really fun to write You again. She took a backseat in the more recent chapters. It was nice to get her back into it again. She truly does have everyone's best interests at heart. 
> 
> Sorry for the delay on this chapter. I've tried to do a weekly schedule, but with the end of the school year it turned into more of a every other week kind of deal. This chapter is almost a full week late after that... Sorry about that, now that finals are done and summer is starting, I should have way more time to write. I'll be back soon! And once again, thank you for everyone's kind words while I was gone. I read and treasure every comment, you guys are way too nice to me.


	13. Chapter 13

Chika leaned in to kiss her girlfriend. Her heart pounded in her ears. Were her palms sweaty? She rubbed them on her shirt.  _ Keep it subtle _ . Saliva collected in her mouth, she swallowed it. 

_ Gross, Chika. She’s gonna think you’re gross. _

Steeling her nerves, Chika screwed her eyes shut and moved towards Riko’s lips.

Shiitake snarled from the doorway. 

Chika found herself on the ground with Shiitake standing on top of her. Shiitake’s entire body pointed at high alert towards the balcony. Groaning, Chika shoved her stupid dog off her.

So much for kissing.

“Riko? Are you okay?”

Riko’s eyes peeked over the top of her balcony. She must have leaped over again.

“I’m fine.” Riko mumbled, eyes downcast and face flaming red.

Chika sighed and slumped over the balcony. Shiitake had stopped being afraid of Riko after the first few times she had come over, but Riko still hadn’t. While Riko still cowered at the sight of her, Shiitake had moved straight into aggressive protection. Any time Riko came over, Shiitake was there, standing watch.

It was getting really annoying.

“Do you want me to come over?”

Riko shook her head, “I should start on homework.”

The mood was dead and Shiitake killed it. Between Aqours, Riko’s mom, and Shiitake, it didn’t look like they were ever going to get a moment alone.

Riko’s bedroom door opened. There was her mom, right on cue.

Chika waved awkwardly as Riko sank down below the railing. 

Riko’s mother gave her a nod and closed the door.

Ugh.

 

//

 

Riko buried her face in her hands. She was a terrible girlfriend. If she couldn’t get Shiitake to like her, this was never going to work. How was she supposed to do that though? There wasn’t a werewolf’s guide to dating anywhere that she could look up. 

Riko chuckled. That would actually be pretty helpful. She could use a suggestion on how to make your girlfriend’s dog like you - or at least not treat you like a hostile threat. She just wanted to kiss Chika, not bite her face off.

Her mom definitely couldn’t help her with this. Years of trying had never gotten Riko to like dogs, and even though she liked Chika, Riko got the feeling she still wasn’t used to Riko dating a girl. 

Riko could smell her mom’s happiness for her, but there was a little fear and discomfort mixed in. She was worried, Riko could tell. 

Maybe Nozomi could help? Riko glanced at her phone, she had texted Nozomi a few times for advice. She was always helpful, but this seemed a little out of her speciality. Who else was there?

_ Oh. _

There was someone. A member who was logical, who was kind and understanding. Someone who had a lot of experience with people who were afraid of dogs.

Hanamaru knew everything.

 

* * *

 

Hanamaru did not know everything. But if there was something she didn’t know how to do, she knew how to look it up.

Which, she supposed, might actually be more valuable.

“Please Hanamaru, you have to know something about this right? I don’t know who else to ask,” echoed Riko’s voice from the phone. 

Hanamaru felt flattered that her upperclassmen would rely on her like this. A warm rush of pride welled up inside her, she shook her head to push it down. Riko needed her help, she couldn’t disappoint her.

“I’ll do some research, shall we meet up tomorrow?”

 

* * *

 

“Why are Yoshiko and Ruby here?”

Riko looked confused as they stood outside the school.

“Ruby wants to get over her fear too,” Ruby waved from behind Hanamaru. “And Yoshiko is the muscle.”

“Hey!”

Riko nodded, satisfied. 

“Okay, so where are we going?”

Hanamaru had plans. First, try to get Riko and Ruby more used to being around dogs. Get them a little less fearful in an environment where there would be no way they could get hurt. Exposure therapy apparently was a good way to do this.

“The pet shop!”

“Uhh…” 

“Don’t worry, the dogs will be in cages. There’s no way you can get hurt.”

Hanamaru smiled widely at Riko’s nervous face. Hopefully that would help her calm down.

“And… if anything gets out of hand… I, the fallen angel Yohane will protect you.”

“Yoshiko, I’m pretty sure Riko is a lot more capable than you are,” snarked Ruby. Riko blinked, she didn’t realize Ruby had that side to her.

“Yeah Yoshiko, you couldn’t open a bottle of water yesterday. Riko can pick up Ruby with one hand.”

“Hey! That’s because Riko is a werewolf, I’m a normal- I mean, I was conserving my demonic power.” Yoshiko struck a pose. 

Riko covered a smile with her hand, the first years got along pretty well, didn’t they?

* * *

 

“So, is it just dogs?” Hanamaru asked.

Riko nodded.

“What do you find scary about them?” Hanamaru pressed.

“How are you afraid of dogs? You’re way scarier than they are.” Yoshiko bent to inspect a lizard.

Riko ignored Yoshiko.

“Their teeth, their snout. The way their eyes look, and how they jump up on you.”

“You do realize that’s how you look too, and you jumped up on Dia.”

Riko ignored her again.

Hanamaru tilted her head thoughtfully. She nodded. This might work.

“Okay, let’s go to the dog aisle. There’s a sweet old dog that might help, she’s very low energy.”

Riko was willing to try anything.

As they approached the first cage, Yoshiko grabbed Ruby and ran ahead to the dog in question. Ruby flinched back, but when the dog simply looked at her and wagged her tail, Ruby moved a little closer.

When Riko stepped into the aisle, everything turned to chaos. All the dogs reacted. Some cowered in fear, others barked and thrashed inside the cages. Ruby yelped and fell backwards. True to her word, Yoshiko rushed to move between Ruby and the freaked out animals.

Hanamaru spun around to see Riko - eyes wide with fear - back up and dash away.

“Riko?”

She was already out the doors of the shop.

 

* * *

 

Riko sat scrunched up on a curb a few blocks away. Her hands covered her ears.

“There you are!” Hanamaru was more in shape now, but the frantic chase had still left her breathless. Ruby panted behind her. Yoshiko was trying (and failing) to hide the cramp in her side.

“Sorry for messing it up.”

Hanamaru shook her head and sat down on the curb next to her. Ruby and Yoshiko followed suit. 

“Animals don’t like me anymore. I think they can sense what I am.”

That made sense, Hanamaru supposed.

“Dogs are worse though. I’ve never liked them, but after I got bit...” Riko rubbed her shoulder. Hanamaru recognized it as a nervous tic she did sometimes, feeling a little guilty Hanamaru wondered if that was where the bite was. 

“I guess dogs just remind me of it.” Riko looked away.

Yoshiko looked down at her shoes, probably embarrassed that she’d teased Riko earlier. Hanamaru would talk to her later.

“I get so nervous around them, and it makes it worse. I mean, I can smell when people or animals are on edge. It freaks me out too, I’m sure for them it’s the same.” Riko sighed, “I bet it’s worse though, I’m sure werewolves are frightening to them too.”

A frightened animal is always more dangerous, Hanamaru remembered reading that. A frightened animal is always more likely to bite. She knew what werewolf bites did to humans, what did they do to animals? There weren’t any stories about that. Probably nothing then. Even still, a werewolf was unnatural. They were so much stronger than humans or regular wolves. Plus with the bloodlust Riko had described, no wonder animals are afraid of them.

Hanamaru kicked herself, she should have realized this. The incident might have set both Riko and Ruby back.

There was still plan B though. She rested a comforting hand on Riko’s shoulder, right where Riko had rubbed it earlier. Her suspicious were confirmed when she felt a bumpy curve through the thin fabric of Riko’s shirt. That had to be the bitemark. It burned uncomfortable hot through the material. Riko flinched, but Hanamaru didn’t. She was determined not to pull away.

“How about we try something else?”

 

* * *

 

“Okay, so plan A didn’t work. Plan B is to try a similar thing but on a slower scale. It’ll take some time…”

Riko spun around on Yoshiko’s desk chair. 

“I don’t have time! I need to get this figured out fast!”

Hanamaru gave her a look, “What do you mean you don’t have time? You can’t just get over this in a day.”

Riko wouldn’t meet her eyes.

Hanamaru pushed forward, “Is there something you aren’t telling me?”

Ruby sat up on Yoshiko’s bed, “Is this about Shiitake?”

“Shiitake?”

“Maybe…” Riko flushed.

Ruby leaped up, “Wait, did you and Chika?”

Yoshiko entered with a tray of tea. She set it down on the desk. Riko covered her face.

Ruby squeaked.

“Did you already confess? Or are you waiting until after Shiitake likes you?”

Riko looked as if she would be eternally grateful to the floor if it opened up and swallowed her.

“...for a week now.”

Ruby squealed excitedly. 

Ah, this explained everything. Hanamaru hid her surprise, no wonder Riko was pushing herself. How did Ruby know this though?

Yoshiko passed her a cup of tea, “What does Shiitake and Chika have to do with this?”

_ Oh Yoshiko.  _

“Nothing!”

Hanamaru sighed.

“So it’s not so much all dogs, but one dog in particular.”

Riko nodded. She glanced over at Yoshiko, “I have to do this. Shiitake is important to Chika. After everything she’s done for me, this is the least I can do. If I can’t get Shiitake to like me it’s not going to work.”

“What’s not going to work?”

Riko wasn’t exactly being subtle, Yoshiko was just oblivious. Still, it didn’t seem as if Riko wanted people to know yet, she filed that away for further use.

This was progress though. Perhaps it would be easier to figure out how to get one dog to like Riko. That’s not especially helpful to Ruby though…

Inspiration struck Hanamaru. She dove into her bag, pulling out books.

“I have an idea!”

“You do?”

She thumbed through a few texts until she found the one she was looking for.  _ Perfect. _

“In order for you to get along with dogs, they need to stop seeing you as a threat. We tried to get you used to them first, but they won’t calm down until they get used to you. So we’re gonna go the other way.”

Hanamaru spread the book out on the ground. The page read “Body Language”. 

“We’re going to train you to look the least threatening you can possibly be.”

 

* * *

 

Hanamaru’s temple had a lot more space, it was also much more secluded. The 4 gathered in the woods behind the temple.

“Here’s how it goes. Riko will go transform, then we’ll practice your body language.”

Riko nodded, this seemed like it could help. She wasn’t that good of an actor though.

“You can use the bathroom inside, I’ll open the door for you when you’re done.”

Riko padded through the halls. Before she closed the door, Hanamaru stopped her. 

“Maybe look in the mirror yet. Yoshiko may be a bit dumb, but she’s right. You do look like what you’re afraid of. Maybe that’ll help.”

The door clicked shut.

Riko sighed and stripped down. She checked her scar in the mirror. The full moon was only a week and a half away, the scar was starting to look pretty fresh. She ripped her eyes away and started shifting. 

Dia’s training schedule was pretty helpful. She’d only been practicing for a week, but Riko was already getting better at it. The time it took her to transform had already halved. Just the other day she had successfully shifted only her ear without anything else changing. The little bits of control were a comfort.

Riko stared into the mirror. Yoshiko had been right, wolves did have all the traits she feared. She sniffed at her reflection, watching as her nose twitched. She swung her head around to get a look at her teeth. 

The fangs were bad enough in her humanoid form. Here they were awful. This was definitely the part of her body she couldn’t get used to. They were huge and ugly. She hated the way they flashed when she smiled. Now her entire set of teeth were pointed. 

Still, this was what she was now. Now that she thought about it, she had never bitten anyone before - not even by accident. She’d never even put a hole in anything she’d picked up. 

She walked over to the door and whined until Hanamaru opened it. 

 

* * *

“Okay. So Ruby and Yoshiko will over there.” Hanamaru pointed towards one end of the clearing. “You and I will be on this side.” She placed her hand on Riko’s head. Hanamaru was so short she didn’t even need to bend.

“If you can get Ruby to stop being afraid of you, Shiitake will probably warm up to you too.”

She waved at Ruby and Yoshiko. Yoshiko gave her a thumbs up.

“Ready?”

Riko nodded, her ears flattening against her skull.

“Nope,” Hanamaru flipped open her book. “That’s a sign of fear and aggression. Perk your ears up.”

Riko did so. Hanamaru adjusted them with her fingers, “Up, not forward. Hold that position.”

“Stance loose.”

_ Stance loose. _

“Head up.”

_ Head up. _

“Mouth open, tongue out slightly.”

Riko did not like that one. Is that really non-threatening? Still, she complied.

“Tail down and relaxed.”

Hanamaru waited.

“Tail down, Riko.”

Riko tried.

“Down…” Hanamaru gently pushed Riko’s tail down. It popped up again.

“Riko…”

_ Sorry.  _ Riko whined in apology. There wasn’t anything to compare a tail to in her humanoid form, she still wasn’t sure how to control it. With some concentration she managed to drop it to the appropriate level. Hanamaru nodded with approval. She shut her book. 

“Okay, that should be good. Just walk over nice and relaxed. Maybe wag your tail a little bit?”

Riko carefully padded over.  _ Stay calm. _ She got about two feet away from Ruby and sat down. Her ears felt stiff, but she maintained position. Ruby screwed up her eyes and stepped forward. Yoshiko held her hand firmly. 

“Relax, it’s Riko. She’s not gonna bite or jump,” Yoshiko whispered. Riko nodded.

Hesitantly, Ruby reached out towards Riko’s heads. She paused, and with light fingers brushed the top of Riko’s head. 

No matter how many times someone did that, Riko still couldn’t shake how good it felt. Still, she bared down and didn’t react. Any sudden movements might shake Ruby.

“Wow…” Ruby breathed. “Your ears are so soft.” She stepped backwards and collapsed on the ground. Yoshiko helped her sit up. Riko looked from Ruby to Hanamaru nervously, had she done something? 

“That was really good you two. Do you want to take a break?”

Ruby forced herself to meet Riko’s eyes.

“I think we can keep going.”

Riko nodded. She thought so too.

 

* * *

“So Kanan, what do you think?”

The girl in question stirred her shaved ice, It had melted.

“I don’t know Chika, I’m not a dog trainer.”

Chika groaned and flopped onto the table. You patted her back.

“It’s sweet that you’re trying, but I don’t think there’s much you can do.”

“I know,” muttered Chika into the wood of the table. “But I feel like such a jerk, I can’t even keep my dog from scaring my girlfriend.”

“Shiitake is just trying to protect you,” reasoned Kanan. She sipped the melted ice.

“She doesn’t have to! Riko isn’t gonna hurt me.”

“I know, I know.”

You stole a spoon of Chika’s shaved ice. To her surprise the orange ice was actually mango flavored.

That was new.

She changed the subject.

“So, now that Chika has a girlfriend, we have an important question to answer.”

“We do?” Chika muttered.

“Oh?” Kanan leaned forward.

You crossed her arms wisely, “Does dating Riko make Chika a furry?”

“What?” Chika sat bolt upright in outrage.

“Good question,” nodded Kanan. 

“No it isn’t!”

“I think it depends,” said You, as she ignored Chika’s outraged exclamation. “If Chika is dating Riko because she’s a werewolf.”

“That’s very true,” said Kanan in a mock academic tone. “Chika, do you think Riko is hot as a wolf?”

“No!”

“Noted,” Kanan pretended to scribble in a journal. 

“See! I’m not-”

“Now, now Kanan. That’s enough evidence yet.”

“ _ Excuse _ me?”

“We need to determine if Chika  _ wants  _ to be a wolf.” 

“Definitely not!”

“So you wouldn’t let Riko bite you?” You was only half joking with this question.

Chika shook her head, “Someone needs to take care of her on full moons. Plus that would really hurt her.”

“Oh damn you’re already in it for the long haul.”

“Yes?”

“Okay, so that’s two points in the non-furry column. We still a full survey though.”

“For science,” added Kanan.

“For science,” agreed You.

“Oh wow! Look my phone is ringing! It’s my girlfriend!” Chika grasped onto the offer of salvation. What could Riko want with her? Kissing? She hoped it was kissing.

Whatever it was, it had to be better than this.

 

* * *

 

The three first years stood guard outside Chika’s room. 

“Are you sure about this?” Chika asked nervously. Riko nodded. Shiitake was already inside.

“Don’t worry! We’ve been practicing.”

Chika stuck her hands in her pockets and rocked on her heels.

“If you need me let me know.”

“It’ll be alright, I want to do this.” Riko kissed Chika on the cheek and stepped into the room.

Hanamaru slowly slid the door shut.

“You’re gonna be fine! Just remember your tail!”

Shiitake snarled at her. Her entire body snapped into alertness. If Chika wasn’t in the room, Shiitake wouldn’t lunge. She was still scared of Riko, it’s just that if Chika was around, her desire to protect her overcame that fear.

Riko honestly admired Shiitake for that.

All the more reason to earn her acceptance.

Riko already wanted to run, but Chika was standing outside. If she didn’t do this now…

She swallowed her fear and sat cross legged on the floor. Slowly she slipped off the bathrobe she was wearing and began to transform.

Shiitake whined at the sight. This had to freak her out, humans don’t transform into animals. Even with how weird Riko must smell to her, this was on another level. The dog backed up until she hit a wall.

Fully changed, Riko carefully positioned herself in a non-threatening stance. Her tail obeyed her for once with no resistance. Hopefully it would work. 

Shiitake approached her slowly, moving across the room at a glacial speed. She sniffed at Riko’s face.

Riko successfully avoided flinching. Shiitake smelled terrified, but then again she was sure she did as well. But nothing had gone wrong yet, had her peace offering worked?

Shiitake snorted and moved behind her.

_ Okay, we’re not doing that.  _ This was a line Riko was not going to cross. She twisted out of the way and sat down. Shiitake seemed to be relaxing. Time for phase two.

Chika opened the door.

Shiitake bristled. On the other hand, Riko suddenly lost control of her tail. It brushed back and forth on the floor.

Oddly enough, that seemed to comfort Shiitake just a little bit.

“You did so good!” Chika scratched Riko under the chin. Riko’s entire body vibrated with joy. That was apparently too much for Shiitake. She pushed past Riko, who squeaked, and forced her face into Chika’s hands.

“Okay, okay. You’re jealous.” Chika ruffled her fur. “You did good too.” 

Shiitake gave Riko a glance that could only be called ‘smug’. Riko accepted it though. Shiitake hadn’t chased her out of the room, and that was progress.

Chika gave Shiitake one last pat and gave her a gentle push out of the room. She looked back one more time and left with a huff. So maybe she wasn’t super happy with this yet, but it was a start. Riko was sure Shiitake was also entangled in the scent of happiness Chika emitted.

It’ll do for now.

“Riko, can you change back now?”

Of course she could. Chika rubbed the back of her neck, “I kinda want to kiss you, but I can’t until you turn back.”

So far Riko’s best time for a full transformation was 15 seconds. She left that record in the dust.

 

* * *

 

At the sight of Riko starting to transform back, Ruby leaned in and closed the door. She beckoned for the other two to follow her. They needed some privacy.

As the first years stood at the curb waiting for the bus, Ruby remembered the sensation of Riko’s fur. It wasn’t so bad. Riko was trying so hard, she would have to as well!

Yoshiko, who was staring out into space, came back to earth with a slap of hard reality. 

“Wait, are they dating?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep! It's the dog chapter. This is definitely way different that how it went in the anime, mostly because I thought it was necessary for Ruby to be there as well. It just kinda turned into a first year chapter. Not complaining, I love those kids.  
> With this chapter done, we enter our final arc. It's a bit of a two-fold thing, get ready! I estimate there are about 5 left - including an epilogue. Who knows though, it always takes longer than I expect.  
> See you soon!
> 
> Also! I wrote another chikariko oneshot, if you haven't checked it out, please do! It's called "one long farewell" and I'm pretty proud of it. Give it a shot if it seems up your alley.
> 
> One last thing, some people are making kofi's to raise money for ax. I'm going, and would people be opposed if I made one? You wouldn't have to donate! If you're going to ax let me know! I'd love to meet up with people.


	14. Chapter 14

One difference that struck Riko about Uchiura was the temperature. Here they were in early January, and unlike in Tokyo it hadn’t snowed once. It was amazing, she thought, what a difference moving just slightly south made. The only snow she had seen that winter had been in Hakodate.

Saint Snow had said a similar thing when they’d come to visit. The Love Live was about 2 months away, Riko was honestly surprised at how fast the year had gone. 2 months meant that it would almost be one year since…

Dia cleared her throat.

Snapping back to the club room, Riko realized that everyone was looking at her.

“Glad you’re joining us,” Dia sighed. “What’s your opinion on this important decision?”

“Sorry, I was distracted.” Riko ripped her hand away from the back of her neck, she really needed to break that habit. In response, Dia groaned. Chika - sensing a potential lecture - dived in to head her off.

“The unit carnival, remember?” 

It sounded slightly familiar. 

“Saint Snow invited us up to Hakodate for a competition, it’s usually for Hokkaido groups only - unless you’re invited by a Hokkaido group!” Chika passed Riko the flyer. Ah, she had seen this. Leah had given it to Ruby when they left. 

“It’ll cut into our practice time for Love Live…”

“True, but the times we can perform together are running out.” Dia gripped the edge of the table. Was that regret bubbling under her surface? 

“Let’s do it then.”

The girls sitting around the table nodded, it appeared they were all in agreement. Riko must have been the last one to sign off on it. A flush rose in her face, she was so distracted lately. Everyone was, the intense focus demanded in training was exhausting. If they wanted to win they needed it, but it meant that outside of practice they were all a little off. 

_ At least they only have to deal with one training session, _ Riko thought. She still couldn’t shake the bitterness that came with watching her friends go home to normal lives. She needed to break that habit too.

“So, there’s one catch…” Chika pushed a hat into the middle of the table.

 

* * *

 

Of course Riko would end up in the subunit - as they were calling it - with two of the weirdest members of Aqours. Though she had to admit her condition most likely made her weirdest of all. Chika had pressed her hands together apologetically as she left the room to meet with her group, she had it easy. You and Ruby were way better than-

“Our theme should be demonic,” Said Yoshiko.

“And sexy!” Agreed Mari.

This was going to be terrible.

 

* * *

 

They’d settled on Guilty Kiss. It was infinitely better than all their other ideas, but it was still very much Mari and Yoshiko’s idea. In contrast to the other two (sane) subunits, they’d agreed on a harder, more mature sound. It wasn’t as if Riko was  _ opposed  _ to the idea, but she certainly wished she could’ve swapped with You, random drawings be damned.

But Mari had pulled out these three names from the hat, so that was the end of that.

“ _ No, no, no!”  _ Mari said in English. “You have to be more  _ wild. _ ” 

Yoshiko struck a pose, “Free yourself Riri, don’t be shy.”

“Who the hell is Riri?” 

“You.”

Riko heaved a sigh and leaned into the mic stand. Songwriting had been going decently well. At least until Yoshiko had gotten bored and decided they needed to work on their poses.

“ _ Come on!  _ You don’t need to be uptight all the time! Let loose a bit.” Mari grinned and draped an arm around Riko’s shoulders. 

“I don’t get to ‘let loose’ and as the director of the school you shouldn’t be encouraging that.” Riko halfheartedly tried to shrug Mari’s arm off. It didn’t work.

“You sound like Dia,” Yoshiko rolled her eyes and joined the impromptu huddle session. “You’re always whining about your  _ burden _ and how terrible your  _ responsibility  _ is.”

Riko bristled. 

“If I was a werewolf I’d be transforming all the time! It’s cool!” 

Yoshiko was an idiot. 

“Wait! Costume idea!” Yoshiko brightened up. Spinning around for dramatic effect, she struck a pose. “What if you partially transformed? Get all fang-y, maybe a tail and ears? We could all dress up like demonic monsters. It would be so cool!”

Riko’s eye twitched. 

Mari, as if sensing Riko’s rising annoyance made a brave attempt to cool her down, “Now, now Riko. We all know that’s a bad idea-”

“It’s a  _ great  _ idea!”

“Shut up.” Riko hadn’t meant for it to come out as a snarl, but her annoyance forced the corners of her lips upward into one. Yoshiko flinched.

“Let’s get this straightened out if we’re going to be in a subunit together. I am not some prop for your fallen angel show. This isn’t like sticking on a horn headband, this is a physical and mental change.”

“Riko, calm down.”  Riko shook Mari off and took another step towards Yoshiko. 

“It’s not  _ cool _ , you don’t want to be like this. It’s not a superpower, it’s a curse. Curses are bad remember? I’d appreciate it if you stopped acting like this is some fun game for you to play-”

Mari punched Riko in the side of the face.

Staggering from surprise, Riko looked up to see that she’d somehow back Yoshiko into a literal corner across the room from where they’d started. The self-proclaimed fallen angel looked as if she was on the verge of tears.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to,” Riko had never heard Yoshiko’s voice so small. “I’m sorry.”

“Yoshi- Yohane, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have…” Riko scrambled, but her mind was blank.

“Okay you two, that’s enough.” Mari patted Yoshiko on the shoulder.

“Anyway, I think we can all agree we need to be more aware of how we treat each other. It needed to be said, and now Yoshiko knows it bothers you, right?”

Yoshiko nodded, eyes focused on the floor. Mari raised an eyebrow at Riko, “Your physical control is getting better, but you need to watch your outbursts too. We can’t talk to each other like that.”

Riko flushed. 

“Yoshiko is right though.”

“I am?”

“You’re very strict with yourself, I think it’s okay if you have some fun every once in a while.” Mari winked. She patted Yoshiko on the shoulder again. “Are you two free later tonight?”

Riko didn’t like the way Mari’s eyes gleamed at her.

 

* * *

 

“Yohane, wait!” Riko chased after the other girl. She had slipped away almost without anyone noticing. Almost. Riko had noticed Yoshiko’s dejected smell slipping down the hallway. She owed her an apology.

The other girl turned. When she saw who was chasing her, her eyes widened. She took of sprinting. 

Foolish, Riko was way faster than her.

Even with the head start, Yoshiko had nowhere to run after she reached her bus stop. Riko beat her there. 

“Look, please let me apologize.”

“You don’t have to.” Yoshiko muttered. Then, under her breath, “Stupid Yohane, always ruining everything.”

“I heard that.” Riko twitched her ears. 

Yoshiko smacked her hand to her forehead, leaving a pink splotch.

“You didn’t ruin everything. Yes, you can make me… uncomfortable.” Riko searched for words. “I did mean what I said, but I shouldn’t have said it that way. I let you carry on and then blew up at you instead of just letting you know early on that it bothered me. That wasn’t fair.”

“Oh.”

“And I really don’t mind your fallen angel thing,” Riko sighed. “I actually think it’s cool you get to have fun with yourself that way.”

“Really?” Yoshiko seemed to perk up a little. “You mean it?”

Actually she did. Riko nodded. 

“I promise I won’t try to drag you in anymore.” Yoshiko snapped back to dejection.

“It’s okay to drag me in, just not the-” Riko checked the area. “Just not the werewolf part.”

Yoshiko seemed satisfied with that. She gave Riko a broad smile.

Riko grinned a tiny fang-covering grin back in response. 

“What do you think Mari has planned for tonight?” Riko asked.

“More importantly, aren’t you going to miss your bus?”

 

* * *

 

When Mari had asked if they were free that night, Riko had no real expectations. And yet, Mari seemed to defy all of them. 

Mari called at 11:00 pm. The vibrations from her phone shoved Riko rudely from her slumber at her desk. She’d been sleeping better lately, less dreams. 

“Hello.”

“Come outside.” Mari hung up.

Carefully, as not to wake up Chika in the room across the gap, Riko peeked off her balcony. Parked on the street in front of her house, was Mari. In a convertible. Yoshiko peeked out from the backseat, eyes wide.

Mari honked the horn.

“Shhhhhhhh” Riko hissed from the balcony. She looked back towards her house, her parents were probably asleep. Her mom was a light sleeper, her hearing rivaled Riko’s at night. Any little noise seemed to awaken her. Time for plan b - not that there was ever a plan a in the first place.

With a sharp inhale, Riko jumped off the balcony. Yoshiko yelped. Riko hit the ground with a snap and a forward roll to finally rest flat on her back. The throbbing pain in her ankle told her she had broken something. She stared up at the sky, winded. Slowly her ankle knit back together. This was not her best moment.

“You good?” Mari hopped out of her car to stare down in amusement. Riko nodded, then took Mari’s outstretched hand. Her ankle was a little wobbly, but each step proved more stable.

As Riko settled in the passenger seat, Yoshiko spoke up. 

“You could have slid down Chika’s drainpipe. That’s how You gets up there.”

How many times had Riko stared out at Chika’s house? Apparently not enough to notice there was a drainpipe next to the balcony. Oops.

“Where are we going?” Riko casually moved the conversation away.

“Nowhere, we’re just driving.” Mari steered the vehicle onto the seaside road. 

“That’s it? It’s almost midnight!” Riko stared at Mari, aghast. 

“So?”

They were beginning to pick up speed. Although it was much warmer than Tokyo, the late night January air felt worse with the increasing acceleration. Yoshiko shivered. Luckily for Riko, her condition meant she ran hot. She barely felt the sting. 

The ocean sparked out beside them, Mari’s headlights marking the path ahead. Riko didn’t have much faith in her driving ability, but the car ran smoothly. It hummed as it hugged each turn.

“I’ve been practicing.”

Faster, the car soared down the long road. There didn’t seem to be anything in sight beyond ocean and sea wall. Riko’s eyes glowed in the darkness, casting a faint light on the windshield. 

“Can you turn your eyes off? They’re distracting.”

“What?” Did Mari mean close them? She asked.

“No, they literally glow in the dark.”

“They  _ do _ ?” Riko looked back at Yoshiko, who nodded.

“It’s kinda cool - did you not know?” 

Riko shook her head. “I don’t usually look in the mirror in the dark, and no one’s ever told me before.”

“I wish my eyes glowed in the-” Yoshiko stopped. She was watching herself, trying not to be insensitive. 

“If you can’t, that’s fine. I’ll just wear sunglasses!” 

Riko lunged for the glasses and tossed them in the backseat.

“You’re  _ driving _ . In the  _ dark _ . With  _ passengers _ !”

“Oh, true.”

“If you crash I’m saving Yoshiko and leaving you to die.”

“That’s fair.”

They whipped around another curve, hitting a bump and sailing for a bit. Yoshiko laughed in the backseat, holding her hands up as if this was a rollercoaster. Throwing her head back for a moment, Mari whooped in joy. Riko clawed at the side of the car. That was going to leave a mark. Riko focused until her claws turned back into fingernails. 

“Why are you like  _ this _ ?” Riko shouted. When Mari didn’t reply at first, Riko thought the wind may have whipped her words back down the road behind them.

“What do you mean?” Unreadable as always.

“So  _ weird! _ ” 

Mari chuckled. 

“I’ve always been weird.” Her fingers tightened around the steering wheel. “Just not in the way you think.” Her eyes remained fixed on the road. A liquid glint, was that sweat on Mari’s face? The wind blew it away before Riko could be sure.

“I’ve always been the odd one out, moving from country to country. Never quite ‘getting’ the local culture. I’m always too foreign, always too weird.”

Mari’s blonde hair caught a streetlight. The brief flash of golden light tracing up her nose. 

“At some point I decided, if I nothing was going to accept me no matter how hard I tried, that I should just be me with no limits,” Mari’s voice held no trace of her usual drawl. “And if one of the places I landed at was fine with that, then I’d grab on and hold it tight.”

Yoshiko said nothing in the backseat, her silence a chasm.

“But beyond everything, I promised myself I’d never let anyone see how much it bothered me.”

The road ahead straightened, transforming from dark snake to moonlit ruler. A whiff of something hit Riko’s nose. For once, the scent was not Mari’s perfume. There was a tinge of wild, dark fear - sweat. 

Cruise control kicked in, setting them on a smooth, fast pace. The dashboard clock hit 11:30. That brief smell carried everything Riko needed to know right past Mari’s unreadable exterior. Fear, yes. Trepidation, check. A little relief, present. Stubbornness, an undertone. A tiny dash of hurt.

Riko had never smelled herself. No one really knows what they smell like, we are all self-blind. Our houses smell like home, our bodies do as well. But every once and awhile, Riko got a dash of her own scent. Traces on the armpits of dirty shirts, or old socks. Mari smelled like her.

Keeping the corner of her eye on the road ahead, Mari turned in practiced laziness. She gave Riko a reassuring glance. 

“Want to give it a shot?”

Maybe she did. Maybe sometimes Riko did want to just give up and have fun. No limits. There was that jealousy all the time. Her envy towards Mari, and Yoshiko, and Chika, and- and all of them really. Not Dia, actually. But yes, Dia. All of them, how all of them got to work out their insecurities and then be in a place that let them be them. And no matter what she did, Riko would never be a part of that. She would always be stuck managing this lifelong condition - who was she kidding. She’d call it what it was.

Riko would always be a werewolf. 

“You want to hear a secret?”

Mari’s drawl was back, tugging Riko out of her thoughts and making Yoshiko lean in with eyes shining.

“I rigged the drawing. I peeked when I pulled the names out."

A few hours ago Riko would have been furious, she’d have run off to Chika and made them redraw it. But now Riko just sighed, “Of course you did.”

The moon dangled above them in suspension. The fullness of it revealed that it would be another few weeks to the full moon. Riko felt like she was always a few weeks from the full moon, and she guessed she was. 

Riko unbuckled her seatbelt.

“Hey, when I said give it a shot, I didn’t mean be stupid.” 

“Don’t worry, my balance is great.”

Riko stood up, one foot on the dashboard, the other on the seat. Her body moved for her, making adjustments with the sway of the car. Mari gritted her teeth, “If you fall out I’m not coming back for you.”

“I won’t fall.”

Riko twisted her body, Yoshiko looked up in her in awe. Maybe this body was as cool as Yoshiko always said it was. The car hit a bump, Riko’s knees bent and rode it. Relaxing slightly, Mari started to slow the car. 

“I’ll have you two back before midnight, just have to find a place to turn around.”

Yoshiko whined. Riko didn’t want to go back either. The moon sparkled in its pinhole place. 

Riko had always kind of wanted to do it, but she’d always been too embarrassed. But now was as good a time as any, maybe better than most. 

Throwing her head back, Riko howled. Her vocal chords seemed to occupy some space in-between, allowing for various canine sounds even at her most human. This was a full-on wolf howl, piercing and loud. 

Mari burst into laughter, “What was that?”

“I don’t know, I just felt like it.”

Still laughing, Mari followed suit. Much more human, but still loud. She had quite the pair of lungs. As Mari inhaled to do it again, Yoshiko let out one of her own. 

Riko joined in, forming a chorus. 

Guilty Kiss, huh? 

Maybe this would be fun.

 

* * *

 

“Are you three  _ insane _ ?”

Dia looked as if she was about to burst a blood vessel. Mari spun around in her directors chair. The new day had come with a shower and a new layer of perfume, Mari was back to unreadable chaos. Riko had wondered why she’d been called to the office, then again when she was Dia and Yoshiko also there.

The student council president whipped out an article. There was a blurry photograph of what looked to be someone standing on a car.

Oh.

_ Oh. _

Her breath caught in her throat. Someone had seen them.

“This has to be you, right? There were multiple reports of a speeding convertible, with someone  _ standing  _ on it,  _ howling. _ ”

“It’s joke?”

“Shut up. I’m going to ask you three again. Are you insane?”

Riko and Yoshiko exchanged glances. Riko fought and lost the urge to rub the scars at the back of her neck.

“What part of laying low do you not understand?” 

Mari shrugged. Dia spun around spitting, “Riko! I expected more from you. Do you want to get caught?”   
“N-not really.” Riko raised her hands defensively.

“Not really? Well you seem to be pretty bad at it. At the rate you’re going everyone in Uchiura is going to know  _ what  _ you are in a matter of weeks!” Dia took a step forward, Riko took a step back. Panic tugged at Riko’s lungs. She wheezed.

“You three are lucky it was dark and no one was able to see the license plate, or your faces.”

“Dia, calm down.” Mari rolled her eyes. 

“No!” Riko and Yoshiko flinched. “I will not  _ calm down _ I am trying my best to keep everyone safe and you’re out there encouraging this kind of behavior?”

“No one asked you to keep everyone safe.”

“Well  _ you  _ aren’t doing anything  _ director _ .” 

Dia’s voice rose with each syllable. Mari shrugged, if Riko didn’t know better she would think Mari was having fun with this.

Panic squeezed at Riko’s lungs again, kicking her oxygen out. She bent over coughing. Yoshiko hovered over Riko, unsure if she should touch.

“Riko are you okay?” Mari shoved Dia’s words aside, looking at the other girl.

Riko’s vision swam. Everything was fuzzy, no that was wrong. Her hand was fuzzy. A fang slipped out.

No,  _ no,  _ **_no._ ** She’d been so good about this. She hadn’t lost control of her transformation like this in months. A fang slipped out.

Not at school. No. Chika wasn’t here, she should find her. No. That would be bad, she was getting too dependent. She needed to be somewhere safe.

Figures closed in on her. Her brain flashed back to Tokyo, to that foggy night. 

“Riko, breathe. Just like we practiced. It’s not that bad, no one knows it’s you.”

She was so stupid. Let loose? One night and this happened. 

Riko clapped her clawed hands to her mouth. Her yellowing eyes glanced from the unrecognizable people to the door. 

The girl ran.

 

* * *

 

“Shit!” Mari leaped from her chair. “Yoshiko, go back to your classroom. Grab Chika on the way if you see her.”

Yoshiko nodded and took off.

“Dia, go after her.” 

Dia hesitated, “Are you sure.”

“Yes! I need to make an announcement, tell people to stay in their classrooms. I’ll make something up.”

Dia nodded and made her way over to the door. 

“Dia,  _ go! _ ”

She did, stumbling as she rounded a corner. She slammed into someone.

Kanan. 

“I just ran into Yoshiko, I’ll help.” Dia nodded.

“Check the first floor! Bathrooms, clubroom. I’ll check by the second year classrooms, maybe she tried to get to Chika.”

Kanan split, running downstairs. The bathroom was empty, so was the gym. In the corner of her vision, she caught a glimpse of a flash of reddish-brown in the clubroom. There she was. Kanan fired off a quick group message, then slid open the door with a gentle touch.

“Riko?”

There she was, in the corner under the table. Riko’s uniform was loose enough that it still clung to her wolf body. A few split seams were the worst of the damage. 

“Hey there, it’s okay.”

The loudspeaker went off. Kanan ignored the white noise. She took a few slow steps towards Riko. The wolf backed up, she hit the wall. Her ears lay flat against her head. The whites of her eyes rolled wildly. Lips pulled up in whine, showing off all the sharp teeth.

“It’s me, Kanan. No one’s mad at you.” She took another step forward, then dropped into a crouch.  She extended a hand.

Kanan should have known better, she’d dealt with animals before. But this wasn’t an animal, this was Riko. Her mistake. An animal backed into a corner is dangerous. A scared animal bites. 

_ Snap. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait everyone, I've been working on a very cool project that you guys should see soon!  
> Not much Chika or chikariko in this chapter, but in return everything else happened so much. With this chapter we enter the first half of our final 'arc', the Hakodate Unit Carnival. I promise I'll stick it out to the end.


	15. Chapter 15

Dia got Kanan’s message just before the loudspeaker went off, Mari’s voice echoing through the halls in all it’s fake cheer-y glory. Not that anyone who didn’t know Mari could tell she was anything less than calm and collected as she warned the school about the “stray dog” that was wandering around the campus.

She supposed it was a decent excuse.

What Dia expected waiting for her in the clubroom was an apologetic Riko. One who would apologize profusely for losing control, who Dia would put on a fierce face and scold, only to build up again.

She was half right.

Instead, when Dia opened the door, she saw this.

An apologetic, human Riko looked up at the sound of the door opening, eyes wide, tears streaming down her face to mingle with the streak of blood at the corner of her lips. Uniform sleeves dangling at the shoulder where the seams had split. Hands putting pressure on Kanan’s very red and very sticky arm. Kanan doubled over in pain, hand clapped to her mouth.

Dia shrieked, of course. Only for a second though.

“Dia, I’m sorry.” Riko’s words cut through like broken shards, each syllable stuttered and punctuated with sobs. “I bit her - I don’t know what to do - I bit -”

“Holy _Fuck_.” The English sounded so foreign, even more than usual. When had Mari arrived behind her?

Mari pushed past, skidding on her knees over to where Kanan was. She gently pried open Riko’s hands, replacing them with her own. Riko resisted.

“Riko, I’ll handle this. Dia, take her to get cleaned up.”

Dia moved as if through mud. She’d always prided herself on her crisis management. Maybe she should stop that. She tore her eyes away from Kanan’s arm. Mari nodded at her, “It’s not too deep, I’ll call the nurse and get her to hospital. Do damage control.” She jerked her head towards Riko, “She cannot be here for that, understand?”

Dia did.

She held back a flinch as she gripped Riko’s shoulders and helped her to her feet. Dia was no good at comfort, so she said nothing as she led the other girl to the bathroom.

Riko didn’t seem to be fully aware of where she was. She shivered as Dia guided her hands to the sink to wash them. There was less blood than Dia thought there was, she tried not to think of where it came from.

Dia stepped away for a brief second to message Chika.

_Student council room. Bring Riko’s gym clothes._

Then to Mari, a plan.

Riko emitted a strangled sound.

As if she had suddenly snapped back to clarity, Riko turned and ran into a stall, leaving the door slamming against the lock. Any and all contents of her stomach promptly vacated her body. As Riko continued to heave, Dia carefully pulled her soft, red hair back.

How many times had Dia done this for Ruby? So many. Every time she’d had the flu, or food poisoning, and that one time Ruby had eaten a box of whiskey filled chocolates thinking they were fruit syrup. She still wasn’t sure how that last one had happened.

All the usual comforts slipped out of Dia’s mouth, drawn out by red hair and responsibility. When it became clear nothing else was going to come up, Dia left the stall to moisten her handkerchief in the sink. She returned to press it against the back of the younger girl’s neck.

“It’s okay…”

“It’s not,” Riko groaned, still staring into the porcelain bowl. Dia had to agree with that. “I bit her, oh god I bit her-”

“I know.” Dia spoke before Riko could work herself up again. She reached up and flushed the toilet. She hoisted Riko upright again, “Let’s get you cleaned up first.”

“Rinse.” Riko did.

“Spit.”

Her face was a mess. Dia looked around, there wasn’t anything sturdier than paper towels. It would have to do.

“Start washing your face.” Leaving Riko to her simple task, Dia retrieved her supplies. Returning to a sluggish girl, Dia turned her around and scrubbed at her face. Slowly, the normal Riko returned.

“Are you ready?”

Riko nodded.

 

* * *

 

 

To Dia’s surprise, Chika was already in the student council room. So was Mari. They must’ve been longer in the bathroom than she thought. Dia deposited Riko in a chair, where she immediately folded in on herself.

“The nurse bandaged up Kanan and took her to the emergency room. It wasn’t that deep of a bite. Riko must’ve let go as soon as she noticed who it was.” Mari informed Dia. Chika sighed in relief.

“I didn’t recognize her, that’s why… I would never have…”

“We know,” Chika knelt down and grabbed Riko’s trembling hands, pulling them up to eye level.

Riko’s sleeve finally detached from her uniform and slid down her arm.

Dia exchanged a glance with Mari. The other girl acknowledged it, “Chika, can you?”

Chika inhaled sharply, “Give me a second okay?” She returned her attention to her girlfriend. Perhaps it was unfair of them to ask Chika to do this, but she was their highest chance of success.

“Riko, I know it’s hard, and you’ve never wanted to talk about it…” Chika looked over her shoulder at Dia. “But for Kanan’s sake, we need to know what happened when you first got bit.” Chika squeezed her hands, transferring warmth. “We can go slow.”

Her tone was so gentle, even in this situation. Chika seemed to always know what to say and how to say it, Dia was lousy at that. That’s the leader for you, the difference between them.

For a moment, Riko rocked back and forth on her chair, as if leaning on a precipice. Then,

“I was walking home from practice. I stopped to get food from a convenience store.” The words came like melting ice, at first halting and unsure, then a rush.

“It was night, a- a full moon. I didn’t notice at the time, but we checked later - when we were trying to figure out what I was.”

Beside her Mari flipped open her monthly calendar, searching for a moon phase.

“Something came up behind me, so - so fast. And bit me, on the shoulder.” Eyes glazed over, Riko reached up and pulled down her uniform collar. Her hands shook.

Dia sucked in her breath, she’d never seen the scar before, Riko had always kept it covered. Even though she knew it had to be there, Dia had never thought about it before. The sight of it gave her shivers.

“You’re doing so good.” Chika stroked the back of Riko’s hands. Her voice wavered a bit. Riko inhaled, shuddering.

“It healed so fast.”

“How long?”

“The - the next day. It was normal when the hospital checked it out. But it was so hot, it burned. And when I went to change the bandages the next night, it was like it is now.”

Riko clenched her hands, Chika flinched as they closed on her own.

“The whole month, it was like I had a fever. And then - the full moon came and I - I-” Riko’s breathing hissed erratically in her throat, her eyes filled with tears. Caught in memories, Riko shook. “It was a weekend, if it hadn’t been I would have been at school - or practice.”

“That’s enough, you don’t need to go any further than that.” Chika pried open Riko’s hands. She stared fiercely at Dia, “That is enough, right?”

Dia nodded. She picked up the pile of gym clothes Chika must have brought, “Riko, why don’t you go change?”

 

* * *

 

 

Inside the student council room, the three discussed in hushed tones. Chika, defensive but worried. Kanan was her friend too. _Messed up_ didn’t begin to cover the damage Riko had done.

“Hey.” You shoved a canned coffee into Riko’s cheek. She sat down next to her on the ground.

Riko didn’t respond. You placed the can beside her.

“They’re gonna have Chika take you home early. She left her stuff in the classroom, which is why I’m here.”

Riko flicked an ear in acknowledgment. You fidgeted.

“I’m gonna chill with you a bit, okay?”

She pulled out her phone and shot off a message. They were talking about her, Riko could read the screen from the corner of her eye.

“They don’t want to leave me alone, huh?” Riko’s words were hoarse.

You scratched at her cheek guiltily, “Ah, you saw that. Yeah…”

“Makes sense, they don’t want me to bite anyone else.”   

“That’s not what they’re worried about.” You seemed to want to say more, instead she settled with playing with the can. That sickly sweet smell of worry was overpowering.

After awhile of listening to the hushed voices, You spoke.

“Do you remember what our deal was?” She overturned the words in her mouth, choosing them carefully. “When it was just us in Aqours, before we even had a name.”

Riko’s ears swiveled, it was the only outward sign of her listening.

“I said that as long as you didn’t hurt anyone, I would treat you like normal.”

Riko sat up in panic - but before she could say anything, You pressed her finger to her lips.

“So you forgot huh?”

Riko shook her head furiously, but You just shrugged.

“It’s alright, don’t worry about it. I thought you might be stressed about it.” You picked up the canned coffee and nudged Riko’s shoulder with it. “I don’t want things to change between us, I know you. I know you didn’t mean to hurt Kanan - and that you didn’t want to.”

Riko took the coffee.

You leaned against the wall, eyes closed. “We all know that, I don’t think anyone is mad at you. Scared maybe, we just don’t know what the consequences of this are going to be.” Her right hand ran through her bangs, pushing them back, “You’re going to have to deal with those, we all are. Things are going to be different.”

“I know.” Riko’s voice was small, almost a whisper. You opened her eyes. With a gentle touch, she reached over and rested her hand on Riko’s head.

“Yeah.”

The door swung open, You looked up at Chika.

“Ready to take over?”

 

* * *

 

 

Chika could be a very talkative girlfriend. She was always adept at talking Riko down or cheering her up. On the bus ride home she said nothing.

  


Riko wasn’t sure if she was her girlfriend anymore.

 

* * *

 

 

Chika walked Riko to the door.

“Mari called your mom.”

“Oh.”

  


“We’ll keep you updated on Kanan.”

“Thank you.”

  


“Riko?”

“Yes?”

“No one’s given up on you yet.”

  


“Okay.”

 

* * *

 

 

Riko spent the next few days in bed. Her phone lost its charge. She didn’t plug it in.

Her mother left meals at the door, but came short of knocking on it. Riko avoided her.

If she never left her room again the world would be at a net positive.

She heard Chika call from across her balcony. At first, a simple “Riko, you there?”

It was her only clue that school was over for the day.

A few minutes later, “Check your phone!”

Half an hour after, “Riko, I know you’re there!”

She ignored it.

Another half an hour after that someone knocked on her door. And kept knocking. Finally Riko shouted, “Go away Chika!”

“It’s not Chika.”

Riko sat bolt upright in bed. She scrambled to the door, kicking aside covers that had tangled around her. She threw open the door only to find Kanan standing there with her arm in a sling.

Riko was suddenly aware that she was wearing her pajamas and had not brushed her teeth in over 24 hours.

“I’m coming in.” Kanan pushed past her and took a seat at Riko’s table. Dumbfounded, Riko could only stare at her.

“I texted you to tell you I was coming.” Kanan held up her phone to show Riko the texts. That screen was still shattered, how could Kanan read anything on that.

“S-sorry, ran out of charge.”

Rolling her eyes, Kanan stood up. She made her way over to the dresser and plugged Riko’s phone in. “Problem solved.”

Kanan sat back down. “Chika filled me in. My arm didn’t heal fast like you did, the bite mark is still there.” Riko flinched. Kanan kept her steady gaze, “It was shallow, so it should heal quickly with minimal scarring.”

“Kanan, I’m so-”

“I know, let’s move on.” Kanan shifted her arm a bit in the sling. “It wasn’t a full moon either, so you probably didn’t infect me.”

Riko collapsed in relief. Kanan held up a hand, “That being said we don’t know for sure. Nozomi said the legends are unclear. She did a lot of research, in some cases any bite is contagious, in others it’s just the full moon. We don’t know what’s true.”

In response, Riko’s shoulders stiffened. Of course, it was way too good to be true.

“Nozomi thinks the full moon condition is a sign of the curse weakening over time, the stories of transforming every night are a lot older. But she says it depends on how many generations it’s been before you were bit, it’s possible that the curse can still be passed on regardless of the full moon - even if you aren’t forced to transform.”

“T-that makes sense.”

Kanan nodded, “So on the next full moon we’re going to quarantine me and see what happens.” She frowned, “If you bothered to read your messages you would know all of this. You don’t get to disappear off the map, take some responsibility.”

Riko looked away, Kanan was right. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine.” The other girl leaned forward to rest her good arm on the table. “I’m sure it sucked for you too.”

Riko sniffed, she wasn’t sure if she was allowed to agree.

“People are worried about you too, make sure you check in with them.”

“I will.”

Something about Kanan just screamed ‘responsible’ - even more so than Dia. Maybe it was because Dia was - relatively speaking - kind of a loser. Or maybe it was because she could smell a certain hardness in Kanan. It was steely.

Kanan shrugged, then flinched. She rubbed her bad arm. Even if Kanan was putting on a face, she always smelled exactly the way she presented. She committed 100% to any decision she made, Riko respected that.

“I don’t know how to feel about you” Kanan’s gaze was intense. “I have a tendency to be… stubborn, to make decisions without thinking about the consequences. I’m _trying_ to be better at this. I fucked up pretty badly before, with Mari and Dia.” Kanan hesitated, “And maybe I did before, with you. In the clubroom… and with the voting. Like I said, it’s a work in progress.”

Riko felt a wry smile tug at her lips, she knew what that was like.

“What I’m trying to say, is that I want to give you the benefit of the doubt. But I don’t know it I can yet, I haven’t figured out how I feel about you.”

Kanan stood up to leave. “You may have completely changed my life for the worse, and I don’t know if I can forgive that.”

Riko scrambled to her feet, “You don’t have to. I-I hurt you, and I’m so sorry-”

“I know, okay. You’re a good kid, which makes this harder. I’m going to try though. I just wanted to tell you that.”

Kanan walked out of the room. She stopped and turned to look over her shoulder.

“Mari and Dia are downstairs. We’re going to check out your basement.” Kanan looked Riko up and down, “You should get dressed.”

 

* * *

 

 

Riko stumbled out of her room a few minutes later. Her clothes weren’t exactly… the freshest they’d ever been, but it was better than pajamas. She’d combed her hair too. The scents of 5 people drifted up the stairs as she padded down them. One was her mother, there was Kanan, Dia, and Mari. A frown crossed Riko’s face, hadn’t Kanan said only Dia and Mari were here? It wasn’t Chika - which was good. Riko wasn’t sure she could face her yet. The idea of that conversation scared her.

The fifth scent turned out to be Ruby. Out of every person in the dining room, Ruby was the only one facing Riko when she came in. The shy girl gave a timid wave, then sank her eyes downward into her teacup.

The others turned at the sound of her footsteps. Relief colored the air, it had to be from her mother. Riko ignored it, she intended to get this over with and resume hiding forever.

“I’ll show you downstairs.”

 

* * *

 

 

“It’s unusual for a Japanese house to have a basement.” Dia inquired, looking at the steps down. “And one so close to the ocean at that.”

“Well, that’s why we moved here specifically. The previous owner was a bit of a character apparently, he installed it. The walls are all concrete to keep the water out.” Riko’s mother patiently explained. Riko wished she would stop talking. Riko ran her nails down the side of the wall, the concrete rough under her fingertips as she led them down. She didn’t really like coming down here unless she had to. Upon seeing the bottom, Dia’s eyebrow raised.

“I… see.”

The basement was little more than a concrete box with a single light. A metal chain had been driven into the far wall. Even though her mother had said the concrete would help, the floor was damp.

“Damn girl, you live like this?”

Riko ignored Mari’s slang, “Not much choice.”

Kanan exchanged wide eyes with Mari. Dia leaned against the wall. She stood balanced on the bottom step - there wasn’t enough room for all of them to fit.

“This isn’t going to work for Kanan though. We can’t stick you both down here, it would put her in danger if she’s still human.” Dia muttered.

“Where else do we put her? The hotel is full of people…”

“S-sorry to interrupt.” Ruby stood at the top of the stairs. She cleared her throat. “Couldn’t we use the old cellars? They’re sturdy, out of the way…”

“Ruby! You’re a genius!” Dia shoved past the others on the stairs as she rushed up to pat her sister on the head.

“I am?”

“Yes!” Dia turned to explain. “The Kurosawa family owns a number of old cellars for our fishing business. They used to store preserves, but they should be sturdy enough to hold a werewolf. I’ll convince father to let us use two.”

“Two?” Riko’s mother asked curiously.

“Of course two.” Dia sniffed. “Do you really think we’d let Riko stay down here if there’s a better place?”

 

* * *

 

 

With some gentle prodding, Riko walked her fellow members to the door. Before she shut it, Dia turned.

“As your student council president, I feel obligated to tell you to come back to school.” When Riko nodded in response, she continued. “And as - hopefully - your friend, I feel obligated to tell you to take as much time as you need.” She coughed. “Sooner, would perhaps be better than later though.” She paused. Beyond her, Mari looked on with a warm smile. Kanan nudged a rock with her toe. “We only have a few months left before…” Dia trailed off.

Riko gave a watery smile and closed the door. She turned and pressed her back into the wood, slowly she slid to the ground. It had gone better than she expected, but it hadn’t been a day she was prepared for.

 

“Riko? Do you want to come in and sit with me while I make dinner?”

No, she really didn’t. Hadn’t she talked with enough people today? Riko felt drained, and yet her mother’s voice was flavored with a smell impossible to refuse.

So instead Riko followed it into the kitchen. She pulled out a chair and sat down.

“It’s good to see you outside of your room”

Riko made a small noise.

“You’ve made good friends, they really care about you.”

“Maybe.”

“They do, we were talking for awhile before you came down.”

They lapsed into silence. Her mother seemed to be searching for something to say, at the very least something Riko might respond to. This was worse. A mess of emotions whirled inside of Riko. They churned her insides like a washer with laundry. She should say something.

“I’m sorry.”

It wasn’t what she had meant to say. The words had just sprung out of her mouth before she had time to stop them. They must have been building for a long time, with every full moon, odd change, with Chika.

“What for?”

 _For so many things_ , Riko wanted to say. For everything, these horrible past ten months. For moving, uprooting them again and again, making them keep having to deal with her messes.

Instead what Riko choked out, halting and holding back tears, was this:

“I’m sorry I couldn’t be a normal daughter.”

Her mother threw down the spoon she had been cooking with, splattering sauce all over the counter. She turned around and gathered her daughter into her arms, pulling her head into her chest. She rocked forward, then back.

“Oh Riko, you don’t have to apologize. Not for any of this.” Her mother’s voice wavered, and Riko recognized it as the same quality her own got before she started to cry. Riko buried her head into her mother’s chest, inhaling the comforting smell. This one she recognized, even with a weak human nose she would still recognized it. Riko’s body shook as a shuddering sob passed through it. Then another. Even as she cried, she heard her mother’s tiny whisper, “It’s alright… it’s okay…” As the sobs subsided, she heard another one, smaller and not meant for her to hear. “Your life is going to be so hard, and I don’t know how to help you.”

When her mother finally released her, Riko sat back. She sniffled, and her mother wiped her eyes with a handkerchief. She pulled out the chair and sat next to Riko. Dinner could wait.

“Do you know what the one of the greatest fears of a mother is?”

Riko shook her head.

“They fear that their child is going to be alone. That they’ll never make friends, never find a lover…” Her mother sighed. “Of course, after that first full moon it wasn’t my first concern. But after things stabilized, it came back. You isolated yourself, refused to talk to even us. I didn’t know what to do.”

She folded and unfolded her hands. “Then we came here and your whole world opened, and that fear went away. You had so many friends, and they even knew. I figured then, that you’d be fine. And then of course, you told me you were gay.”

Riko flinched, but her mother pressed onwards.

“The fear came back again, but only for a brief second. Because immediately afterwards you told me about Chika. I know you were nervous, but Riko, I was so happy for you.”

The sunset filtered in through the kitchen windows,  turning the table beneath their hands pink and orange and purple. Riko look at her mother’s face, also stained by sunset colors. She turned and smiled.

“Of course, I was still scared. It’s a path I can’t help you with, and it’s a hard way to live - especially with everything else.”

Her mother looked worn, but she got lighter with each word. This too must have been building for a long time. At least as long as Riko’s had been.

“But you were happy, and for so long we’d feared that this would never have been possible.”

“It might not be, Kanan is one of Chika’s best friends and I… None of them may want to talk to me ever again. This isn’t like last time.” Riko looked down at her own hands, they too twisted as her mother’s did.

“I don’t think that’s true.” Riko opened her mouth to retort, but her mother shook her head. “I talked to them before you came in, they care very much about you. Chika has visited every day to drop off your homework, she’s been respecting your privacy, but she keeps coming.” Her mother laughed, “And You shows up every day too, she drops off all the homework Chika forgets about.”

Riko had to laugh at that. It sounded like them. Riko’s mother smiled at the sound, she reached out and cupped her daughter’s face.

“There she is.” She tilted her head and matched her daughter’s smile. “Riko, you have so many people who love you.”

She stood and made her way back to the mess on the stovetop. “Don’t forget that.”

 

* * *

 

 

“Chika…” Riko called softly across the balcony.

No response.

“Chika…” She called, louder this time.

There she was, sheets rustled, footsteps pounded. With a flash, Chika threw open her door and skidded over to the balcony.

“Riko!” Chika’s hair blew in the cold January wind, freed from its usual braid. It was a good look for her, though Riko didn’t mind if she didn’t wear it around. That meant it was hers.

“Can we talk?” Riko looked pointedly at the roof. Chika took the hint.

“Of course.”

 

* * *

 

 

Both of them were fairly good climbers, so they made it to the top of the inn with no trouble. Chika perched on the ridge of the roof. Riko delicately settled in next to her.

They had a lovely view of the ocean stretching out before them. As a gust of wind blew past, Chika shivered.

“Ah! I’ll go grab a blanket, sorry I forgot how cold it is for-”

“Nah, it’s fine.” Chika leaned into Riko’s side, “You’re warm.”

Riko certainly was. Heat rose in her face. She coughed, trying to regain her composure.

“Is this.. still fine then?”

“Huh?” Chika twisted to look at her face, “of course it is! Why wouldn’t it be?”

“I don’t know, Kanan is one of your best friends and I hurt her. I’m dangerous…”

“I know. But you didn’t mean to, and that’s what matters.” Chika’s voice was even. Steady and measured like the waves below. “We’ll just have to be careful. We can do that.”

“Okay.”

Chika could tell Riko wasn’t entirely convinced.

“Hey, do you want to know something about Kanan?”

“What?”

Chika chuckled. “She’s an idiot. She’s the type to hold grudges and the type who always thinks she’s right. She’s terrible at realizing what other people actually wants.”

Riko narrowed her eyes. Was this supposed to be a comfort?

“But you know, Kanan totally knows that about herself. She’s really trying not to do that.” Chika snuggled in tighter, “But here’s the biggest thing; she’s a huge softie. Once she starts caring about something, she never stops. She’s loyal to the end.”

“Oh.”

“What I’m trying to say is that she already likes you, and has probably already forgiven you - even if she doesn’t want to admit it.”

Riko nodded. A light went out in her house, her parents must be headed to bed.

“Chika…”

“Yeah?”

“I’m scared.”

Chika sat upright, turning her torso to get a better look at her girlfriend. “Of what?”

“That Kanan’s going to be like me. That I’ll hurt someone else.” Riko stared out at the water. “That I’ll hurt myself.”

“Are you thinking about what Nozomi said?”

Riko hesitated, then nodded. “I thought I was getting better, no more uncontrollable transformations, things were going so good and then… all it took was one panic attack and I’m back to square one. What if I lose control again? What if I-”

“You aren’t back to square one.” Chika reached down and squeezed Riko’s hand. “We don’t always go up, Riko. Sometimes we backslide, sometimes we fail. You’ll lose control again, and you’ll get better. We all do. It doesn’t mean that we never got anywhere.” Her thumb wore circles into the back of Riko’s hand. “Didn’t you say something similar to me?”

Chika slid forward on the roof, feet catching on the shingles with a practiced ease. She leaned back against the peak.

“Just because Nozomi says something doesn’t make it true.”

If Riko had been drinking water she would have done a spit take.

“I know, I know. But think about it. Your future isn’t set in stone. Any of us could die at any time, it’s not unique to werewolves.” Chika turned her head and smiled, “Nozomi said herself that not much is known about werewolves, doesn’t that mean that you get to find out for yourself?”

“You sound like a self-help book.”

Chika’s laugh bounced over the shingles, “Well I’ve read a few.” She turned serious, “Of course I don’t mean that things won’t be hard, and that things won’t be dangerous. But you have us, and all of us want to spend as long with you as possible.”

Riko swiped at her eyes.

Chika got up and knelt, taking both of Riko’s hands. “So if you need us to fight animal control or an angry mob, or to intervene when you’re depressed, we will.”

“I’d do the same, you know.”

Chika smiled. “I know.”

Riko smiled back, “Thank you.”

 

* * *

 

 

Riko hadn’t planned on returning to school any time soon - if ever. But she felt obligated to after everything that had happened. Chika’s bright smile at the bus stop was worth it.

And so was You’s relieved smirk.

Still, she wasn’t quite ready to be back. Riko dodged the first and third years all day. Her classmates were under the impression she had mono, thanks to You.

 _What?_ You had said, grinning evilly

Baby steps. Riko had planned on going home, but before she could Chika grabbed her by the hand and pulled her all the way to the clubroom.

At least it had been cleaned since she’d last been here.

When the door clattered open, everyone looked up.

Riko paused on the doorstep, unsure if she should enter. Any minute now she would be hit by the thick stench of unease.

Instead, everyone looked at her expectantly. Yes, she could smell the unease, but it was weaker, drowned out by relief and excitement. Warmer smells.

“Great, now that you’re back we can do the full formation. The skirt trick wouldn’t work with just 2 people.”

Riko blinked and shuffled her feet. Skirt trick? What was that? More importantly, had they actually left a hole in the choreography for her?

“Okay!” Chika grinned. “Let’s all get ready for practice!”

Riko supposed she should go change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy. I had meant to get this chapter out a lot earlier as I'm trying to finish this before I move (since I may not have internet for a while/be very busy) but alas this chapter was extremely difficult. Very dialogue heavy, but unfortunately all of these conversations had to happen. I even cut and combined a few and it still ended up like this. Oops. As a result, now there's one more chapter to look forward to. I had to break this one up again. Curse my poor planning.  
> More action will happen next chapter, we'll find out Kanan's fate then. As for Kanan, she's a character that's very difficult for me to write. But hopefully this will finally answer the question of why Kanan voted against Riko. She's certainly an interesting character. If you haven't read the doujin "This one goes out to all the 17 year-olds" I really recommend it. I think it really nails her character, I've definitely based my way of writing her after it. Don't worry, it's SFW.  
> What else... Right. There are a lot of scenes in this chapter I've wanted to write for a long time now. Especially the one where Riko talks with her mother. It's very close to my heart, and I hope it came even close to how I've pictured it in my head.  
> I'll see you next chapter! And, if you're going to AX for Aqours, let me know! Unless there's an emergency I'll be there! You'll know it's me because I'll burst into tears the moment Anchan appears on stage.


	16. Chapter 16

Chika clapped her hands, drawing the attention of rest of the rest of her group. They all looked up from their various cool-down stretches, ready for their end of practice brief. With Love Live barely two months away, their usual routine had morphed into something more intense.

“Let’s check in. First, costume team?”

You slung an easy-going arm over Ruby, “All three sets of costumes for the unit carnival are designed. We’ve finished about 5 of them completely. The others are all in various stages of completion.” 

With a teasing shake, Ruby pushed You’s arm off her. “We’ve started working on the designs for Love Live. I think we’re almost there, we just need to make sure it matches the song.”

Chika nodded in satisfaction. “Lyrics are done for all four songs. Riko?”

That was Riko’s cue. 

“I just have to make the final mix for the song for the finals. Otherwise everything is good to go. It shouldn’t change too much from the version we’ve been practicing with now.” 

“Wow, really? That was fast…” Yoshiko blinked, bewildered. 

“Well, I wanted to get it done before the weekend.” Riko scratched the back of her neck, “I won’t be able to work during, you know…”

“Right. Well, we seem to be right on track for both the unit carnival and for Love Live! Good work everyone!”

Chika smiled brightly as she dismissed everyone. But before anyone finished packing, she made one more announcement. 

“Remember, if you’re staying to talk about Kanan, we’re going to the Kurosawa’s.”

Ah yes. As if Riko could forget. Before she left, You gave Riko an apologetic shrug. She was not part of the meetings, but she had an idea. Riko was glad You was on her side now -  that wasn’t quite right. She had no delusions that You wouldn’t try to beat her up if she intentionally hurt someone. But You was supportive, she was her friend. That’s really all she needed.

A hand slipped into her own. Chika’s.

“Ready to go?”

 

* * *

 

The storerooms were way nicer than Riko’s basement. The door they entered was set into a hill, with a small set of stars leading to a corridor. Along one side of the corridor were doors, heavy and old. Riko peeked in through the small window at the top. The stone insides were neat, Dia must have swept. 

“Mari got a team to install loops for the chains, they should hold.”

They looked like the would. Better safe than sorry, the door seemed sturdy enough. Riko unlatched the newly added outside lock and stepped inside. She spun.

Then, she ran full tilt at a wall. Dia yelped when she crashed into it, but the stone remained unmovable. Beneath her skin broken blood vessels knit back together before a bruise could even begin to form.

Finally, Riko yanked on the metal loop with all her might. Sturdy.

She nodded her approval.

Dia’s shaken nerves settled back into her usual hard incense scent. 

“You and Kanan will be in separate rooms.”

“Perfect. Thank you Dia, this is really…” Riko wasn’t sure she had a word to describe it. Dia seemed to understand, despite Riko’s vocal failings.

Kanan just watched. She had said nothing the whole time, not to Riko, nor Dia. Not even to Chika who had stood next to her.

Her arm was out of it’s sling. Riko could still see the bandages, there was still an iron tinge of blood around it. The doctor has said it would be better before the unit carnival, but from the way Kanan carried it Riko could tell she wasn’t taking any chances. 

As if she knew Riko was looking, Kanan looked up.

“Hey Riko, let’s go out for coffee tomorrow. I think we need to talk.”

 

* * *

 

“So what do you think?”

Chika darted ahead of Riko, spinning to face her. Riko couldn’t help but smile at the sight of her walking backwards against the setting sun.

“It’s nice.” Tilting her head, Riko thought. “I think I can actually say that honestly this time.”

A brilliant grin spread across Chika’s face. Her footsteps slowed until they fell back in time with Riko’s. She turned to walk side by side with her.

“It’ll be a lot more comfortable for you.”

Chika continued on from there, her conversation weaving in and out of various topics, soothing any anxieties from the day. How practice had gone, where they should go next for a date, how Kanan will absolutely be fine so she shouldn’t worry.

Illuminated by the sunset, the seawall stretched on before them, leading them home. Riko was content to listen.

“Hey Riko?”

Startled from her meditative state, Riko realized Chika had stopped behind her.

“Yes?”

Chika stared out toward the ocean. She rubbed one foot against her leg, scratching an itch.

“I’ve been meaning to ask, but do you want me to stay with you?”

Breath hitched in Riko’s throat.

“I mean for the full moon. You’ve never said anything before, but we’ve been dating for a while now…”

“Oh.”

Chika met eyes with Riko, then looked away again. “Sorry, if that was too - you know. I was just wondering. Maybe it would help?”

Riko hunched her shoulders, “I don’t think that would be a good idea. It’s really unpleasant.”

“I can handle unpleasant! I’ve seen you on a full moon already, it’s not-”

“That’s different.” Riko stared at her feet. “Changing back is not nearly as bad as changing into a wolf.” 

She bit her lip, “I don’t want you to see that.”

“Dia’s and Ruby are going to be there…”

“It’s there house. I’d rather they wouldn’t be, but I can’t stop them.”

“Okay.” The wind whipped Chika’s scent away from Riko, streaming it out to the middle of the ocean. Chika just smiled, warm as always. “If that’s what you want.”   
It was. But Chika seemed a tiny bit - not disappointed - but off. And somewhere inside Riko, she did as well.

 

* * *

 

Kanan was already waiting for Riko when she walked into the coffee shop. The other girl held up a hand and motioned for her to come sit at the open seat across the table. Riko did so.

“I already ordered, go ahead and get something.”

Shaking her head, Riko replied. “I’m fine.”

The table settled into an awkward silence. Already. 

“So,” Kanan leaned forward onto her elbows. “Tell me about how your first full moon went.”

There weren’t many topics this could have been about. Still, Riko had wished it was a different one. She looked around with a quick jolt. The cafe wasn’t that crowded, but that was worse. It was a lot quieter in here.

“Is this really the right place to have this conversation,” Riko’s hands twisted beneath the table. “What if someone hears?”

“What if they do? We’re just talking about a book.”

_ A book? _ Riko’s eyes narrowed. Then, she got it.

“Right, a book.”

Kanan gave her a reassuring nod, of course she had already thought about it. There was the reliable upperclassmen, even if she was a little rough around the edges.

“Um, well. What do you want to know about it?”

If she could help it, Riko wanted to avoid talking about her direct experience. 

“The basics really, how long does it take? What does it feel like?” Kanan’s voice was calm and even, but a spike of fear hit Riko’s nose. 

Of course she would be scared.

Even if Kanan was older than her, Riko was the one with the knowledge here. Unlike Riko had been 11 months ago, Kanan would not have to go into this blind. 

Riko couldn’t help but be a little jealous.

As twisted as that was.

“I guess I’ll start at the beginning. I think it only takes a few minutes at most to shift fully, but it happens in stages.”

Kanan frowned, “Stages?”

With a flinch, Riko elaborated. “The mind… changes first. Have you ever had an anxiety attack?”

Kanan shook her head. There went Riko’s easiest frame of comparison.

“Well, basically you lose control of your thoughts and body. That takes about a minute, but you’re still kind of there in the back until the end. You just can’t do anything.”

The stony look on Kanan’s face forced Riko to continue.

“Um. Then the body changes, but in fits and starts. It’s never smooth.” Riko paused, holding back information wouldn’t be helpful. So, “It hurts, a lot. And they you aren’t there anymore - until morning, like falling asleep.”

A heavy sigh escaped Kanan’s lips. Riko looked away, “Sorry.”

“It’s better to know.” Kanan leaned back, “It sounds awful, but at least I’ll be prepared.”

“That will help,” Riko agreed. It really would.

“So, is that is?” Kanan took a sip of the coffee in front of her. It had finally cooled down enough.

Riko nodded.

“I haven’t told my grandfather yet - just in case.” Kanan placed her mug on the table. She crossed her arms. “So, if it’s alright, I want Mari and Dia there.”

“O-okay.” What could Riko say to that? It was her fault Kanan was in this situation, if she needed support she should have it. Still, “It’ll be a lot.”

“They can handle it.”

“Right.”

Awkward silence, that old friend, returned. 

“Hey.”

Riko looked up. Kanan peered back at her, curiosity twining around her.

“How did you get through that first one - I mean, without hurting anyone?”

Flashes tore through Riko’s memory. A locked bathroom door, a panicked phone call, a destroyed kitchen.

“The bathroom door was strong enough to keep me out.”

“Oh.” Kanan looked into her mug. 

“Is there anything else?”

“No.”

 

* * *

 

Saturday afternoon came, as it inevitably would. And with it came the full moon.

Under the guise of storing sound equipment, the involved parties had all made it to the storeroom. They had an hour.

Chika was there.

“I’m just checking in with Dia.” Chika sheepishly rubbed the back of her neck. “I promise I’ll leave when you tell me to.”

Distracted, Riko nodded.If she hadn’t been preoccupied, she would have noticed the Chika wasn’t actually doing anything; just hanging around keeping out of people’s way.

In the room next door, Riko’s parents, Mari, and Dia helped Kanan with the chains. Riko’s ears flicked, catching the whispered reassurances that they’d unlock her if everything was fine.

Riko swallowed the bitterness collecting on her tongue. That wasn’t an option for her.

“Do you need help?”

Sweet honey and mikan. Sticky concern and something softer.

Chika stood in the doorway.

“I’m fine, I think.”

Riko tugged at the chain on the wall, testing it. Her fingers fumbled with the collar.

“Let me.”

Well-worn hands closed on her, deftly opening the lock. Chika draped it over like a necklace - as if she was a normal girlfriend trying on a gift.

When the leather brushed against the scars on her neck, Riko flinched.

“Hey.” Something else brushed against them. Riko knew that butterfly sensation well. As she pulled back from the kiss, Chika clicked the collar into place. 

“There we go.” 

It was almost sweet.

Riko picked up the muzzle, turning it over in her hands.

“Wait to put that on.” Chika shifted, antsy. Riko knew what she wanted, but honestly she didn’t feel up to it.

“Later, okay?” Riko tried to smile. It didn’t die on her face, that would have required it exist in the first place.

“Sure.” Chika turned to leave, only a little droopy.

That feeling was back again. Churning at her insides, fanned by the sounds of the busy room next door. In a few steps Chika would leave the room. Riko wouldn’t be able to reach her then.

That was a good thing.

But it wasn’t right now.

With a rattle of chains, Riko rushed forward. She grabbed Chika’s hand, pulling and spinning her.

“Wait!”

“Eh?” 

Riko bit her lip. 

“I changed my mind.”

“What?” Chika’s eyebrows shot towards her hairline. “Really?”

“I might change it again, so let me finish.”

The solemn nod didn’t suit Chika.

“I really like you, and I don’t want you to see this.” 

Chika definitely wanted to say something, but she kept it in. Her restraint was admirable.

“But, like I said, I really like you. And if this is something long term, then you probably should know what you’re getting into. Fully.” Riko blinked back tears. She looked up at the ceiling, hoping the angle would mask it. “So, if you want to stay you can.” 

“And,” Riko’s voice was soft, almost a whisper. “If you want to leave you can.”

“Riko…”

“I mean it. If it’s too much for you at any point, you can.”

“Are you talking about tonight, or our relationship?”

There it was, Chika’s crystal clear insight. 

“Both.”

“I see.” Chika sighed. “Riko, I know you’ve been holding back for me, but you don’t have to. I want this, I want to see all of it; the good and bad.” 

She reached up and grabbed Riko’s cheeks, pulling her down to eye-level. “That’s part of loving someone.”

She leaned in. Hesitant, waiting for permission. Riko sank into her hands, and nodded. 

The kiss was gentle, and it was short. Just a brush of lips against her own.

“I’ll be here when you come back.”

And with that, Chika walked out of the room and locked the door.

 

* * *

 

It wasn’t long after.

It started with a grunt. If she hadn’t known better, Chika would have thought it sounded like Riko was confused. But that wasn’t it.

That wasn’t it at all.

A grunt gave way to shaky reasoning, which gave way to human begging.

Which eventually, gave way to half-human shrieking.

It was still Riko in there, but just barely. Inside was a scared girl losing her grip on herself. 

Mari clenched her hands, each shriek landed like a blow. Smooth fingers pried her hand open. Dia. 

She met her tear-filled eyes. 

“I don’t think we have to discipline Riko more than this.”

Mari nodded. 

Dia tried to keep her voice steady, “Ruby, you should leave.”

Ruby didn’t even bother trusting her voice, but she shook her head. Instead she reached out for Dia’s free hand. Ruby got to be scared, but even now Dia was trying to be the brave one.

Her older sister’s hand closed on her own.

A jangle of metal and a door-shaking thud. Riko slammed herself against the wall. A wail, high pitched and keening echoed throughout the corridor. 

“Ahhhhhhhhrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggg”

A wretched symphony of scratching sounds, against stone, against skin. Violent movement punctuated by shrieks thrashed behind the closed door.

Any last pleas transformed from desperate human into furious howls.

Riko was gone.

In the next room over, Kanan’s voice rose.

“Can you please get me out of here?” Chika had never heard Kanan sound frantic before. Riko’s father bolted over, unlocking the door in record time. After a few seconds, they emerged from the room. Kanan’s face was shockingly pale, drained of blood. She shook, here hands pressed to her ears. He transferred Kanan over to Dia.

She whispered to her, and led the shaking other girl up the stairs.

Snarls rang out as they passed Riko’s door. The chain clinked as it strained, but it remained solid. The wolf would not be getting out tonight.

It was unfair, Chika thought to herself. That only Kanan got to leave. That Riko had to stay here, tonight and every month after.

She was terrible for thinking that.

A howl ripped into her train of thoughts, Chika yelped and threw her hands in front of her face. Behind the door wasn’t the fluffy too big wolf Chika had gotten used to seeing her girlfriend as. It was the one from that first night, the one she’d cowered from.

“I’m a terrible girlfriend.” Chika buried her face into her arms. Riko’s mother looked down at her in confusion.

“I shouldn’t be scared.”

“Oh Chika, we’re all scared. That doesn’t make you a bad girlfriend.” Riko’s mother slid down the wall. She rested a hand on Chika’s shoulder.

“I shouldn’t be! I promised her I could handle it, but what if I can’t? She needs someone who’s cool and collected, not someone like me.”

“I don’t think that’s true.” Riko’s mother sure was comforting. Even with her daughter rampaging behind closed doors, she was still trying to help someone else’s child. “You aren’t scared of Riko when you shouldn’t be, and even when you are you stick around. That counts a whole lot.”

“It’s frustrating.”

“Yes, it is. But Chika, doesn’t that mean you care a lot?”

Chika turned. For the first time that night, there was a small smile on Mrs. Sakurauchi’s face.

“That’s what Riko needs, and listen.”

“To what?”

“It’s quiet. She’s calmer when we talk. But this is quietest I’ve ever heard her.”

Chika stared at the door, eyes scrunching up as if she could see Riko if she tried hard enough.

“It’s because you’re here, I know it.”

“Do you really think so?”

“I do.”

Maybe then, she was enough.

 

* * *

 

Turning back is like waking up. Riko pulled her mind together slowly recognizing fingers and floor, sounds of humanity. 

She felt like she’d been hit by a truck.

“Ugh…”

Riko rolled onto her back. The chain had tangled around her, the collar yanked against her windpipe.

She choked.

“We’ve got you.” Her father’s voice and smell wrapped around her as his arms lifted her up. With a clank, the chains dropped to the floor. “It was one of the rougher nights, huh?”

Riko groaned in response.

She didn’t feel like opening her eyes. 

“Can you walk?”

She could, if she leaned against him. Her bare feet took halting steps on the stone floor.

Wasn’t she forgetting something?

“...Kanan…”

“She’s fine, she didn’t transform.”

That’s all she needed to know. Riko felt her leg give out.

“--at’s good.”

With a relieved sigh that finally released all the worry she’d been holding in, Riko passed out.

 

* * *

 

By the time Riko finally sat up, it was dusk. She wiped her face, shedding some fur and brushing away drool.

She could never be sure how bad a full moon could be. Some days it wiped her out, others she bounced back quickly. This must have been-

Kanan.

Riko thrashed out of bed. She needed to find her phone. A vague memory tugged at her brain, had her father said she was fine? Riko needed a confirmation.

Her phone buzzed. There it was, on her desk.

Riko padded over to check it, only to find her screen filled with notifications.

Swiping it open, Riko scrolled back to the beginning. She pushed her tongue against a fang.

 

_ Kanan is fine. _

That one was from hours ago. Dia had sent it last night.

 

Riko scrolled.

 

_ Riko had a bad night. _

Mari.

_ Oh no! Is she okay? _

Hanamaru.

More continued like that.

 

_ Riko’s back, her parents took her home. _

Chika. From that morning.

Below it were expressions of relief.

She scanned them briefly.

 

At this point the conversation devolved into mocking You for a typo.

 

_ Is Riko still asleep? _

Yoshiko, 15 minutes ago. She was worried.

That was nice.

 

As Riko reached the end of the chain, a new one popped up.

_ Look who’s awake? Good morning sleepyhead. _

You. How did she know?

As if answering her question,

_ Read receipts lol.  _

 

“Riko!”

A voice called from the balcony. 

Chika. She must have seen the messages.

Riko put her phone down on the desk, she’d reply later.

The balcony doors opened smoothly, letting her into the cool air. Across the way, Chika grinned like an idiot. She reached out a hand. Chika was downwind, but that didn’t stop Riko from getting a nose full of relief and something else. With a start, Riko realized it might be joy. She’d never recognized it before.

Chika’s smile crinkled at the corner of her eyes, inviting Riko to smile as well. She couldn’t help it. Of course, that just made Chika grin wider.

“Welcome back!”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally answers to Kanan's predicament. Sorry for the long wait everyone, between AX and preparing to move, I knew it would be a long wait. Unfortunately something very serious happened in my personal life and everything kinda got put on hold. Things are better now.  
> The next chapter might be a ways off, I'm not sure when I'll have internet in my apartment. But once I do I'll update. Only a few things left now.  
> This chapter was kind of terrible to write. I have to be honest, I'm a cartoonist first. I've always drawn, and writing is still new to me. I tend to plot out my stories like a comic, but that means I struggle trying to get the visuals in my head into words. I'm still trying to figure that out. But it's been fun, and as difficult as certain scenes were (the transformation) it was still fun to write.  
> Lastly, come join me on tumblr if you want. I post doodles and chikariko mostly, but I'll probably post some author notes about this work as it starts to wind down. If you have any questions feel free to ask! I'm over at letmarisayfuck.tumblr.com, feel free to say hi.  
> Thanks for your patience, I'll be back as soon as I can.


	17. Chapter 17

Riko had never been good at ice-skating. That's not to say she was any better or worse now. Well, she could balance now, her body managing to adjust itself to the ice surprisingly well. Was there anything this body was bad at?

Balancing was good. Moving was another story.

Riko had fantasized - just a little bit - of Chika leading her across the ice gallantly. The princely Chika in her head had taken her by the arm and skated with her, reassuring the other girl when she fell.

Chika couldn't ice skate.

And Riko wasn't falling.

So long to that fantasy.

So instead Riko and Chika clung to each other on the icy Hokkaido pond, slowly turning in uncontrollable circles. Riko was okay with that, they were still arm in arm. Except now it was Riko who held up Chika every time the other girl's skates slid out from under her.

The cold February air flushed Chika's nose a rosy pink, turning her face into a constant blush. She giggled helplessly into Riko's shoulder. 

Wow she was cute.

The unit carnival had gone well. They'd sang a couple songs each, did a group number. The fans in Hakodate had loved the second collaboration with Saint Snow. It had definitely been worthwhile.

So now that it was over, Leah had suggested they all go ice skating on the pond just outside Hakodate. 

Riko suspected she just wanted a romantic evening with Ruby. They weren't dating yet, but Riko had her suspicions.

The two in question skated past. Ruby was one of the better skaters in the group; Leah was definitely more skilled, but Ruby could keep up pretty well. 

Meanwhile, Dia was hopeless. Riko took a quick glance back and confirmed that Dia ws on the ground again. Or maybe she never got up from last time. Mari didn't seem to be interested in helping her, she shook as she cackled.  _ Poor Dia _ , thought Riko. 

Karma kicked in and Mari finally tipped over, still laughing. She hit the ice next to a disgruntled Dia, for a moment the chuckling gave way to a winded oof. But with a closer look at Dia's face filled with barely contained wounded pride, Mari burst back into laughter, rolling back and forth.

An exasperated Kanan looked on. 

Yoshiko had already sprained her ankle. Hanamaru, who was only moderately better than Dia had joined the self-proclaimed fallen angel on the sidelines. For what she lacked in skating skills, Hanamaru made up for in first aid. She was in the middle of wrapping Yoshiko's ankle. Hopefully it was minor, Love Live was barely a month away.

You and Sarah were by far the best of their respective groups. You was good at everything after all. The pair seemed locked into what was probably an unofficial race. Sarah was nice, but Riko hoped You would win.

Riko should have smelled it. Or rather - she should have smelled it sooner, because she did smell it. But amidst the lighter scents wafting from over the ice, she missed it. Not the odor, but the meaning.

It had been sharp, like ozone. Like the smell of a releasing aerosol can. Like soda bubbles.

Like melting ice.

Because that was exactly what it was.

 

Ruby plunged through the weakened ice. A frantic squeak, then nothing.

Riko saw it in slow motion.

Leah - who had been ahead of Ruby - turned and with a few fast strokes shot over to the edge. Sarah moving to intercept her. Ice skates were coming off. Shouting. Dia, sitting up from where she had fallen. Chika losing her balance and crashing to the ice. Yoshiko running on her sprained ankle to her bag. That was good, her ankle wasn't that bad then.

Riko dived in without even thinking about it.

In hindsight she would argue it made the most sense. She was faster, stronger, better senses, a second coat. A healing factor. But now, in this moment, Riko had thought none of that. Just simply that everyone else had been moving too slow.

 

The descent. 

This must have been what it had been like before, in her human body. Everything was cold, her nose useless. Sound and sight muffled. She barely remembered what it felt like. If this is what if had been, she didn't like it. Riko plunged through the water. It couldn't have been that deep, but it felt like she dived for miles. There - Ruby. Still kicking, but the ice skates and her waterlogged clothes were dragging her down. Riko touched bottom. Ruby's read hair drifted around them like seaweed. She looked almost like a mermaid, but she clearly didn't belong there. Riko pushed off the muddy pond-bed. When she wrapped her arm around Ruby she was cold, and heavy. 

Riko's core was beginning to boil. The tell-tale sign of her healing kicking into overdrive. It fizzed beneath the surface of her skin. She'd been down there too long, which meant that Ruby had been there for dangerously too long. 

Riko pulled her to the surface, Ruby wasn't kicking anymore. Riko's lungs screamed, there - light. Riko reached up and hit ice.

 

This wasn't good - quick - before she started sinking again. Riko felt her arm change, filled with new strength. She punched upwards, cracking the ice. 

Again.

The ice floated apart, with all the power her rapidly shifting fingers contained, Riko threw Ruby upwards onto solid ground. Her skates slid off her paws, clothing ripping and sinking. 

A large wolf hauled herself to the surface. Riko shook, trying to expel as much water as possible before curling around the smaller girl. Water droplets sizzled.

She ran hot after all.

"Ruby!" Dia shrieked, skidding on ice as she pushed her way over. 

She laid her hand against Ruby's mouth, "She's breathing!"

Green eyes met yellow, "Thank you, Riko." Dia breathed, shaken. "Thank you."

The others rushed over, moving Ruby from ice to solid ground. Riko moved with them, keeping close to her.

An ambulance siren grew louder in the background.  

Chika's eyes darted to the distance, then back. "Riko, change back."

_ Couldn't they see she was keeping Ruby warm? _

"Where's Riko?"

That was Sarah.

"Is she still down there? We have to get her out"

"No! Don't go down there, she's fine!"

"She's drowning!"

Dia looked at Riko, "Riko it's okay, turn back."

_ She didn't have any clothes. _

"That's your girlfriend! She'll die!"

"It alright, please just listen -"

The ambulance roared in, followed by a police car. 

"She's over here!" Hanamaru motioned. 

With practiced efficiency the two EMTs pulled Ruby away from Riko. She growled a bit. They loaded Ruby onto a stretcher, motioning Dia to come with.

The police officer was talking to Chika. Kanan and You had dragged Leah and Sarah away from them, they were arguing. 

"Is this the dog?"

Ah, she was a dog now.

Chika nodded vigorously. 

"I can take her to the vet, are you the owner?"

"Yes, should I come with?"

"If you want."

Chika looked to the others, they nodded and shooed her towards the car.

Mari whispered, "Take care of Riko, we'll update you on Ruby."

Riko obediently followed Chika into the police car. Her core was beginning to cool down, not in a all-better-now type of way, but in a this-was-too-much way.

She was tired, and for the first time in months she felt the cold seeping into her bones. A doctor would be better, but a vet would do. 

Riko felt like she should be humiliated by that, but she couldn't bring her defrosting brain to care.

Honestly, a vet was probably safer.

 

* * *

 

“So,” the vet spun around in her chair to face Chika. “This is your dog?”

“Yes,” Chika reaffirmed. 

“She’s a good one, very brave.” The last bit vet cooed into Riko’s ear. “Let’s take a look shall we?”

The vet led them to the table. Riko hopped up without prompting, causing the vet’s eyebrows to raise.

“She’s well trained?”

Chika nodded distractedly. She was engrossed in looking at a small screen.

“What’s that?”

The vet answered without looking, “a video feed of the kennel area. I can check in on my high risk patients whenever I want.” 

The vet peered closer at Riko’s teeth, manipulating her head. A crease formed between her eyebrows as she continued the examination.

“You said this is your dog?”

“Yes…” Why was she asking the question again?

“What’s her name?”

“Riko.”

“Where are her tags?”

Chika coughed nervously, “they must’ve come off in the pond.”

The vet grunted a response. She inspected Riko’s hind legs.

“Do you have registration?”

“Yes?”

The vet stopped. She picked up a small syringe and injected it, whispering reassurances to Riko.

“What was that?”

The vet didn’t reply, instead she turned to face Chika directly.

“This isn’t your dog, is it?”

“O-of course she is.” 

On the table, Riko’s ears pricked upright, her whole body starting to tense. The vet sighed and leaned forward.

“This can’t be your dog.” Before Chika could reply, the vet continued. “This can’t be your dog, because this isn’t a dog.”

Oh they were busted. Riko tried to get up, they could still run. Instead her hind legs refused to move. She whined.

Chika looked frantically between Riko and the vet, “I don’t know what you’re talking about. What did you give her?” Her voice rose slightly.

“This is a wolf.” The vet shook her head, “Relax, I just gave her a sedative.”

Chika jumped to her feet, spluttering.

“You can’t have a pet wolf, no one would have sold her to you. I doubt I’ll find a registration.” The vet placed a hand on Chika’s shoulder, “Did she come out of the woods?”

“No! She came with me!”

“Listen, you can’t keep her. This is a wild creature.”

Riko’s head slumped to the table. Chika tried to move to her, but the vet kept her in place.

“You don’t understand how important this is, Hokkaido wolves are thought to be extinct. If she is what I think, she’s proof that they aren’t.” Excitement burned in the vet’s eyes. “This could be monumental.”

Chika stammered, trying to come up with something. The vet was right, she wouldn’t find any registration of owning Riko. Because well, she didn’t. 

“I’ll have to call the authorities, we could arrange a breeding program for conservation.  There’s so much to study here!”

_ No no no.  _ Riko had completely zonked out on the table, Chika was surprised that the sedative affected her so much. She needed to think of somthing fast.

“Thank you for bringing her here, this is incredible.”

The vet walked away from the table, forcing Chika to go with her.

“I wonder if she’s partially domesticated though, she’s so tame. Rehibilitation may be difficult…” The vet wasn’t even talking to Chika anymore, she was caught in her own musings.

They were at the doorstep now. With a sudden snap, the vet remembered that Chika was there. “I’ll keep her for a few days, if you want to bring the girl she saved by.”

With that, she shut the door in Chika’s face.

“Wait…”

The door didn’t open again.

“You can’t just take her…”

Chika stood on the doorstep of the clinic, completely and utterly lost as to what to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello dear readers, I’m writing this from a Starbucks in a foreign country. Moving is hard, moving to a new country is doubly harder. Especially getting internet set up, still waiting for that.  
> That being said, not having distractions has been a boon to my writing.  
> I’ve finished Know it by its Scent.   
> There are some edits I need to do, so I won’t be dumping the final updates all at once, but perhaps one a week will be good. It depends.   
> I hope you enjoy the last bits of this story, it’s been a lot to finish. So please, stay with me for the last 2807 words.


	18. Chapter 18

When Chika walked in through the door to the waiting room, she was met with arguing.

“You’re all insane! She never resurfaced, she’s probably dead!”

A devastated Sarah drew herself up to her full height to yell at the unflappable Mari.

“I promise you, Riko is fine. When Chika gets back, you’ll see.”

“I’m back.”

“Chika!” All the seated people jumped to their feet, Their relief turned to confusion when they saw she was alone.

“Where’s Riko?” Asked You.

“Probably still at the bottom of the pond!” Sarah pushed her way through the crowd, “How are you all so calm?”

“Well…” Chika hesitated, “How is Ruby?”

You cut in front of Sarah, “She’ll be fine. Dia and Leah are with her.”

“That’s a relief.” Chika sank into a chair.

Sarah stuck her face directly into Chika’s “This is your girlfriend! You just left her!”

Right, she had to deal with this.

“Riko is fine, I promise. She’s… resting.”

Sarah appeared unconvinced.

“I’m calling the police.”

Really unconvinced.

“Wait! Don’t do that, please just listen…”

She was pulling her phone out.

_Quick Chika, think of something._

“The dog was Riko!”

Well, that was certainly _something._

Sarah paused, then shot the most scathing glare she could muster.

You gave Chika a incredulous look that said _Riko is going to kill you._

Yes well, Riko would probably kill her even worse if there was a police investigation.

While Sarah was distracted, Kanan deftly reached over and plucked the phone out of her hands.

“Hey!”

“It’s true, Riko was the dog - well, wolf actually.” Kanan appeared calm.

“You all really are insane.”

There was really nothing else to do at this point.

“Riko is a werewolf.”

Sarah attempted to get her phone back. Kanan held it high above her head. The other girl gave up. “Werewolves aren’t real. Stop pulling my leg.”

Sarah turned, looking for someone to break character. No one did.

“Are you seriously all in on this?”

Chika shook her head, “It’s not a joke. Think about it, where else would the wolf come from? Did you see it enter the water?”

Sarah appeared to be scanning her memory, she didn’t seem to like what she found.

“Just because I didn’t see it, didn’t mean it didn’t happen.”

The door to Ruby’s room opened. A disheveled Dia and Leah walked out. Dia promptly collapsed into a chair, slumping down in it. This was the most improper Chika had ever seen Dia be.

“Ruby is alright, but they’ll keep her overnight. Ri- the dog kept her warm enough.”

“I told them about Riko.”

Dia normally would have sat bolt upright, but she was too tired. “What?”

It came out weakly.

“She’s going to kill you.”

“You’re in on this too? This joke is in poor taste.”

Dia heaved a sigh, cluing into what was going on.

“I wish it was a joke, I would’ve rather not have had to re-evaluate the world we live in.”

She suddenly noticed the absent member.

“Where’s Riko?”

Everyone turned to Chika. She squirmed in her seat.

“About that… we need an extraction…”

  


* * *

 

 

Sarah honestly wasn’t sure why she hadn’t gone to the police yet. She considered Aqours her friends, sure - but they’d just left their friend to drown in the bottom of a frozen pond.

And yet, everyone seemed to be completely convinced she was still alive and in fact, some kind of mythical creature.

“We only need a couple hours.” Chika begged, she stared at Sarah with those puppy eyes. “I promise you, if we don’t come back with Riko you can call the police and - I dunno, would we get arrested?”

It had to be shock. That was it.

She turned to Leah for back up. Leah however, was not cooperating.

“I believe Ruby. She said Riko pulled her out of the water.”

Sarah broke, she wasn’t proud of it.

“Fine. It’s a deal.”

Riko was dead anyway, she could feed this delusion for a little while if it would help them come to terms with it.

“Great!” Chika turned her back to Sarah, issue forgotten. “I’m definitely going, but I’ll need help.”

“I’m going!” Yoshiko shot her hand straight in the air.

“Yoshiko, no offense, but you are the clumsiest person I know.” You normally would have tried to be gentle, now wasn’t the time for that.

Yoshiko wilted. Hanamaru laid a comforting hand on her shoulder, “It’s okay Yoshiko, we can keep Ruby and Dia company.”

“I’ll go.” Kanan spoke up. “My guess is that you haven’t figured out how to get into the clinic yet.”

“Uh…”

“Thought so, I can help with that.”

“Me too!” You was not about to be left behind. Not for this.

“Three people seems good, everyone else should be here for Ruby.”

Mari nodded, “I can try to pull some strings if the break-in fails, I’ll start making calls.”

Dia stood up, her face pinched and drawn. “I’ll go tell Ruby what is going on, please keep me up to date. Ruby would like to thank Riko… I would too.”

Chika nodded solemnly, “Of course Dia, you and Ruby should get some rest though.”

Mari flashed an okay sign, she was on it.

And with that, there was nothing else to do but go.

  


* * *

 

  


They stopped back at the hotel to pick up a spare clothes for Riko and some supplies. You took the chance to change into some dark clothing, it would be close to 1AM before they made there way to the clinic.

“Is this is?”

Chika affirmed it, “The kennel is in the back.”

You knelt down, she pulled out some tools. The lock wasn’t too hard.

“I didn’t know you could pick locks.”

You hummed, “I learned so I could impress-” She cut herself off. Better not to finish that sentence.

Luckily, the door clicked open, giving You the excuse she needed not to continue.

The three stepped inside.

“Where are the cameras?” Kanan whispered into Chika’s ear.

“In the kennel, we could maybe cut the wire to the monitor?”

Kanan shook her head, “We don’t know if that’s it. It could be recording, or streaming elsewhere.”

You hadn’t thought of that, neither it appeared, had Chika.

“What do we do then?”

Kanan smirked and pulled out a can from the bag.

Spray paint.

“Should I be worried about what you two are doing in your spare time?”

“It’s fine.”

You picked the lock to the kennel. The animals inside reacted to the door opening, some meowed, some barked. The three ignored them, they were looking for one specifically.

Kanan found the camera. She slid underneath it - keeping out of it’s range of sight - then reached up and over with the spray can.

She let loose.

“That should do it.” The whole lens was coated in green paint.

There she was, Riko sat in the corner watching them. Chika ran to her.

“Hey!”

Riko rose to her feet unsteadily. With a sigh, she shook her coat from her nose in a ripple down to the tip of her tail.

Human Riko crouched inside the cage.

“Hey.”

Chika coughed and turned around. Kanan and You had already done so. Gingerly, Chika held the bag out behind her. With a tug, the bag vanished from her hand, and she heard movement in the cage.

“Thanks for coming to get me.”

“What, did you think we would just leave you?”

Chika turned around, a fully clothed Riko rubbed the back of her neck.

“Where you seriously thinking we would?”

“N-no.”

She was lying, Chika knew it. She’d talk later.

“Well, we still need to get you out. You?”

“Oh no it’s fine, I can take it from here.” Riko gripped the bars and pulled, the door to the cage snapped off. Riko shrieked.

The door clattered to the ground. Riko stood paralyzed, hands still in place where the door had been. You leaned back in shock.

“Sorry… I thought it would bend…”

It was fine, Chika took Riko by the hand.

“Let’s go home.”

They needed to move fast, if the vet checked her monitor and found the paint she’d surely come and check. Or call the cops.

They ran past the other animals, they cowered back in their own cages. But Riko paid them no mind, she focused solely on hand holding hers.

 

 

* * *

 

 

To say Sarah was shocked was an understatement. Even if she had agreed to give them one night, she had definitely thought Riko would not be coming back. This was a dead girl coming back to her.

It meant what they’d said was real.

“Then… you’re actually?”

Riko flinched, Chika had warned her, but it never got easier.

“I’d appreciate it if you kept that to yourselves.”

Leah and Sarah nodded furiously. The threatening glare You maintained over Riko’s shoulder probably helped.

“Is Ruby okay?”

“She is.”

Riko sank to the floor in relief. Tears pin-pricked at the corner of her eyes. It had been worth it then. The sedative must’ve still been running through her system, why else would she be so emotional.

Riko rolled onto her back. Her hands went up to her face to block out the tears.

“Are you okay?”

There was Chika’s voice again, calm and gentle. But hesitant.

“I’m fine, just give me a minute.”

“We were all really worried about you, Ruby too. She kept asking about you.” Hanamaru knelt down next to Riko’s head.

The sedative was definitely still there. Riko’s unbidden thoughts rose to the surface.

“Why?”

The members looked at each other in confusion.

“Why were you all so worried? Ruby is way more important.” Riko sat up, “What you did was absolutely illegal, what if you had gotten arrested? I’m not worth it.”

“Riko…” Chika sat down cross legged across from her. “Can you please stop saying stuff like that?”

“It’s true though, to go so far for a monster like me-”

“You aren’t a monster, no one here thinks that but you.”

Riko looked up at Chika’s firm voice. All her friends stared at her, nodding in affirmation.

Hanamaru, warm and worried. Yoshiko, shaken but relieved.

“But-”

“We like hanging out with you, we’re all glad you’re in this group.”

That was Mari, her sincerity echoed by Kanan.

“It hurts when you say stuff like that about yourself, have more confidence in yourself.” You spoke firmly, but gently.

“Riko,” Chika’s hands slipped into hers again, smooth as always, like a key into a well-oiled lock.

“You’re the only one who thinks so poorly about yourself. We keep telling you over and over that we care about you.”

On the side of the room, Leah and Sarah hovered awkwardly.

“For someone who has such good senses, you’re pretty blind when it comes to yourself. I know it’s hard, but we’ll keep telling you that until you finally accept it. Okay?”

Chika smiled, it was a sad smile. But behind it was something else, a tenderness.

Riko extracted a hand, she needed it to wipe her eyes.

“Okay.”

  


* * *

 

  


That morning - less than 6 hours later - they all headed to the hospital to pick up the Kurosawas. While Ruby finished her check in, Dia pulled Riko aside and into a hug.

“Thank you.”

Riko yelped at the contact. Even though the scent of gratitude had been strong, she hadn’t expected a hug. Dia released her.

“Seriously, without you my sister very well could have died. We owe you a lot.” Dia straightened her back, “First and foremost, an apology.”

Riko coughed, “You don’t have to-”

“No, I do.” Dia squared her shoulders. “I’m sorry, I was wrong about you. I was unfair, some of the things I said were… hurtful.”

“It’s alright,” Riko shook her head. “You were doing what you had to do. I don’t mind.”

“But I do, so I’m sorry. Please accept my apology.”

“Uh, it’s accepted.”

Dia relaxed. Across the lobby, Ruby waved. She was fully checked out.

“We should head back, we don’t want to miss out flight.”

No, they didn’t. Riko really didn’t want to stick around to see if the vet had figured out who had broken into her clinic.

As they approached, Ruby bowed.

“Thank you,” She squeaked, her voice tiny. Then, she stealed herself and gave Riko a quick hug. Ruby jumped back again, nervousness written all across her face and scent.

Dia’s hug had been completely unpredicted, but Ruby… Riko had never thought it would be possible.

“Your welcome, any time.” Riko grinned, a real one. Forgotten about, her fangs flashed fully at the corners of her smile. Even though the sight of the canines did scare Ruby a little bit, she was happy to see them. Usually by now Riko would have covered them with her hand, or stopped smiling just to hide them.

Ruby smiled back. As doglike as the fangs were, she could never be scared of anything so clearly full of joy.

  


* * *

 

  


They almost missed it. They arrived just at the end of the boarding process. The flight attendants scanned the tickets frantically, trying to get the 9 of them on as soon as possible.

“Hurry!”

The group ran down the boarding dock. As they did, Riko reached back and found Chika’s hand. She turned her head briefly to smile at her girlfriend, who’s surprised expression morphed to match her own.

“Hey Chika?”

“Yes?”

Her hand tightened, Riko hoped the squeeze she gave her conveyed even half of the love she wanted Chika to feel. Even just a third of the happiness, a fourth of the gratitude.

Chika’s expression told her it did. Her eyes burned with their usual gentle fire, the kind that always seemed to kindle into the warmth of a summer day when she looked at Riko.

“Let’s go home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last full chapter of Know it by its Scent. All that is left is the epilogue, which I’ll post sometime in the next week, I want it to be as perfect as I can get it.  
> You know how I said I was done last time? Well, I had a lot more revisions on this chapter than I thought.  
> But seriously, thank you all for reading. Shout out to everyone who read, left kudos, or bookmarked. Big thanks to those who have commented on every chapter, or only just commented once. It’s been a pleasure to see all the feedback you’ve left for me. I honestly get overwhelmed every time I see the response to this story. It’s hard for me to believe that it could have possibly grown this much.  
> Truly, thank you.


	19. Epilogue

Fear. Anger. Anxiety.

Riko knows each of those scents well. They have lingered across each friend and family member these past twelve months.

 

This is full moon number 12.

 

She guesses that this is the one year anniversary. It’s not like she’s been meaning to keep track, and she certainly isn’t celebrating it. But this is a milestone. She supposes that compared to where she was a year ago, it’s gotten easier.

 

It was nice of Dia and Ruby to offer up the cellar to her for as long as she’s in Uchiura. She’s not sure how long she’ll be able to take then up on the offer, but for now it’s better than her basement. It’s a lot more sturdy. And a lot more comfy.

 

She rubs her hand along the collar, checking to make sure it’s secure. A quick tug confirms it. Ruby - kind as always - has added some cushioning for her. She slips a finger in between the padding and her throat, feeling how soft it is. Tonight it shouldn’t cut into her neck. As she does so, her touch brushes against the faint scars from that horrible Tokyo transformation. She’s surprised they’re still there. Riko heals so fast now, these may be the last scars she ever gets.

 

Her hand drifts down, to her collarbone. To that other one. It’s hot to the touch, as it always is. It feels just as angry as the day she got it, when it healed too fast. It had burned as it did, searing into her skin. Every full moon it burns just as hot. Still, the scar hurts less every day. Sometimes she doesn’t notice it anymore, when she looks in the mirror it’s almost faint. She knows it will never disappear. It comes back just as ugly every month. Even so, a part of her keeps hoping it will fade forever and take this ugly curse with it.

 

Riko drags her hand away. She goes through the rest of the cursory checks. The muzzle is secure, the chain creaks when she yanks on it with her full strength - but it holds. She can’t reach the door either, no matter how much she pulls. 

 

She sighs and sits cross-legged on the ground. Someone had come in earlier and set up a dog bed. It smells like Mari. Who else could get one this size? Riko is pretty sure she’ll tear it apart by morning, but the thought is nice. It’s definitely more comfortable than the stone floor. It’s not the only touch left from the other members. The walls are covered in posters and pictures of her and the rest of the group. The reminders of her human life won’t keep her mind in place, but maybe it’ll ease her transition. She’s not sure who organized it, but they were all involved. Everyone’s scents mix together. When had they come here and done this?

 

Outside the door, Riko can sense them. Those familiar scents drift in, Ruby is still more fearful than the others, but it’s weaker now - replaced by determination. Dia is anxious but caring, You is always angry. At least this time she’s angry at the injustice of it all, Riko smells none of the background irritation directed at her from before. Kanan smells sad, but relieved. Riko knows it’s because Kanan is not on this side of the door with her. Yoshiko smells of uneasy thrill, Hanamaru like calm sympathy. Mari is unreadable as always, but maybe there’s a tinge of sorrow. 

 

There is something else too. Something soft, a cousin of anxiety, but warmer. 

 

Tender. 

 

She can smell it wafting off of all of them. It mingles with their individual scents and drifts all around her sensitive nose. Riko inhales, savoring it.

 

This one doesn’t have a name yet. She recognizes it, has she gotten small whifs of it before? Maybe it had always been there, when she wasn’t searching for it. She had always been better at picking up negative scents. She used to think that was just how people smell, but maybe that’s all she’d been looking for. 

 

This one is not negative. 

 

It settles sweetly on her taste buds. It is most concentrated around Chika, radiating out in waves.

 

Ah, who else could it have been, of course it would have been Chika.

 

For the first time since this started, Riko doesn’t feel scared of the transformation, of the people waiting for her outside the door. Chika approaches for one last question.

 

“Are you okay?”

 

Her familiar smell, intertwined with this new one, wraps all around Riko.

 

“Mm. Should only be a few minutes now.”

 

Riko takes a deep breath, feeling the start of the gentle tugging at her consciousness. It will get harder soon.

 

This scent is new, but maybe it isn’t. It’s stronger now, but maybe it’s always been this strong. Riko wants to name it. It’s not fear, anger, anxiety. It’s not any of the scents that she knows.

 

She wants to.

 

The tugging is intensifying, like being submerged by rough waves. Her consciousness rocks, set adrift from its moorings. She feels Chika move away from the door at someone’s (the dark-haired upper- what was that again, what was her name?) call. (Kanan? Thinks the girl in the back of her mind.) The girl strains against the thing (it’s a chain, says Riko) holding her, sniffing at the last particles of that scent as it moves away. Her consciousness as herself is fading fast, but she wants to memorize this moment. Imprint the smell, the emotions, the feelings that surround it into both her human and animal brain before she forgets. So that next time, she’ll know it by its scent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When is a monster not a monster?
> 
> I love monsters, I always have. I love them because they are monsters. I think they’re fascinating. I firmly believe that what we consider monsters reveals a lot about humanity. Anything can become a monster; the school bully, the strict guardian, yourself.   
> Riko’s monster has always been her anxiety, depression, and loss of passion; her inability to see herself as someone worthy of love and affection, both in canon and in this story.  
> This fic started as a joke, a fun idea of why Riko could be scared of dogs. How wouldn’t it be funny if Riko was a werewolf?   
> And then I realised that no, it wouldn’t be funny at all.   
> So I set out to write this, to see if I could take this mythological concept and use it to tackle Riko as a character. When I first watched Sunshine, I had no expectations. But what drew me to it was watching Riko and Chika’s intertwining, mirrored journeys towards self-acceptance. It was something truly special. The way they saw and loved each other, even when they couldn’t do the same for themselves. The way they encouraged each other to see just how amazing they were. I wanted to do that here. It’s the same journey, just with an added twist.   
> Though this is a chikariko fic, it is at its core about Riko. About Riko, coming to terms with herself through Chika, and through everyone who cares about her. Many people come into contact with Riko’s condition, but towards the end only one person sees her as a monster, and that is Riko herself. This isn’t about others learning to love Riko despite her curse, it’s about her learning to.   
> I think I did rather clumsily if I’m honest. This fic is a bit of a mess. I learned a lot about writing because of it it, and even though this is not the first thing I’ve posted on this account, it’s the first thing I’ve written in over 10 years. This epilogue specifically was the first. I sat up frantically in bed one night - long before any other part of this was outlined - and typed it into my phone. It helped kill my fear of writing, and in that way, this fic represents my monster too.   
> I’m overwhelmed with the support I’ve gotten for this monstrosity. Thank you for reading, despite the grammar mistakes, the typos, the occasional factual issue (Numazu Burger only serves fish, as I’ve learned since that chapter). Thank you.  
> So I leave you with this, the answer to the question posed at the beginning of this overly long and sappy author’s note. It’s a line from a poem by Caitlyn Siehl.  
>  It’s the lesson I learned about this work, and that hopefully Riko has learned about herself.
> 
> When is a monster not a monster?  
> Oh, when you love it.


End file.
